Honey, the story of abuse is that they always say they're sorry, and they always abuse again. Don't go there. You are young and your life is still full of promise. Someone who will love you and care for you the way you deserve to be cared for is out ther waiting!
And if you have any real fears about the little girl, you should call the local social services and alert them to the danger...

I am so sorry for what you are going through! I think you made a very tough and couragous discision to leave. You need to think of your well being. It is natural to hurt and feel pain even after everything he has put you through. It takes time, (I know, I hate hearing that too) Maybe you should get into some counseling for yourself...Good Luck!!

Actions speak so much louder than words. Has he gotten help with his anger and abuse issues since you have been gone? If not, you are right to stay away. Your life is far too valuable to have it taken away by someone elses hand. Perhaps it would help to not take any more calls from him until he can prove himself to you. I know it is easier said than done...but at least try. Sounds like you need to distance yourself to protect you and your emotions. All my best to you, sending prayers your way.

Him and his whole family think that I am in a different state right now. I miss him and her so much and I love them both so much. He is dieing from cancer among other things and I am just worried for her now that I am not there to be "mommy". The local CPS office was contacted (not by me) and they contacted me and asked why I didn't come forward first. I told them that why I was there she was taken care of even if he was on drugs and spaced out I could take care of her by myself. It is a day to day strugle not to call him or go back to him. Its really hard for me emotionally because I don't know what is going on.

I saw a Law and Order episode like that this week.
How does he treat the child?
Definately not a good situation for you to be in. Maybe he could seek counseling for anger management.

The whole reason I stayed as long as I did was because of her. My thinking was that if he is hitting me then he is not hitting her. There were only a couple of times when I didn't get there in time and he did beat her and as I stepped in he started on me. He kept saying "I don't have long to live why should I care what I do. Let me kill someone and have them put me in jail. They will let me out so they don't have to pay for my medical bills."

everyone says time heals and it does, as well as avoiding him and his calls for begging you to come back. no man is a man that puts hands on a woman. I slapped my stbx once when I learned of her affair and was the only time I actually carried out any physical thing to her. it was to get her to shut up as she was blaming me for everyone hating her for her cheating. I did nothing but try and make it work. emotional abuse and verbal can cut deep as well, and I am almost broke free. go to college, get a life of your own and you will make your own family and a man who is deserving of your love, not a cowardly abuser. I am sorry for your pain. emotionally and otherwise.

Like that song says "The first cut is the deepest" and he hurt me pretty bad. He was my first love ... my first everything. He is the one I gave my verginity too and that bond is a hard one to break. By the way, not to sound stupid or anything, but what is stbx mean?

Get out while you can and don't look back. You are still young enough to find someone you deserve. Never stay in a relationship that is abusive because I learned too late. Love is not abusive period. Pick up your face off the ground and move forward and as far away as possible. Listen to advice but make your own decision but don't wait until it's too late.

As a guy I say run from him, tell the police about the violence. You read about guys going off the deep end, and by then it's too late. It's not too late for you. Everyone on this site is hurting emotionally, we can all help each other. STBX- soon to be ex- I use that around here and people are adding it to their vocabulary

I am in the same situation. My husband is denying everything now, he never hit me he never kicked me he never shoved me. I say BULL SH&*. I asked my sister the question last night, Why do I love someone who openly said he wanted to murder me and our children? What the hell is wrong with me that I would love someone like that? If you think he is abusing the little girl or if you know that he is, you have to report it or you can be charged for child abuse just like him. If you know it is happening you are liable, you are obligated under the law to report it, it is a crime not to. Found that out when it happened in my family. CPS is involved in my life to and it is the best thing that could have ever happened to me and my children. We are protected now. If he is like my stbx he has to have that control over you, he doesn't have it now so he has to get it back, thats why he is calling. Stay away from it. Trust me each time you go back it gets worse. Most women leave their abuser 7 times. On the 7th time they either leave thier abuser for good or they are murderd by their abuser. We are on number 5. My advise, stay out call CPS get a restraining order. Protect yourself and that little girl, just don't go back.

I called the police when he told me that he was going to kill me and in the police report it said that there was no domestic abuse even though when they showed up (30 minutes after I called) I had blood dripping down my face, I couldn't move my wrists, and I was having a hard time remebering things from the concusion, and I was limping. CPS is involved but it seems like they don't really care. They called me to ask me some questions and I answered them then they started questioning me about my parenting skills. I told them at lest I wasn't on drugs the whole time and I could take care of her by myself. I also told them if they needed to place her somewhere that I would take her in a heart beat with no questions asked. It took me about 10 times before I finally left ... maybe more ... I lost count after the first 2 times.

Your name for this site kind of says it all, your "afraid", and you need to be. I never experienced this firsthand but I did work as a secretary in the domestic violence unit of the local police department, and one of the first things I learned was that they do not stop abusing you. He will do anything to get you back and then when you are back with him it will be good for awhile and then it will happen again, and again, etc. DO NOT believe him!!!! If he has been to counseling for this then ask to speak with the counselor, one or two sessions will not stop this behavior, sometimes years of counseling cannot stop it. However, if you do suspect him of abusing his daughter, contact your local womens shelter to ask for help. Call them anyway to get help for yourself also. This is a wonderful organization that is there for people in situations like yours and they will help you understand that you are not alone in this, and that you have someone who is in your corner helping you to fight. You've made the important first step of leaving, now you need to follow through with it. Good Luck to you and to the little girl.

I am involved with the crisis center and they are helping by counceling. Other than that all I can do is hope and pray that she is ok and that I will be able to get her soon. And yes it did get worse everytime I went back until he tried to kill me.

This too shall pass. My 19 year relationship was full of emotional abuse and a year later I am still dealing with it, but I am a different person since it ended. You will be too!

Hang in there,

Annie