Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
please do not ignorme I'm starting into this my husband and I are just spliting apart for different reasons he left our home almost two weeks ago and he just started to give me trouble, we have a 6 year old girl and he is been bugging he wants to take her overnight he is an unfit father I don't think she is safe even do he loves her to death he does not have a home he lives in his brothers house does not have a room/bed for her he has permit for arm guns that he lets around his room and I just don't feel is proper for her now. she is bearly getting use to her parents are not together anymore... he called me selfish and a lot of other things I won't ever stop him from seeing her he comes after school when I'm at work but he wants to take her out what should I do?
can I have any opinion please
I feel very anxious
thank you
Hardly anyone goes on ignored here, please try to be positive; see the other posts and you'll notice that even the rudest or least coherent of people still get many comments. We all know how hard this process is because we are all going through it or did some time ago, so we all understand that at times we won't be at our best in expressing what we feel or think.
If you think your daughter should not be with him, then this is something you have to get across very clearly in a court of law. I know very little of this, but living with his brother does not necessarily make him a bad or unfit parent, so I would avoid bringing that up unless you can prove his brother is a bad influence, they're both economically unstable or something else. Maybe he's just going through a difficult time because of the separation and wants to be close to family; that would be entirely reasonable to a judge, I would think.
She is his daughter, and you should try to accept that he has a right to want to see her, and it's only natural that he will try to do so whenever he can. Whether that's good for her or not is a matter for the courts, and you must first convince yourself that it is not good, understanding how much damage that outcome can cause to your daughter, and if you still feel that it's the right thing, then you need to build a solid case, with a good lawyer. Your daughter's mental health is worth either sacrifice (the paying for the good lawyer or the accepting that you'll have to share her with him if you finally accept that he's not that bad a parent after all, which again I am in no position whatsoever to judge).
You are not going to be allowed to dictate everything unless you can prove in a court of law that he's unfit.
The day may come when he's seeing someone else, and you won't be able to do anything about that either.
You will need a lawyer to set up temporary visitation rules.
I suggest for your own sanity and your daughter's emotional well-being that you settle it as amicably as possible