I lost my wife to social media. It all starts innocent but leads to a meet up. She got lost in this world of lust. I lost her forever.

That's horrifying. Ya this world is pretty f'd up. People only want the physical. No real connections exist anymore it seems. Since they would leave their husband because of lust!

It exists connection if is real love .. I've felt once butterflies in my stomach with a girl ,she felt the same but still she lost her virginity with an other boy :(

Its funny because she said she just wanted compliments. He calls her beautiful etc... I said the same thing to her daily. She just wasn't listing to me. She was deaf to my words. Nothing I said mattered to her. She was checked out of the marriage already.

That f***ing sucks she didn't listen to you and wanted this other dude. What a way to lead you on in a marriage she wasn't commited too. Not cool! 2 faced isn't good for you. Where is honesty in this world anymore?

Sorry to say it but I has to be said. Your issue has nothing to do with weed or pornography has to do with the fact that your man put other things ahead of you and he had become emotionally checked out. It could have been anything. Know how many people screwed up marriages in the 80's? Thousands if not millions. You're reverting to a time period that brings you the association of comfort and when life was simple and comprehensible. but it's all in your head. It's not the weed, not booze, not porn, it the individual. The problem is him and he didn't share your value system. It's easy to blame the knife but it's the person who thrust it in your heart who's to blame. Don't get mad with the means, be mad at the end and the person causing your pain. If people like to blaze and explore their sexuality it's fine as long as they keep their priorities straight. We can never control what other people feel and think as much as we like to think we're influential, it's up to them to hold up their end of the bargain. The problem was him.

Oh and it's borderline offensive to say all men like barbies. All human beings have a broad spectrum of attraction. I never went for Pam Anderson, she looks sticky and fake. There are plenty of genuine people out there. Don't lower yourself my subscribing to overly simplistic stereotypes. Men don't suck. Your ex sucked. My ex betrayed me too but I'm not going to say all women are devious whores. Just mine...Oh and the other guys exes in this public sphere. The whole point of this thing is to remember we aren't alone and generalizations are themselves wrong in general. This is a world of 7 billion individuals and I think you know that you just needed me to remind you

Well he did a lot more than just check out. It was a daily basis of emotional abuse. I felt like there was not a day that went by that he had to point out something wrong I did and how I'm a failure. I was walking on egg shells constantly with him. Had to do everything right and in his way. It even got to the point he said I should just kill myself. Mind you, his negativity was getting worse towards me while he was dating this other chick from his work. I had enough of the negativity and proceeded to go forward with separating. My point was that I believe the level People take their addictions to technology or substance addiction can and will effect their relationships and how they perceive the world. I believe strongly that had he not been a daily, hourly pothead he probably wouldn't have been trying to control me as a result of no control over himself. I also believe that the severity of his porn addiction caused him to want what he saw in the porn films in real life. Because he indeed saught out all that he saw in porn. He didn't care for a real connection. And the effect of porn as a whole on society right now is f'd up. Like I said, there are some couples that can't even get off without porn. It's taken an unhealthy hold over so many people's lives and jaded their perceptions of what intimacy is. It also wears out the adrenals & we're not meant to have that extreme of stimulation. It f***s with our brain chemistry. The receptors in our brain get overstimulated which can lead to mood disorders and agression when seeking that "high" again and again. I like where the 80s were technology-wise. They had the basics of a tv and landline.

Me mentioning Barbie was figurative speech. In that us women feel pressure to look good on the outside in a society that is all about looks, being influenced by looks so strongly.. .by the media. That's why I stated the question, why can't we be loved for the beauty on the inside? It's like our society is so far gone from anything real and the superficial reigns.

We are living in problem times and people are not follwing common sense principles.It makes us alert to our surrounding and more prone to the season we live in.We  have to manage our lives and family with prudence..If we do this it will help us be more cognizant of the day we live in...I am sorry about your ex addictikns you can get through this Think positive and change will come for the better.

Screw the 80's let's talk about the Roman imperial courts. Before porn or technology existed people have had insatiable lust and pushed things to the extreme. Again it's the individual. We can be infulenced so much, but desires come from within. Look at the kama sutra, Witten in sandscrit, a language that died centuries ago. Like 400 BCE. Wanting to be immersed in sexuality is a human thing, The boundries one pushes varies from person to person. The puritanical nonsense of having sexual aversions goes back to the Protestant Reformation in 1517. (You KNOW the Catholic clergy has historically always been into weird sexual stuff that left no age or gender out(not saying it's right just expect people to be people)). So again, modern technology is a means not an end and the real beginning of everything is the individual who made the decision to do what he or she did. I watch porn and I've been loyal for 11 years. I'm not that crazy when it comes to sex, basically no orifice is off limits and I like it as often as humanly possible, but I don't do pain or humiliation or really sick things like excrement. It sounds like your guy was an emotionally abusive bully. The problem was him. He took things over the top. There's nothing on the internet we can dream up ourselves in a vacuum. We humans are far more susceptible to desensitization to violence than we are to sex. Sex can be love but violence is always philosophically wrong. Like everything else is what you make it. You need a guy on your level, emotionally sexually and philosophically. You'll get there, but the outside isn't to blame. It's the mind and heart of the individual.

Is Not Without A Touch of irony that I defend social media because my wife has been posting pictures many of which are highly suggestive some of which are overtly pornographic through Snapchat and Instagram to her boyfriend(s). But the problem is her not the tools she used to wreak this destruction on my heart, It was her. If I tried to sue them to make some sort of political or social statement I would be laughed out of court

Zenlife, you make very valid points. In fact, this is why I'm never dating a guy (or girl, I guess) who watches porn. I had an ex who was an addict, too, and he was emotionally and sexually abusive. Whenever we were alone, he wanted to have "sexy time", as he'd call it. Once we hadn't even spoken to each for ten minutes, and then he literally picked me up and carried me to his bed. It was kind of terrifying.

He was a horrible person, with or without the porn. But the porn made it worse, for sure. He had this very sexual idea of women. He may have gotten it from his evident sociopathy, but the fact of the matter is: the porn. Didn't. Help. (Didn't help me, anyway.) If anything, it was a CONFIRMATION that women were like that. He had no one to tell him otherwise. No one to tell him that just because he was the man that he didn't deserve any girl that strolled by him. All he had was confirmation, after confirmation, after confirmation, that he was special, that he deserved everything, because he was a guy. And he's a younger guy, too. He's probably been watching that garbage since he was fourteen; that's he's been nursed on. That's what he thinks women should be. As such, he treats his mom like trash, he treated me like trash, and now he's probably going to full-on rape the next girl he meets. He's a psychopath in a cycle of confirmation and gratification, and there will probably never have anything to break it. (Unless that police report I filed against him comes through, but the detective seemed doubtful...:( ) Thus, he will never snap out of it, and he'll only continue this "bad habit" of his.

Besides, porn is ethically disgusting. It's dehumanizing for everyone involved, reducing whoever's behind the camera as an object, and whoever's behind the screen as just a sexual organ, spending its free time trying to get a good climax. It's perverted.

Anyway. I guess I might as well address the elephant in the room.

FamilyGuy, Zenlife said nothing about sexual aversions. She said nothing about not accepting a sex life, or even remaining abstinent until marriage, or anything like that. She didn't even mention religion. I don't even think she even said the words, "All men suck and I hate them." Correct me if I'm wrong, Zenlife, but I feel like all she's trying to say is that she wishes that society was more about intimacy and romance, rather than about the whole "who's hot and who's not" BS. Which IS a problem with society. Ever heard about those frat boys who set up tables in highly trafficked areas of their school so they can rate female passer-bys by how "hot" they are? Yeah, you think that's okay? Because that's literally all Zenlife is speaking out against, and you're taking this way too personally, honestly! Why can't she disapprove of porn? Because you like it? Because you think you're such a good guy who happens to watch porn? No! That's the worst argument ever! She's not talking about you, she's talking about porn! Tell me one good thing porn has done for young men - aside from teaching them how to fap. Tell me what porn has taught men about women? That women are INTELLIGENT? That it's okay for them to have EMOTIONS? That sometimes they really don't want the D? That intercourse is better when BOTH partners are in the mood? That love and respect and communication are more key in a relationship than sex? That rape is kind of illegal for a reason?? (Btw, some porn sites show videos of rape as part of the product. True story.)

I'm sorry, FamilyGuy, but it just doesn't seem like you're helping... :( It just seems like you're trying to make an excuse for yourself because you watch porn, which is kind of unnecessary...Sorry if I'm being rude - and I'm trying not to be - but, c'mon, man...

Anyway.

Zenlife, I too hope that society will fix itself. Maybe with all this new feminist stuff going around, like with the Women's March, things will get better? I mean, I don't think that the Women's March was exactly perfect. It was too partisan; I felt like it should've been called the "Democrat Women's March" rather than the "Women's March," but at least it's a step forward, right? I mean, it might not break society's focus on the carnal, but hopefully things like that will urge a more respectful attitude of women in this porn-addled country.

Idk about you guys but I think back in the day, divorce rates weren't as high as it is now! I take a bit of Zenlife's side on this. People honored/valued relationships more back in the day than they do now. Yes, back in the day these things happened too but it is just becoming worse as time goes by. Apparently divorce rates are increasing, people are just becoming more selfish nowadays, to what reason I don't know. A lot of people just get married not because of love but to build a strong empire. If you don't have your life together or don't have money, sometimes nobody wants to be with you. However, there are people out there who will love you and be with you regardless of money or whatever, it's just that it is hard to find because it is how the world is structured nowadays! This is due to SOCIAL MEDIA!!!! What we see and keep watching or any kinds of social media, effects how we think. It kind of brain washes us to believe and think this is how we are supposed to live. Have you guys heard the story of Rodney King? He was beaten by police and he didn't do anything and it was proven on video evidence that he didn't do anything and was beaten. However, due to social media and what social media said about him, people started believing what was on social media and not the video evidence. Point of this example, is how powerful social media can be! And yes, I believe social media can ruin relationships as well. But this is what the world is turning into. There is a structure and it cannot be changed. Yes we can't avoid social media and whatever is around us, that's fine, but people need to not get suked into all this bullshit on how society tells us to live our life.