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A situation I have been avoiding....

Dragonflywishes
Dragonflywishes

My ex lives in an apartment with a roommate, I live in the rented house we shared (which belongs to my parents).  So even though I was willing to move out, he didn't want to rent from my parents.  Which brings me to the "situation" I have encountered; My ex wants to come stay at the house with the kids while I go out for a few hours tonight.  I don't have many friends to call up and say "let's go out"; so I would have to go to dinner and a movie by myself.  I am not sure I am ready for this, but at the same time I knew I would have to get use to doing things on my own.  I guess what I am most concerned with is to look out on a Friday night at all the couples and families out enjoying their time together; while I sit there alone.  I told him I needed time to wrap my head around it, and he said he has already done it and it wasn't so bad.  I know this wouldn't be an issue if I had a job, which I can't get because I am overqualified for just about everything.  I am going to start working in August, it is just the next 2 months that I have to get through.  Anyway, I think I am just going to have to gather my strength to "bite the bullet" and will brave this new frontier.  This wasn't so hard when I was in my 20s because I was in college and had lots of friends; who now have been married/remarried and moved away.  Really is so much tougher in the 40s, even though I feel stronger now than I ever did when I was 20s; it's really sucks more now.....

serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
I struggle with this. I am not even ready to date but when my kids aren't with me I sorta feel lost. I don't have any go to people to just hang out with. I haven't venture out much but it's sorta depressing me that if I don't have my kids I feel I have no life. I feel in a rut.
crushed-soul14
crushed-soul14
I feel the same way when I don't have my kids, I just stay in bed all day, I know I shouldn't but I feel like what am I getting up for.
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
Crushed_soul14 thats practically like me if off!! Except me is the couch....i just have no motivation these days. I work can't wait to be off then thats that's what I do!
mylifetoday
mylifetoday
I myself would rather have my parents watch my kids rather him stay in your apartment and watch them. I'm a private person that way. I split from my ex at 41. I'm a people watcher, I would go to a food court in a mall and eat (people watch) then catch a movie. I always sat at the top my back against the wall this way I have the view of everyone else. You'll notice that many go to a movies by them selves. There is nothing wrong with it at all. Take care and have fun.
Dragonflywishes
Dragonflywishes
Thank you to all who sent their support....So...I ended up going to dinner and a movie with my 19 year old daughter and we had a blast...it helped that she is completely happy with her Dad's choices and wants to hang out with me. But I do know at some point I will have to just start doing the things I want on my own. And I know I will get there...but baby steps are okay right now....I mean I did just jump off the cliff and dive into being a divorced single again.
Biatta
Biatta
You right it is not that easy to find friends to hang out when you are at your 40s. I would sugest you to go to a gym. Just for a light work out..and for mostly to be around people. I am not devorceed yet, though I and my husband are not a couple for many years already. I am thinking about divorce very seriously. However, we have child with Autism and we are not that good financially.
I am preparing myself mentally so far. And, I am glad I already belong to a gym for several years. I at least know where will I spend my lonely weekends, when no one will be available.
Then, there are many other activities as well. Try art classes. Polymer clay hobby is very relaxing and calming. For the past five years I created so many beautiful things..that I am surprised myself.This hobby become my saviour.
You are on your new path in life. You will need to create your surrounding circle. .it is never late.
sjs777
sjs777
I am going through life very much on my own since bomb drop. I am always willing to listen. it becomes easier with each thing you do, with each passing day and all the knowledge you can consume. reach out any time. you can do this!
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