Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
OK, so it's been about 8 months since my wife and I officially separated and I'm beginning to open my eyes to the reality of the situation. Here is my perspective:
I lived in denial, as I knew she checked out some time ago, yet failed to accept that fact.
She is completely over me and has moved on with her life.
I'm not completely over her, have filed for bankruptcy, in the foreclose process with my home and I'm scared of what lies ahead.
I have many questions that will never be answered, such as could I have done anything more to make the marriage work? Would this have made a difference? Why doesn't she feel the same way as I do? Why is it so easy for her move on, while I'm still pretty devastated.
I miss what we once had together.
I am trying to accept this as a reality and slowly moving away from denial.
I see that my life is not over and there may be a wonderful life out there for me, some day.
I'm grateful for the things I do have in my life.
I'm not alone.
I've learned that reaching out to family and friends is always better than keeping things inside.
I've really got no other choice but to face this head on, do the best I can with what I have and realize that we only get one life. I've been pretty much masking the reality with denial and other distractions.
Today I'm going to use whatever positive I have inside me and put it to work.
Just felt that I needed to say this out loud, so that it gives me something to work off of...
Hope everyone is doing as well as they can at this moment. I'm not, but I will try...
I lived in denial, as I knew she checked out some time ago, yet failed to accept that fact.
She is completely over me and has moved on with her life.
I'm not completely over her, have filed for bankruptcy, in the foreclose process with my home and I'm scared of what lies ahead.
I have many questions that will never be answered, such as could I have done anything more to make the marriage work? Would this have made a difference? Why doesn't she feel the same way as I do? Why is it so easy for her move on, while I'm still pretty devastated.
I miss what we once had together.
I am trying to accept this as a reality and slowly moving away from denial.
I see that my life is not over and there may be a wonderful life out there for me, some day.
I'm grateful for the things I do have in my life.
I'm not alone.
I've learned that reaching out to family and friends is always better than keeping things inside.
I've really got no other choice but to face this head on, do the best I can with what I have and realize that we only get one life. I've been pretty much masking the reality with denial and other distractions.
Today I'm going to use whatever positive I have inside me and put it to work.
Just felt that I needed to say this out loud, so that it gives me something to work off of...
Hope everyone is doing as well as they can at this moment. I'm not, but I will try...
"I'm grateful for the things I do have in my life."
"I'm not alone."
Ha! I see that you really have learned something during your extended stay here! LOL!
Hey, seriously, all the best to you, Rman :)
As I have shed denial, I have been liberated, set free. While a difficult painful process, just magnificent.
All my best to you Rman.
But I must say, you're outlook despite it all is excellent. You're still obviously in pain, but at least you got the right idea. You raise some tough questions, but if you have to ask them, or even if they're just hypothetical, I would wait until you know you're completely comfortable with yourself and ready to know the answers. For example, when you find yourself in love with someone new. But the good thing is, by then you probably won't even care about getting those answers.
Maybe something that may help on the financial aspect.
Just a suggestion....one of the first things I did for myself when my marriage ended.
To safeguard against getting into really deep financial trouble I took a Dave Ramsay - Financial Peace University course.
He really has such sound advice on how to work your way out of debt and get onto a really good financial footing. I have not managed to implement everything he suggested but it helped me to get my mind straight on my financial fears and woes. You may want to check out his website.