Good Morning Everyone- I was curious for those of you have narcissistic stbx's or x's... I have been separated for about six weeks now. In that time, I have gone through nearly every emotion on the spectrum. Up until this point, I have really been grieving the immense loss of my dreams, the idea of being married, my (few) happy memories of my marriage and some of the day to day things that were always nice with my stbx (holding hands or cuddling at night, our physical relationship, having another adult around, etc.). Anyway- this week, I have noticed a shift in my sadness- I am still sad- but it less about him and really only about the "idea" of him (I really liked the idea of being married). But the other thing that has started happening, which as taken me a little off guard- is I am starting to get these random painful memories of things/situations from our marriage when he was mean/emotionally abusive/unethical or immoral/etc.. Some of these memories have surprised me- I haven't thought about them in years- others are more recent and I had not really thought much about them until now. It's like I am reliving all of the pain he put me through for our 18 years together? Is this normal? Sometimes something is triggered by a tone in his voice when he calls or a look on his face when I see him. Other times, the memories are just random. On one hand, it is disconcerting because the memories are terrible- but on the other hand- it has been helpful to my healing- because up until this point, my mind would only let me remember the "good" memories.
Any thoughts? Is this just a normal part of the letting go process?

Ouch!
K