Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am actually afraid to post this...I am not sure..well maybe I do, what is going on with me. I cannot sleep at night..I get 2 hours sleep, trying to work, take care of the kids, deal with this impeding divorce (which by the way after all he's done I don't want but it is a necessary evil). I think my body is shutting down. I try to sleep, try relaxation techniques but I am becoming ill from not. To make an appt to see the doctor, I need to get time from work which I cannot take right now...I am skating on thin ice there, as well, but if I go on this road I will lose my kids to him being an unfit mother or someone who cannot handle life. Let me say I started back on antidepressants yesterday, I thought I was doing well enough and had been off them for several months. I don't know where to turn and feel like I am going crazy from lack of sleep and just the general anxiety of dealing with it all. I am soooo scared...VERY scared to feel like this. My children are my life, and if I lose them b/c I cannot pull it together then I don't know. I have to maintain the happy face and composure at work and my faculties and lately I haven't. Maybe my parents were right..why did I look for a job so soon and I should have moved up with them. Please I know I need to pull it together but I can't...I can't. I wish I had the time to take off just for a day to figure it out, but like all parents you must take care of them first. I am worried for myself that I will end up in the psyche ward from lack of sleep. Has anyone felt this way and how or what did they do...please help.
Try to focus on one goal: Make a list of questions/concerns and go to your physician for help. The rest will become more clear when your body has had a chance to rest. (You know I'm here for you when you need me, my friend...I'll even sign on Meebo *shudders*)!
Talk to your boss, explain your situation--the divorce, etc. I found my boss was very understanding. Let's face it--they don't want to lose good workers.
Hugs! I hope you work this out. You gotta get some rest. It really does help with the stress of divorce.
I had a similar situation last year after I stopped taking SSRI's suddenly. It didn't happen right away - about 3 months after I stopped. You have started them again, but when you discontinued them, did you do so slowly or abruptly? Between that and the lack of sleep (which I also went through) that could be playing a major role in this. Definitely check with your physician too.
We're here for you! (((((Llmt))))))
I would also suggest talking to a counselor or psychologist. But I know that would also require taking off work. My mom found a great 24-hour hotline through my dad's work, where I can call any time of day and speak with a psychologist. Maybe you can see if your job offers anything like that.
And talk to your boss. You don't want him or her thinking your just having a negative attitude at work for no reason. You don't want to lose your job over this.
Take care and I'm here if you want to talk.
Sometimes, crying uncontrollably is all you can do.
((((((((((((((((Llmt))))))))))))))))
My nighttime sleep has been about 4 hrs per night lately and I have been grabbing quick naps when I can. I know your kiddos are younger though, and that might be impossible for you..
I am just so sorry you feel so at the edge right now and I wish I had some great advice. I'm here for you, Hon.
It may look bad from where you sit right now, but once you make it through this you'll see it with different eyes. Being in the same house as him is making a lot harder for you to get past this. It's a constant reminder of what is, not what should have been.
Take care of yourself and don't worry about losing your children, you won't. You still have your parents to lean on if you need them, they are there for you.
This happened to me and the lack of sleep was a killer. I realized that, after working all day, with the kids, making sure they are eating right, clthes washed, house clean, by the time they get tucked in, you are left with you and your mind. It races. Mine did anyway. You know what helped me? I moved a TV into the bedroom. If I didn't have the urge to read a book, I would turn the TV on and watch the Food Network or CNN. Eventually I would doze off. It kept my mind occupied--so it didn't race. I still cannot just go to bed in a dark, quiet bedroom.
I think you just need some rest and it seems as though you can't even get it, when you do have the time to rest. It is almost as if once the kids and responsibilities are done for the night, we are inundated with having to deal with reality and its thoughts. Try to let them go when it is your time to rest. Once you start to get rested and are able to take care of yourself, then you can start figuring out the things that need to be thought through. At that point, once rested, I think we realize that half the crap that was in our head can just be let go...
Be well and let us know...
Yoga before bed is great too!
Since he is still in the house with you, make sure he is doing his fair share of work around the house and with shuttling the kids to where they need to be (school, daycare, etc). If he isn't, demand that he do so. He will need to be doing things for them by himself when you guys do separate, so maybe now is a good time to give yourself some relief by forcing him to do what he's going to do when you guys don't live under the same roof anymore.
Also, strongly consider using a sick day or vacation day strictly for yourself to catch up on sleep and to gather strength you'll need to go forward. I remember the "burning the candle at both ends" feeling and it sucked. It feels like the list of stuff you have to do never ends. Use either Tylenol PM or Valerian supplements to help with sleep.....whichever you are most comfortable with.
Lean on friends when you can. We are all here for you.
Now that sound really weak. It is. Because I really don't know how to help you specifically. Your situation frightens me.
I would begin to treat it like going to war and you are under siege. So you have to marshall your forces and develop a center base of operations. That center base will be yourself. Once you are properly fortified and supplied, you can begin to send out patrols to recon your area, to see what the enemy (your STBX) is planning.
The first step is to make your center base, you, unassailable.
I asked my doctor as to what I could do, he suggested taking Benadryl at night, it is over the counter and I use the generic form so it does not cost very much... it does not react to my blood pressure or diabetic meds, I have finally gotten good sleep since I have been taking it, be sure and try and get 8 hours of sleep when you take it otherwise you are going to wake up groggy....
There is also a natural herbal called melatonin, it is a natural chemical that your body produces to make you sleep, it helps me get to sleep fast but it does not keep my asleep....