Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So I had my sons party tonight with the stbx. I was really concerned that it would set me back as far as my progress.
Well anyways heres what happened.
The bday party went great. I was happy, and my stbx was nice. We talked and I spent most the time with my son. I actually gave her a hug and a kiss, I smiled and had a good time. She was very nice to me and talked to me like we were still married.
Then we went to her house for the cake and presents. That went fine too most of the night. Then our friends left; it was great seeing them and they acted like nothing had changed which I appreciated.
Then it was just her and me and my youngest and she started in with me. I got all kinds of questions about wether I was dating, and her being worried if I would beat up her boyfriend if I ran into him. Basically the whole night got spoiled. I asked her why she was ruining such a good night with all of us and she said I deserved it because I had put her on a roller coaster ride and now she was returning the favor.
We ended up talking/fighting for almost 2 hours. The same old shit, who did what, who was to blame...blah blah blah.
This time I was the bigger man and at the end asked her for a hug and a kiss. I could tell she didnt want to do it, but she did. She has so much anger towards me, I dont know if she is actually jealous that I am getting on with my life, or if she is just mad because she blames everything on me.
I felt ok leaving her place, I still felt strong. But then I went out to a bar and drank, and the more I drank, the more I thought about her and how much I missed her. I thought about how nice she looked and about our life we used to have.
Fricking drinking is just not helping me at all. I just hope tomorrow I dont wake up sad because I cant stand to go back to where I was 3 weeks ago....I just cant handle that.
Well anyways heres what happened.
The bday party went great. I was happy, and my stbx was nice. We talked and I spent most the time with my son. I actually gave her a hug and a kiss, I smiled and had a good time. She was very nice to me and talked to me like we were still married.
Then we went to her house for the cake and presents. That went fine too most of the night. Then our friends left; it was great seeing them and they acted like nothing had changed which I appreciated.
Then it was just her and me and my youngest and she started in with me. I got all kinds of questions about wether I was dating, and her being worried if I would beat up her boyfriend if I ran into him. Basically the whole night got spoiled. I asked her why she was ruining such a good night with all of us and she said I deserved it because I had put her on a roller coaster ride and now she was returning the favor.
We ended up talking/fighting for almost 2 hours. The same old shit, who did what, who was to blame...blah blah blah.
This time I was the bigger man and at the end asked her for a hug and a kiss. I could tell she didnt want to do it, but she did. She has so much anger towards me, I dont know if she is actually jealous that I am getting on with my life, or if she is just mad because she blames everything on me.
I felt ok leaving her place, I still felt strong. But then I went out to a bar and drank, and the more I drank, the more I thought about her and how much I missed her. I thought about how nice she looked and about our life we used to have.
Fricking drinking is just not helping me at all. I just hope tomorrow I dont wake up sad because I cant stand to go back to where I was 3 weeks ago....I just cant handle that.
Does she cry a lot when you two talk, or otherwise break down?
I know you said she seems angry with you a lot of the time, and that could be more about the situation than it is actually aimed at you.
This damned cycle is so confusing.
Good Luck.
I definitely get more down when I drink (big surprise since alcohol is a downer), but in the past I was down for days afterwards too. Today I feel as strong as I did yesterday. So the feelings I had last night have passed.
I think im realizing more and more that although I love my wife, and I miss her, im not sure I ever want to go back to my old life. My wife just isnt the same person anymore, and im not sure I could live and love her the way I used to.
Keep up your good work and good spirits. The others have given you very good advice and words of wisdom. Let's embrace this. Look forward to reading more.