My advice may sound stupidly simple, but it's a tough one. Don't bottle it up. If you're destroyed cry, find someplace you feel safe enough to cry and cry and cry and cry until you can stop. If you need to break stuff go to the dollar store and buy as much as you can and find someplace where you can smash it. If you need to lean on someone call someone you trust and just say, "Hey, I need someone." If you need to add that you don't need to be judged or whatever, just tell them that "This is what I need..." and ask for it. If someone cares about you they will do their best by you.
I know it sounds simple but isn't because I have a very hard time following it sometimes. I have a hard time letting myself be vulnerable. I have a hard time believing that people won't go for the jugular if I trust them.
It sounds like a shit situation, and it sounds like you're right to feel the way you do.
So the best way to take care of yourself is to let that pain drown you like a huge wave for a bit. It's something I'm learning to do is to cry until my body has had enough and then think about the situation.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time and going through this pain. Hang in there. There are people who do care about your well being.

Cudaman, I'm not TOO familiar with your situtation, however I do remember reading a post where you again stated that this woman made your life miserable, you felt you were being used and then tossed aside, and were glad to be rid of her.

I don't remmebr reading anywhere that you were wanting or expecting a reconciliation. I thought you were again looking to date and move on.

So, I'm thinking that what she does at this point is no longer your problem or concern.

Maybe you can clear this up for me, because you were putting up dating site profiles. Was she supposed to sit home and pine away?

If the two of you are split, her life and her choices are her own now, regardless of whether you think they are the right or approriate ones.

In addition, your concern should be on what you're doing and your behavior, not hers.

I'm sorry Cuda. It really doesn't matter if you were holding a touch of a thought of a reconciliation, it hurts like hell when you learn that they have moved on without a seeming second thought.

I stand by what I said to you ages ago, you seen like a nice guy. Try to stand strong all the time, your emotions run high.

I'm sorry you had to hear this, coming the way it did although there isn't really a good way to hear that sort of information.. But yes, don't bottle it up. Stomp or cry it out. Real men DO cry.

Your hurting because you still care. We can care about the ex, or stbx, and still hurt. You had 22 years with her.
I'd feel the same way about my husband of 32 years.
don't bottle it up. post here. ((hugs))

Rumpelsti: I havent moved on with my life this woman has destroyed my life and destoryed my inner being. I was just looking at dating sites I wasnt hooking up and moving on. I dont know how you come up with that crap! I am trying to move on with 0 contact. Again when your with sombody for 22 years your feelings dont go away over night. Maybe they do with you but not me. Yes she is not my problem or concern nor can I say anything . But that doesnt take the fucking hurt away ok? I am still in love with her and I love my kid with all my heart! Ok? You make it sound like hey there just trash thrown them in the shit can forget them and move on! Wow I wish I was like you and just throw people away on a whim and move on. Even if I found sombody to go out with I would still feel guilty that I was going out on her. I guess you dont know how deeply I love this woman! And evidently dont care.

It's so hard to see someone that we once loved self destructing.

The wish to go back in time and make everything better is so strong. Sadly none of us is ever able to do that.

Just get it out. Get it all out.

Cuda, you have a habit here of telling off those who may not tell you exactly what you want to hear, in the fashion you want to hear it.

Since I feel I can no longer be honest with you, I will no longer read/reply to your threads.

Best wishes to you :)

Everybody eles thanks so much for you concern I really needed it

Rumpesti : That will work thanks

I personally do not want my ex back nor do I think I even love him anymore, but if I found out he was with someone else and she was pregnant I know it would upset me for whatever reason I don't know. I feel your pain and the hurt you have after being with someone so long it is a natural emotion to feel. Concentrate on YOU and just know that the people we love the most are the ones that seem to hurt us the most. We are here for you.HUGS

i'm sorry, Cudaman. sometimes, we just have to let people make their own decisions and watch helplessly.

Ahhh. Cuda knows how I feel. The first here to really understand. Even though you know you can't ake them back, you still love them.
I am sorry for your pain. I really do feel the same pain.
I can't just turn off the love either. But we, with time, will be o.k.
That's what hey say anyhow.
Hang in there.

Yes, like Patti said, self destructing. Your EX is in a bad place Cudaman, you cannot help her. Don't bottle this up. Write about it in a journal and lock it up. Put down everything, it will be a big purge.

I am truly sorry that you are hurting so much over this. A guy friend of mine has had to deal with something a little bit similar. His ex had told him several times that she was pregnant and miscarried. They had a baby girl together but she told him she had been pregnant with twins and lost one and that it was a boy. The last time she said told him she miscarried they were not together but had hooked up a few months earlier. She told him she was shopping and that when she went to the washroom she lost the baby, she told him she would see the Dr when she was home in a few days. Sorry this is too many details, but my point is that non of it was ever true! I am really not sure why a woman would tell something like this to her son? If he knew she was pregnant and she ended up losing the babies that would be different. But why do you suddenly just drop this bomb on someone? It's playing games, people do many things to gain sympathy from others. I only mention this to you because my brother's ex wife tried the same thing with him after she had been with many many men, her sister had already told him that she had her tubes tied after her last baby with my brother, a secret she kept from him. Just warning you to be careful with your heart, you may be hurting over something that is nothing but a huge lie.

Wow Lianna Me you took the words right out my mouth. I have been thinking the same thing. This woman is a pathalocial lier I am pretty sure she is Bi- Polar. Why would she tell Harry my sons freind this? I dont think he is making this up because he doesnt know that her tubes are tied. He said that she kept saying this over and over she carried the twins for six weeks and then lost them. He said that she broke it off with this Larry guy I dont even know any Larry but I have been gone for 6 months too. She was so concerned about Aids to the point of a fanatic on it . With her daughter comming on with the systems full blown now and probably not having that many years left to live. I just cant emagine her having unprotected sex. Shes not a whore she was alwasy faithfull to me. This is totally out of character for her. I have let the chips fall where they fall and she is really getting her carma now . I am not going to step in again, I love her and my son with all my heart I wish I could just turn it off! And yes faithfull your right you just have to let people make there own decisions and watch helplessly that is the only thing I can do. If I called or went over there she would just start her crap all over again but this time worse. The roomate she moved in has started doing meth again and supposidly she is going to kick her out. I mean this soap opera just keeps going and going. THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL YOUR KIND WORDS THEY REALLY HELP! I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH!