((hugs))

Welcome to life. It sucks some days but others seem to rock.

Don't get comfortable in it.

It's possible to live your entire life in misery.

Just because you've accepted that you were in denial means nothing. You have to put action to your words. Or in essence you're still in denial.

What are you going to do?

Marriage counseling?
Divorce?
Change your job?
Spend more time with your kids?
File for bankrupsy?
Start a savings account?
Clean your gutters? (personal hill/ ladder that I climbed today....I have my own issues too.....)

(Patti, that's a meaningful post for my life these days too, as you know -- thanks for that)

I am going to file for bankruptcy 1st.

Have you ever done it before?

Good first step.

Have you talked to a lawyer? If you're going through with the divorce, it might be wise to time it before or after? (IDK....but it's something to ask about.)

I received a letter from an attorney, stating that I'm being sued for $24k
for credit card debt. The card is in my name only, even though the debt was incurred during the marriage. But right now I can only afford one attorney at a time. Bankruptcy first, then perhaps a mediator. I've never gone through any of this before and in fact, I used to have great credit, prior to marriage.

I can believe that.

Just remember that you can only file so many times in such a time. Guard yourself that she's not able to run up the bills again after you file, and before the divorce. You could get yourself in some real trouble.

wow

the dam really has broken

that's amazing

Even though the card is in your name only you got the debt together. Make sure her name is on the bankruptcy too. I was going to file after the divorce. But because it had her name on it to I could not do so. So I am paying for it.

I dont know how much you have researched but after you file you and her can not charge anything, if you are back on house you will have to start making full payments and not be late.

Good luck.

Solid plan. She doesn't have an income, right, so it's better to deal with this now than have it muck up the divorce. I've been through both and I'd rather chew glass than to do it again.

all debt incurred during marriage and possessions and assets are equally possessed by both marital partners.

Rman, you might want to get a consultation from both a divorce and a bankruptcy attorney quickly too weigh the pros and cons.

I wonder if your wife will quickly divorce you first if you choose to file bankruptcy before divorcing her. She may do that to try to avoid marital debt responsibility.

xoxo

((dude hug)) hang in there, Rman, you're a good guy and you'll make it through this.