Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members

100,360 Posts

0 Online

kdMac 02/06/2010

My son had a basketball tournament today... so I brought my other son and went to watch. Their dad met me there and came and sat with me... and for the first time since we separated I honestly didn't feel any awkwardness or tension (from me)... he didn't feel like anyone more than just someone I have known a long time (definitely not my husband). I didn't get creeped out that he was close to me- I didn't feel anything really. A lot of you have talked about getting to a place where you don't have any feelings for your ex- good or bad- and I wondered what it would be like to get there... but here I am (and I think he could have told me he was engaged I would have probably just congratulated him).... it's so strange to be here..... does this neutral feeling go away or once it is here is it here to stay?

deleted_user 02/06/2010

I think its weird when you first recognize that feeling, and the word for it escapes me right now of what I generally call it.

That being said, its not a bad feeling to have because it helps you move forward.

llmt 02/06/2010

I am still searching for that feeling..although I lied, I have had to develop more and more based on knowing he is still with her.

deleted_user 02/06/2010

Once I hit that feeling, I've stayed that way. I honestly don't have any good or bad feelings for my ex and it's been almost 3 years since we divorced, almost 4 since we separated.

deleted_user 02/06/2010

That is great..I wish I could get to the point where I could sit next to my stbx without having a strong urge to wrap my hands around his throat and squeezing the life out of him..

Honestly, I may never get to that place, which is okay with me, considering all that he has done to me and other's..

But I am glad you have gotten to that place..

lycesq 02/06/2010

kd - it's a good thing and I'm glad you made it there!

Lynne

deleted_user 02/06/2010

KD, I'm with Lynne, so glad you have made it to that point.

It is rather odd at first, but it sure makes life a heck of a lot easier!

Good for you and big hug being sent your way.

deleted_user 02/06/2010

I wish I could feel like you. :-(

patti22 02/06/2010

I still have days when there are twinges, but it's not so much of wanting Him back, but of wanting the Intact family back that gets to me.

So I guess I'm saying the feeling pretty much stays.

For my kids, I still see them have days when they'd really want things back. My ex would argue that though. But I'm "safe Zone" for the kids and their feelings....I just let them talk and say I understand. They know nothing's going to change, but they need to vent now and then....

deleted_user 02/06/2010

Yeah, I am not there yet either. I am with lola on this one.

Especially when we have sat togethr, he calls me dear and touches my back- no boundaries. Itry NOT to sit next to him.

I am glad for you, KD. It makes for a much more serene life.

deleted_user 02/07/2010

I just reached that place this week. and it sure feels like it is here to stay.

moving on is hard, but we have to move on.

Glad that you are there too.

take care

Join the Conversation