I think, as the cliche says, it takes two to make a marriage work, one to decide to end it.

I think it is very possible to married for 20 years and be happy...but I think people easily forget about the work involved. It's not (as most of us know) a bed of roses...it takes effort, compromise, time, and work. If one partner fails to do these things then, yes, there would be dissatisfaction.

My parents have been married almost 40 years...my grandparents for 63 before they died. Was it always wonderful? No. Did they stick together as a team, work out differences, love and respect each other? Yup...until death did they part.

Yes! LOL Here's the eternal optimist despite of everything!!!!!!!!

What is your definition of happiness? I am starting to see it as about moments and events, not as a state of life. Can two people BOTH stay in a happy state together forever? Of course not. Can they continue to have happy moments together repeatedly for decades? I think so. :)

Sure, if both are willing to do the work along the way, (...to first question)

To the second... I do not believe that "happily ever after" is void of unhappiness or hardship. I believe that "happily ever after" is the collective life, in retrospect, being proud of the challenges overcome and humble at its blessings.

hey i was married for 20 yrs happily or so i thought..it was yr 33 that was the bitch *smirk*

and yes i believe happily ever after exist..we just got the wrong ones this time..

I asked my mother what is different about those older generations, where almost everyone stayed married for 50 or 60 years. She said, "oh, they still hated each other. They just didn't get divorced" But I bet they still loved each other on some level, maybe that meant more to them than our generations?
Maybe because of whatever social restrictions back then that discouraged divorce forced the couples to find happiness, or forever be miserable.

You can't make someone else responsible for your own happiness.

I wonder for the very reason that Windclimber mentioned. Are the people who stay married really happy, or have they just made a decision to stay together no matter what?

There's usually drugs involved, or just a complete oblivion to abuse, hurt feelings, and the like.

My sister has been married for 34 years and happy. They've had their ups and downs but always together and happy for the most part. I've never liked him but, it is enough that she is happy with him.

I hope to find this longevity and effort from my future mate.

I will always believe in happily ever after. No matter what. I might be just naive but... Thats me.

Just because our "happily ever afters" did not work, doesn't mean all marriages are as such. Sour grapes if we allow our ex's to define our concept of happy...in marriage or elsewhere. I, personally, grew up in an environment of a loving marriage (parental/grandparental). I refuse to become a Bitter Betty!

I do not believe in that anymore. We are all disposable.

I've been married a few times....once to a gay man....yes indeed and I STILL BELIEVE! Hunting for #___

Control end.

no