Hi and welcome. Iim sorry you are going through this. I am too and it is scary and difficult. You and your children will make it through though.
Are you a stay at home mom? Do you have a lawyer yet? What is husband saying as far as custody, alimony, etc?

I am a stay at home mom to a 3.5 year old daughter. My husband moved out almost 4 months ago and wants a divorce. The process of dealing with the grief has been very up and down for me but I am making progress.
You are not alone in this journey. Please message me if you need to talk.

Thank you so much for your comment. I do not have a lawyer yet....i keep trying to call, but just havent been able to. this all just took place within the last few weeks.

I work full time...which makes this hard...i just want to make sure my kids are ok (my 2 year old doesnt really know whats going on....the 4 year old concerns me) How is your 3.5 year old doing with it all since your husband moved out?

I think my husband may have another woman he is seeing. with all the transition that is going to be happening with my kids, meeting another woman is not something i want them to go through right now. i'm so confused.

I'm sorry. It is rough. My daughter is doing fine but worry about how she will do when she has to be put in school and I have to go go work.

She actually sees her dad and has more quality time with him now than she did before. He got an apartment 5 minutes away and she goes over there 3 afternoons from 5-7 and then before nap on Saturday and after nap on Sunday. She does not sleep over there because she is very attached to me, especially at night. She enjoys it but she has asked him to stay when he drops her off and she also says that she wishes he still lived here. Heartbreaking to hear at first. She's okay though.
I will be trying to get full physical custody (at least until she is school age) since I am the one that has cared for her 90% of the time.

Has your husband moved out yet? My friend is also getting a divorce and has 3 young children (6months, 3, 5). Her husband is living with someone else now. She has it where he comes to the house and then they (the two older ones) can go to his house if the woman is out of town. She has concerns about the other woman and her children also. I'm not really sure what you can do about that except try to talk to your husband and hope he understands for the time being.

You are going to be okay and you will get through this. Your children will be okay too. Kids are so resiliant. Just try to stay as amicable with your husband as possible. I know it is hard to do that.

He is still living with us for now...but last night did not come back until midnight. My daughter asks "why doesnt daddy put me to bed anymore, i wish daddy was here with us etc." these are the things that make me cry the most.

I am trying to break any conversation with him unless it is about the kids, which helps, but it's hard to do. He just texted me a few minutes ago and asked if i got a lawyer yet....he wants to get this going :-(

:(
I know that is rough for you. Try to stay strong. That was the type of thing that made me cry the most too. But, like I said, my daughter has done great transitioning to him not being here. In the beginning, I cried A LOT. I had some major down weeks. I explained to her that daddy didn't live at our house anymore but that he loved her very very much all the time and that should could go to him apartment to see him. She often saw me crying during the earlier months. I just explained to her that I missed daddy but that I would feel better soon. I would ask her how she was feeling and she would say sad (of course because I was sad). I tried to tell her it was okay to be sad when you missed someone but that you would see them soon. It was difficult but she seemed okay.

I am doing MUCH better for the past two weeks. We haven't actually filed but he has made it clear that having a wife, a house, and our family is NOT what he wants. He is very happy with his limited responsibility.

What has he said about moving out? Is he ready to do that? From what you have said, it does sound like there is another woman. I'm sorry :( I know that can't be easy for you to still be living with him.
Have you talked about custody? I'm sure your main concern is with your daughters. Is he wanting 50/50? How active has he been with their lives?

It is all so terrible. I know. Try to be kind to your self and know that this is all a process with lots of ups and downs. As you move forward. The ups will be higher and the downs will not be as bad. You have to get through the toughest part though and it isn't easy, especially when you have little ones to care for and protect. It is very scary thinking about being a single mother to two young children but you can do it. You guys will be happier in the end and deserve to be with someone that will not opt out of the family whenever he feels like it.

Btw, your children's behavior may change due to the instability of the family, all the change, and how you are affected. They may act out or have more tantrums, or trouble sleeping. My daughter had nightmares for a while I think due to how upset I was. I tried to hide it from her but she could tell since we were together all day and I struggled to get through the day. She also started having more fits in the earlier months. She has since gone back to normal with very few nightmares. I made the bedroom special for us (we cosleep) with new comforter, her special spot on her bed, and made her daddy's spot a special, cozy reading area with new pillows, moved the book shelf by it, etc. I also got some relaxing lavender spray to put on her bed before she goes to sleep and told her that it would help with her bad dreams.

She has really adjusted now and we are getting along really well right now.

He has been very involved in their lives. Its only been up until recently that he has started to disappoint them, saying he will be home to put them to bed etc and just not showing up. I'm sure he will want 50 custody tho.
There has been no talk yet of moving out. we need to discuss who wants to keep the house etc. this all just is happening so fast that i just want to hide out and not deal with it. I know i cant do that tho.

thank you so much for your comments. Like i said, i dont have many friends in my area, so not many people to talk to, besides my parents who just make it worse.

Breakups and divorce are never easy. It seems it is more intense when children are involved. Regardless of what you do, your children will be affected to some degree because everything changes in a divorce. The main concern for you is your kids, that they feel secure with you and for you to keep them close to you and reassure them that everything is going to be ok.

Being civil with your husband will help a lot and any discussions you have, be sure the kids aren't around. Be as civil as you can, under the circumstances,. it will be to your advantage in the long run. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

There are some great people here to support you. I have been here almost 8 years.

oldbiker....thank you s o much, my main focus is going to be on my girls, I just want them to be ok.

I have so many emotions right now...its hard to hide them from the girls. I just wish everything could be normal again...that's all I want

Hi, I am sorry that your also going though this too. My husband left a lil over a month ago and I also have a 3 year old. My husband is the one that wanted the divorce and he moved out. I was actually the one that found a divorce lawyer and filed the paper work because I learned it was to my best benefit. I am in TX and here he is pretty much entitled to half of everything, but since it was my lawyer she really looked out for me and because he is so ready to be responsibility free he doesnt really care whats in the paper work. With that being said you need to take care of you and your children so I would definetly suggest seeing a lawyer before he does.

Kids are really smart, my daughter would see my crying all the time and wipe my tears away and would say the sweetests things to me. Once she told me mommy lets pray so you can be happy. Another time she even told me to stop chasing him. I have no idea where a 3 yr old would get that from but it did make me realize that he isnt worth my tears. Like millypoo stated just keep reminding them that you and daddy love them.

Although I still have my days it really is true what everyone is saying that those sad days become less. We all will get though this. Im praying for you and your family.

I am in the same boat as you, found this website while looking for others who can help me through this transition that I am just now starting...I have 2 kids (5/10) as well......

This is my first post, I haven't even read anything else...I am in shock thinking about what the future holds.

So scary

Hello.. I am also new here, going through the same thing. My husband left em, met someone now wants a divorce. He says he will always love me, but that only makes me hurt more. Everyone says it will get easier, but having some piece has not even made a dent yet in me..