I'm lonely too, it is... rough. I miss all the things in the OP.

The way people can leave... it's too risky to love it seems. If only we could love ourselves and have it be as satisfying.

Hope you're feeling better today.

If we knew this pain could be a part of loving we would try all we could not to!
f it weren't for living in student halls I would have animals here!! They seem like a better option haha

First I want to say I'm in Canada and winter is not going away! That on its own is depressing. You are from Scotland, I'd love to hear your accent, I've only heard Scottish guys.
People have told me to get out and find a guy , hit the gym and have fun. All rather hard when you're devastated and pregnant too.
I've had a broken heart before, but this time the extreme betrayal is really hard to deal with. It takes time and a lot of it before we move on with our lives. My first boyfriend and I lived together for 10 years and it took me many years to not feel sadness when I thought of him.
This time is worse and I find now I don't trust anyone or anything they say. Someone knew what he was doing and could have saved me from losing everything financially, and I wouldn't be pregnant either. This person says it wasn't their place to tell me, but I feel hurt by them too.
I don't want to be bitter and angry and I still really want to be loved.
Give yourself plenty of time and one day you will find yourself interested in sharing your heart again. Don't know when and not saying it will be easy, but you will have those feelings of love again. Next time around you will know what you want/need in a relationship, and don't settle for less.

I've always wanted to see Canada! It sounds amazing :) I like the idea of proper snow heh
My accent is apparently a bit of a conundrum. I had a fight with a man once as he did not believe I wasn't Irish.....Apparently there is a twang to my accent compared to most. I'm from the coast so it isn't as bad as Glaswegian. So while some put on a horrible nasal voice and go "Awrite pal hows it gawn? Gonnae geez a fag?" My reply (non nasal thankyou) "No, I'm afraid I don't smoke!"

I have been told that a lot. But It is hard. I do hope that one day it'll be alright.

Also, you guys have Moose and other cool animals!
The most I had was a cow roaring at me and bats chasing me once.....
That was weird...

And that one time a pigeon tried to steal my money.....

I had the same experience.I got divorced just before going on my scholarship to USA.We planned every thing and we meant to go together there .I even sent his papers so we can study in one university .Then suddenly he decided to get divorced and changed his mind.I felt bad and lonely .I did not want to go alone.My first semester was a disaster.I was alone staying in bed for long times .Dreaming of us together in one place.But I starred to get over this .Making new friends and joining activities .If you like we can talk in whats up just send me your number. wish all the best for you

Aw that sucks doc :( it is such a shock when it's done out of nowhere.
it's great you started making friends and feeling better.

I dont think he has problem with you. I think he has problem with the idea of marriage/commitment. Its sounds like he freaked out (chickened out?)
I do NOT think after 4-5 years of dating, asking about future together is stupid. I think its natural given that you were thinking of marriage and building a family with your life partner. You guys have been together for 4- 5 years and its natural to question and wonder about next stage of the relationship.
I read your first post and I couldnt help but feel he is like easily mood swinging unstable teenage boy and you are spoiling him (too much pampering). Being nice to each other is great but Im getting the feeling that you are the only one who is nurturing the relationship (trying to make it work) and he is just there receiving.
I think it was good thing that you questioned him about Future together. Its better to see their bad side (In this case, his unstability, immaturity) Before the marriage than After the marriage (with kids) which could have ended in divorce.
You need to treat others at the same eye level as you. You are treating them like someone who is above you. Its ok when that other person does the same to you too but I do not feel that that is the case here.
The person who you marry is the person who will be the father to your kids. You want someone more mature, more stable than that for sure. At least (Minimum requirement), being able to take care of himself .... but in this case, it seems you are taking care of him. that not the relationship between adult-adult, its like kid-carer.
About being nice and helping others, do it only if you have extra resources at your disposal (like time, energy, money etc,,,) Dont go bending your back for others. We are all here to find happiness and if you forcefully try to be nice to other when you dont feel well yourself, even though you are doing something good, you wont feel happy doing it.
I know you have been with someone for long time and this sudden change will definitely make you feel lonely but dont go out looking for someone with this kind of attitude. Ppl tends to get themselves into even worse relationship as they desperately try to erase the feeling of loneliness through someone else. Mind unable to think clearly and rationally from all the emotions.

Thanks.
I shall continue on and keep trying.
I had thought we were at a similar level. Though yes, his way was usually at the forefront.
But then again I thought a lot of things that turned out rubbish