You know what you want and what you need. Stick with it. Be assertive about it. If he's your friend, he'll respect and understand that. If he keeps flirting, then you need some distance from him. Friends are suppose to understand you not make things complicated. Wish you the best.

thanks for the advice, you guys. I was actually tossing it over in my mind that I should spend less time with him and then you all wrote it here. :)

I've been trying to hang out with some other friends of mine instead, in fact I even told him about some plans we (the other friends and I) had for a movie and he got a bit jealous. that was a red flag for me (and awkward). why would he be jealous of my friends? HE is also one of my friends.
but it made me realize just how attention-starved he really is. I think that's possibly why he is flirting with me?

either way, i have to put my foot down about this. if he needs more friends and needs more attention, maybe I can introduce him to more people. or maybe we can hang out in a group setting, not just the 2 of us?

i just thought this over again.... if he IS attn starved, then why did turn other girls down?

man.... I'm lost.....

ok it's gonna come down to this, i'm gonna end up spending less time with him and when we do hang out, there's gonna be other friends there. this is a good idea, right?

except when we go shooting. i"m not sure my other friends like to shoot.

but i'm pretty sure he won't hit on me while i got a gun loaded LMAO

I dated the first year after my breakup. The first half dozen guys all, at some point expressed an interest in some kind of intimacy, either physical or emotional that I realized over and over again I did not want -- at all. The last guy was a relaxed and serene Buddhist guy who didn't push, didn't try to seduce, didn't do anything except hang out when I invited him to. I felt absolutely zero pressure. He was incredibly respectful and sensitive to my need to feel free, unthreatened and in control.

That all sounds great right? yeah -- except he ended up getting hurt, because he was patient , and waited for when I would have felt healed enough to invite him to become more intimate...and that moment never came. He was incredibly generous with his patience and I turned out to be the investment that didn't pay off for him, and he was worthy of so much more than I was able to offer.

So I have regret over that, that I let him show up and wait, when really, in my gut, I think I knew the whole time he had very little hope of ever getting more than the very little I was able to give.

I don't know if that helps you or not.

It's not always about us, being aware of our limitations, as well as our needs is so important in not hurting other people.

You are a hot girl that doesn't need a man= exactly what turns him on. He is flirting with you, cause he is enjoying the pursuit. Maybe he thinks he can get some action with no strings attached, as he knows you are so not looking for a relationship.
Way to turn him off? Tell him you are thinking of having babies.
It's delicate, you want to keep the friendship. Just laugh him off, that will hurt his ego a bit.
However, if you get curious and want to take it further, just remember that it's just an adventure.

I think it is a good idea to hang with him in a group setting. Maybe he got upset cus you have been hanging out with him, and now are hanging with other friends and not inviting him. it could be that simple. but still, a bit odd, for him to get mad. I mean, if he was really just wanting to be friends he could have said "hey can I go?"

As for not engaging or going with other "girls", well, is that really true? How would you even know there were other girls pursuing him.

Either way, if you aren't in to him or starting something with someone now, your idea of just hanging with others is probably a good idea if you hang with him at all.

Good luck

Ps. I am sure, with a loaded gun, he will watch his step and your trigger finger.. :)

thanks for sharing, Joy.... I have thought about what you said.
but it doesn't change my position for several reasons..... one of them being that he lives with his ex-fiance. I don't want any part of that "baggage" in my life. he and i talked about this topic just the other day and i expressed my concerns about it, especially since he and the ex still have drama between them. after the hellish drama that me and MY ex went through, there's no way in hell I want to be sucked into all "their" drama. NOPE. can't do it. don't have the energy.

if this dude wants a clean start with ANYBODY, he needs to either move or ask her to move. there's just too much history between em.

lol Wanderer, a lil late for the "I want babies" line.... he already knows i'm not having kids. already told him some time ago i'll be asking to get my tubes tied. he's a good friend of mine, how was i supposed to know he was gonna end up pursuing me? shit.

CTBear, you're right, the "other girls" could have been something he was saying just to get my attention or see if I would get jealous? he is a handsome guy, though. so, girls *could* be flirting with him. lol. i wish he did make more friends.... maybe then he wouldn't yak my ear off as much. seriously, my attention span is only like 20 secs. but his stories will go on and on to the point i don't even know what the hell he is talking about anymore. I don't even know how to tell him this every time.
whatever happened to keep it short and simple?

It's possible he just enjoys flirting for flirting's sake.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, tell him to stop.

If you're ok with the firting, but this will go no further type attention, enjoy it. Sometimes that all someone really wants after a breakup. (And it's sounds like you're Both just through that...)

And like the other's have said, I'd tread carefully on taking it any further...

flirting for the sake of flirting, this is possible....
i have told him i don't feel like having any flirting in my life at the moment. just friendship. he said he was cool with that and didn't want me to be uncomfortable. but then the following week he started flirting again.

y'all have given me a lot to think about.....
i"m still thinking things over. wish i had all the answers.
thanks so much for helping me so far.

Trust your INTUITION.