Hello Ise,

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, being at ground zero is tough, and you may not be able to get your barring's, for now. You've come to the right place, while I may not have a snappy, quick solution, please be aware that there are many on this site that are experienced and knowledgeable to offer advice and how to proceed.

My own experience has taught me to take small steps and deep breaths.

all I can say for now, is hugs. Please keep posting.

I know there is a good supportive group here. I'm sorry that this happened. There are programs for houses and options in divorce proceedings. I have a family member who worked out a deal paying about 1/3 of what was required in mortgage and taxes and keeping his house-, rules and procedures change so I'm not saying you can get the same but there are alternatives.

Absolutely.. I agree with all of the above.

I've been in your shoes.. lost my husband, my job and my home.. a fresh start. But before you can start you must finish. 38 years is in your favor. Please speak with a lawyer, your cheating ex may feel he has the freedom to move on without consequences.. and he is wrong.

You are protected in many ways because you were married.. take your anger and find out about your rights. Once things move forward and you are truly free of him.. I promise you will feel better. You have been given the blessing of a new life! A gift of freedom to have your own friends, to develop relationships without compromise.. its hard to see the silver lining when your feeling buried in clouds.. but I promise you. A man who jumps from one bed to another.. is not a man worthy of you. - be gentle with yourself, YOU are the one who deserves your love. You are worth fighting for,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It may seem there is no light at the end of the tunnel but there will be a way forward for you. Have you had a frank discussion with your husband about how this came about? It's a terrible loss and you are going through a bereavement of 38 years marriage which is so painful. I agree with other people on this thread that getting some legal advice is needed. You DO have rights. citizens advice (CAB) can give you some free legal advice about divorce and finance. Approach your local MIND for some counselling and also things you can join in your local area to meet people and do things that get you out.

I don't know how old you are but I would say it is never too late to start again and meet someone else in the future. My own grandma did this when she was in her 70s and so has my own mum. (following divorce). This is evidence that anything is possible. I do understand a little of how you feel, I am going through divorce now at the age of 40 and the future feels impossible, but I know it will get easier in time....be kind to yourself and please get some advice from CAB and/or a lawyer. Some offer free legal aid or a free one off consultation.
Hugs and best wishes

My heart goes out to you. This happened to me 7 years ago and I spent a lot of time on this site. It's what helped me make it through. I too had been married for a long time. moved away to be with my husband and pretty much left everything behind. He had a new woman in the works before he even told me he was unhappy. I was 59 when this happened, and felt that my life was over. But eventually I felt better. It has been a struggle but at least I am looking after myself and appreciating who I am. I have always found my self-worth through a man. It took me many years to discover this is not healthy! Please feel free to reach out to me if you ever need a friend. You are in the right place for support! Hugs!