Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
i just got out of a 3 year relationship about a month ago. he was taking advantage of me, he was verbally abusing me and he was emotionally abusing me. i feel like i've wasted 3 years of life with this guy. i just need to work on myself for a while before i go into a new relationship. there is a guy that wants to be with me but i keep pushing him away because i'm afraid that i'm going to get hurt again. he tells me that he's not going anywhere and he'll wait for me and give me as long as i need (time wise) to get over this relationship and finally move on.
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Hi. This is my first post. I'm here because my husband is an addict and it's having a negative impact on our marriage and my emotional and mental well being. He's an alcoholic who is also addicted to pornography and video gaming. He spends every moment that he isn't at work or sleeping drinking beer, playing his video games, and looking at porn. He's completely pushed me out of his life. We don't...
As for 3 years wasted...it may feel that way but you did learn what you didn't want. Everything can be a learning experience.
You didn’t,
Hats off to you
I stayed in one much much much longer
You are brilliant and badass for not being that girl!
As for wasting 3 years of your life....well I would turn the tables and suggest that none of it has been wasted - it was all getting you to the point where you came to the realization that your self worth is higher than being stuck in an abusive demeaning relationship that was siphoning your self esteem. That, I'll bet, is a mistake you won't make again.
When i was much younger I taught at a very prestigious design school for a couple of years. I taught first year design studio - which I loved because the energy and sincerity was so pure. On several occasions I had students approach me and ask for a conference to "request permission" to switch their majors away from design and into science or business or whatever (I use that very loosely, but these were kids who trusted my feedback as I was scarcely 10 years older than them and more approachable than some of the old farts). The conversation always included some apology from the student about wasting a year or two of their life.
My response was always this....If you have spent this last year realizing that you don't want to be an architect when you are 40 or 50 years old, someday you will look back and realize this has been the most valuable year or two you ever had. There was always a huge look of disbelief and relief when I shared that. 25 years later, I am still in touch with a few of those "kids."
So Christina, I say take that remorse and regret and reframe it as "the path not taken" (either any further, or for the rest of your life). Being young is not a race, there is plenty of time to take risks and make mistakes. As long as you can learn from them, those risks and mistakes are like investments that pay big returns.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
may the force be with you.