Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,010 Members

100,360 Posts

1 Online

aaronscandy89 07/08/2012

I broke up with my boyfriend of two years about three weeks ago, and I still feel like I made a mistake. The reason I left his was because over the past two years I lost myself and became part of a couple and I needed to be single again to be able to find who I was again. Everyone of my friends has been very supportive, telling me it is the best for me. I know that I should believe them, but I feel like part of me is now missing. Thinking back to the two years that I was with him, he had control over my whole life, what friends I could see, if I could work extra hours, if I could go see my family, as well as when I could leave my house. I know he controlled me, but he never once put a hand on me, which I am thankful for. But I also know that controlling someone is also a form of abuse, he would not let me live my own life. How do I start to feel whole again, and get past this?

deleted_user 07/08/2012

23 is a great age to start making an independent life. you will feel more and more "whole" as you build a brand new life your own way.

good luck and have fun with it. :)

deleted_user 07/08/2012

That feeling of suffocating or losing yourself for the other person would not get better. It would only get worse. And the resentments would build.

Just because we may be in an "OK" relationship, where me don't necessarily DISLIKE the person, doesn't mean it the right person or right time for us.

When you feel like this, ask yourself if you got back together, how long would it take before you felt the same way again. Like getting out of it and living your own life??? You'dd be back in the same pattern, right??? Is that what you want???

deleted_user 07/08/2012

The decision you make now could save you years of grief. I'd really think long and hard about giving in to some passing loneliness. Pushing through that now could save you YEARS of misery.

lance139169 07/08/2012

Don't overlook a huge positive here which is that you weren't married. You're at the developmental age where you should be learning what you want and don't want in life. You're going through a valuable learning stage that should help you find what you're looking for.

Another positive unintended consequence is that your ex-boyfriend should learn a lesson about how NOT to treat someone, and it will save him from himself in the future.

aaronscandy89 07/08/2012

Thank you guys, You have given me a lot to think about, there are many times when I am home alone and feel very lonely, then I either get on the computer and come on here, or grab my book and get lost in it. I know I cant hide from my thoughts and feelings, but for now, its the only way I can cope. It also dose not help that I suffer from depression as well :\

deleted_user 07/08/2012

I have experienced the same thing and made the mistake twice. You can still love someone who tries to control your life. It is so hard to cope with and get over. There may be hope for you to get back together with this boyfriend in the future. In the mean time, take care of YOU! Because you don't need a man to be happy no matter what the case.

aaronscandy89 07/08/2012

Thank you, you just brought a smile to my face :)

Join the Conversation