Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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3 months and this crap starts now

sossie
sossie
It has been almost three months since I moved out. Today I am emotional about it. I haven't really had many emotions other than a sense of relief that I am not in that situation any more.

I had to pawn my wedding rings back in March to pay a bill while I was still with him. I had actually forgotten about it because I hadn't wore them in so long it wasn't unnatural for them not to be on my finger. I got a message today that the pawn loan defaults on the 22nd. It made me sad.

I don't know what to do. Should I let the pawn default and move on or should I go get them? Do I really want to hold on to them?

It is making me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I have been doing so well but right now I feel like I have been sucker punched.

Dare I say I even kind of sort of miss him...Not enough to call him or even to go see him and I don't even think it is him I miss. I think it is having someone to call and talk too and share my days with.

I have my friends and my wonderful family but its not the same as having a husband. Even though I know I am way better off with out him today I hurt.

Today is the first day I have cried over him in weeks....

I just need a hug.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I put my engagement ring in the church donation box. Gave a silent sob as I placed it there.

((sossie)) I understand. Big gulp.
MettaBhavana
MettaBhavana
@Trisha: Thanks a lot for the tip! Will hold on to the marriage certificate just in case.
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
are you going to go get the rings?
sossie
sossie
In all honesty I haven't decided. I have until the 22nd to retrieve or pay on the pawn. I just don't know yet...part of me wants to have them only to pull the diamonds and make a different piece out of it and part of me wants them go disappear..
MsViv
MsViv
Sossie, you've let the rings go already.. It you take them back, at one point you will probably go through the letting go of them again.. Do you think you want to do that?

I still have my engagement ring (somewhere) it will be emotional for me to sell it because I love the ring very much. I used to love to look at how it sparkled on my finger, but I will never wear it again. I don't have an emotional attachment to the Ex, just to the ring.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Trust yourself. I was in a verbally abusive relationship for years and always ignored that little voice in my head telling me it wasn't right. You already know and said that he's no good for you. I know it's hard. I still miss my ex. We were together for 7 years and broke up almost a year ago. These things take time. It's normal and human to feel like this. I think about calling my ex all the time but I don't because he wasn't good for me...he killed my spirit and crushed me from the inside out....made me feel worthless. I've finally figured out that I deserve better and that true love isn't like that. Don't settle and trust the person that made the right decision several months ago. That's what my therapist says...trust the person that made the right decision months ago. You have obviously thought a lot about this and your decision wasn't made lightly. Trust yourself and your heart.