My wife is an alcoholic and suffers from Rheumatoid arthritis, and I think depression.

She lost her job 20 years ago, she became a stay at home mom and did good, but when we started having financial problems, she wouldn't help, she smokes and drinks a lot and that pretty much costs alot and is a big turn off to me. I started going to alanon, and we started drifting apart. I consider myself superman making good money, taking good care of the kids and do way more than my share of household chores. I've been to counseling and its all about self care, I'm good at that, but my wife could care less about my needs. We rarely have sex, like once a year if shes drinking and because i always plan a trip away on our anniversary. We rarely sleep together because she snores real bad and i hate the smell of beer and smoke. I've approached her on drinking, smoking, snoring, but she does not seem to care.

I stayed together too long, mainly for the kids, and i couldnt afford the stress or lawyers and alimony.

We tried counseling and she felt it was a waste of time. We started again last month, but she is clueless and unwilling to change, and i'm sooo done, i just want someone to help me  stay strong and leave respectfully, maybe just separate at first.