I think as soon as you can be indifferent, or even happy for your ex, you're emotionally purged enough to date. If you can still mount disdain, or malice, or hatred for your ex, you really aren't done with that relationship yet, no matter how much time has passed.

your profile says "So ready for happiness to enter my life." personally, i would fill my life up with happiness, i.e. friends, hobbies, home life, career, etc - first before going out and trying to find someone to date. then, when you eventually do look for someone to date, look for a woman who has spent a lot of time putting pleasant things into her life at this same time that you have been doing it.

women might come and go all through your life. but, if we have solid, good lives; if they leave, it doesn't hit us as hard.

Yeah, you really can't put a stopwatch on it. I think that after you know that you have been through all of the steps of grief for your deceased marriage, I mean completely through them, you're ready.

Go slow. Be aware of the fact that you may be vulnerable to your own emotions.

One never really knows when it is the right time for anything. I believe it will come along when your least expecting it if it is right. Do you believe that you are ready and able to be honest and devote your time equally with out any expectation only simply to enjoy the time. If so then maybe you are ready. I gave myself a long time to heal and enjoy myself before I gave my time to someone else and then there he was. Good luck to you.

I would say when you don't think about your ex anymore. If you're still spending time thinking about them, then you're not over it yet. Fill your life up with happy things, and then go look for someone to share that happiness with.

What works for one person doesn't for another, if you feel like going out then why not do it? Going on a date doesn't mean you are planning your next wedding. Your first date might not lead to anything or it could turn into a great friendship or even a relationship- just go into it with zero expectations and zero strings attached. Go out to a movie just to enjoy a movie or for coffee or whatever. I think people are too serious sometimes and think too far into the future instead of just enjoying the moment.

I don't think there is a set time. It really is different for everyone. I didn't truly feel ready to date until recently, and it's been almost 2 years since my divorce, three since my separation. I have "seen" other guys, but it was never something I wanted to turn into anything bigger.

I think when you feel ready emotionally...when you no longer have baggage or a cross to bear with your X...then you can. It's hard because you don't want to bring past BS into a current relationship.

So many different answers.
For example, my exhusband would say its never too soon - because he started dating while we were married.

For me, I am just getting around to liking myself again, flirting again, rebuilding my foundation again - and its been 2 years for me. Its almost surreal to even be interested in someone else. Almost. :) Its just this weird loyalty I have to my exhusband.

Do what feels best for you.

xoxo

I can relate! I have that same "loyalty." I really want it to go away, but I know it will take time. I just don't think personally that it is a good idea to start dating while still getting over an ex because then that baggage is brought in, and it's really not fair to the person you are dating. They have feelings too.

rudy

when do you think you'll know when YOU are ready?

Ya know what sucks for me? Some days I feel like I am or want to, and other days I don't. Probably means I would drive a woman crazy, but in reality, I am more looking for friends, maybe even single female friends (since those tend to evaporate justly when married), just to have a female point-of-view when needed, or maybe a date for formal parties or whatever when they come up.

LMG

thats me too, the desire comes and goes, but it stays longer everytime so I figure I'm on my way to that point

luvmygirl - What you wrote couldn't be more like I feel, but haven't been able to identify and put into words.

I've only dated one woman since my divorce and there were times when it was enjoyable, but more often times when it was a hassle.

No doubt that I tried to get involved with someone way too early.

Depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking to go out and just have a good time with a friend, don't wait. If you are looking for a serious relationship, what Dump3d said.

Really, too many people are LOOKING for a serious relationship, anyway, rather than developing a lot of friendships and just letting things progress naturally.

Rudy, overjoyed to hear you asking about dating again - great step forward and leaving your ex behind! You've heard the range of answers - me, I'd take it slowly - casual freindships, the odd flirtation. It really wouldn't be fair to the woman you start dating now, when you've still got a lot to get over with your ex. But I love that you're thinking about it!