Sort of the same scenario happened to me. My wife blindsided me. One week we are DisneyWorld having a wonderful time as a family. The next week she states her unhappiness and moves out. You would think after 12 years of marriage that my wife could have fought for our marriage if she was that unhappy. I had no idea she was that unhappy. Her friends knew more about our relationship than I did because she didn't like communicating with me. The thing is that I loved my wife with all my heart, wanted to communicate with her, wanted to be passionate with her, wanted to be her best friend and confidant. I would have done anything for her and did anything to try to save our marriage. But she didn't give me the chance. Didn't give us or the kids a chance. Just made the decision for all of us. I guess I can understand falling out of love with someone. It hurts. I guess I felt like I deserved more than just getting dumped. My guess is that for years she wasn't in love with me, but acting like she was. I feel like the biggest chump in the world. Why would someone act fake? Why would you do everything in your power to try to save the marriage at the point where you felt unhappy. I adored her. Now I feel like she is some lady that I don't know. I feel like my wife died and this other woman came down from space and took her place. Perhaps the woman I thought I had was just a figmant of my imagination. However, I think about her all the time and miss her with all my heart. I feel like a widow even though I got dumped. I wish there was a memorial site I can bring flowers to in remembrance of the wife I once had. I loved her very much. This new lady is a complete nightmare. I don't even know who she is. She is like an alien to me. I would think after 12 years of marriage there would have to be some form of moral justice. I feel like I deserve more than being dumped as if we were just going out for a couple of months. The lack of sensitivity of the whole thing blows my mind.

Do yourself a favor and don't think about ending yourself. Work on getting over her because she isn't worth it. You deserve better than someone who would be a snake behind your back. Feel lucky that you don't have to be with someone who doesn't care enough about you to be completely honest with you and have integrity and values. Feel lucky you don't have to be with a woman like that anymore.

gentlemen, i wish that i could say that only women do what has been done to you. but, men are just as bad. there's just one hell of a lot of people who buy into the romanticism of romantic love as portrayed in movies and fairy tales. those kind of people will plow through lots of people in their lifetimes.

in other words, despite what your women have told you and conned you into feeling, it was not you. it is a problem within them. they might take years before they realize that - if ever.

it's pretty bad when a man can take his whole family to Disney World and get the bomb dropped next week. she sounds like a first class piece of work. i wonder how she is going to explain that to her next man. he will probably roll on the floor laughing at her.

it wasn't your job to be their fantasy men. your jobs were to love them as best that you knew how and it sounds like you both did fairly good at it.

it just sucks. feel free to post and comment any time. it will take a while to feel half way level again.

That is exactly how I felt at one time and I always blame the American society.

I always felt that if my wife grew up somewhere else besides America, that we would be ok.

Unfortunately, she grew up in America and was taught to be selfish and greedy.

But look on the bright side, you'll be able to go out with non-American women from now on. I married an Asian women who grew up in Asia. She is wonderful.

I know that you know exactly what I'm going through, my wife has become a total stranger to me. In February I found there was a convention that I wanted to attend which was being held in the same town as my best friend, well she bought me the tickets for that convention as an anniversary gift the following month. Well a couple weeks ago after surprising me I said to myself I wasn't going to go because I was so down and hurt, after taking the time to think I said screw it I need to get out of town and clear my head, visiting my best friend and family was great because my best friend has been in my life for 14 years and is like family to me so the get away helped a bit. Besides the point, since my wife bought my tickets she knew the dates I'd be gone, low and behold my surprise when I go into our bedroom she ransacked our home and took about 75% of her clothes, left all of my stepsons stuff, he's out of town with grandma for the summer while this is happening. What a cowardly way to do things, a total stranger to me. Also before surprising me only a couple days before had she texted me that she loved me, I recieved a couple text messages out of the blue prior of her saying "i Love you" without me saying it first, so I ask myself was it an act? So a couple days ago I confronted her to try to put all our cards out on the table and I ask her about that and she says she was just going through the motions, had me saying WTF!!! During one emotional conflict she cried to me telling me she loved me and that she didn't get into this marriage to quit so easily, when I asked her about that she said she was putting on an act, again WTF!!! Why are women so cruel, don't get me wrong I still love my wife but she's hurting me so much, the same night I confronted her I tried hugging her and she was pushing me away and the following day on her facebook she's telling a friend that I tried to hit her, WTF! I was raised to never lift my hand to a woman and I've always told her that I would never do that, but the following day she said she was scared to meet me and that I've changed, wow!

Yea, women... Always crying abuse...

You give them an ugly face and it's abuse.
You slap them silly because they deserved it and it's abuse.

No... It's not. It's called her being a biatch!

Oh Galvie you need to take the label off of American Women! I know you had a bad experience with an American woman and now you have a good experience with an Asian woman and I am happy for you but not all American women are material bitches. Not all American women are out to hurt men or use them. I do admit some are but I am not one of them and i am an American woman who just wanted to love someone and be loved back. I take care of myself financially and raised my son on my own physically and financially and the only reason I wanted to be with a man was to have a best friend, a companion, someone to share life with, someone to love and care for. Am i bad because I am an American woman? I never took anything from my sons father, not even child support for many many years. I just tried to be happy and give my son a happy life and my son turned out pretty damn good thanks to no body but me! My ex (who wants to be with me again!) ?? he is from Mexico originally and I believe our clashes are because he has the macho man in control image to uphold and I am a strong independent woman who doesn't need him for that. Probably why it never works. i love him deeply and I hurt because we are not together now but I did not take anything of his. in fact I cant get him to get his stuff out of here!!! I have to take care of it, one of his things is a dog that I have had to give shots, bathe, and feed for 2 years now!! If me being an American woman is a bad thing, well I think you are generalizing which is as bad as racial profiling. It's a form or prejudice that i think you should find another way to categorize in a less offensive way or a way that does not include a whole population of people who are different. What do you think??

My ex-wife is from China but... since she grew up in America, well, she says she is American and free to do whatever she wants.

That's true, she is free to do whatever she wants. It can't be racial profiling when "American" is not a race. (and if you consider American a race, then it wouldn't apply to you unless you are part of a tribe)

Ok, how about, greedy selfish Americans? lol

I so relate to this topic. The one thing I would say is that with a few months of reflection after this, you will see that the signs were there. I can now see tons of signs that things were wrong, I just didn't want to believe them.

Bottom line for me: I agree with others. I thought for months that I was "less than", worthless, and unlovable. How could this person I have been married to for 20 years do this to ME? You know what though? Its NOT me. Its her. She has the issues and has had the issues for years.

Her Mom was married to her dad, had three kids, cheated on him that led to a divorce. She was left with her dad when she was 6. Abandoned by her mom.

We have 3 kids. She cheated on me and then asked for a divorce. You don't think her history was a factor? Uh, yeah. I do think so.

I know its hard, but don't get too down on yourself. Take care of yourself. You will recover. It will take time.

And hopefully we'll all find the people we were mean't to be with. According to Galvatron, we all need to go to Vancouver or Toronto! :)

If animals could talk to us, they would say that love is for suckers.

The truth of the matter is, love will end at some point and it will crush you. Sometimes, it crushes the other person. The only thing we can hope for is that we both die before that love does.

Love doesn't have to end. My mother has been dead 11yrs now. I still love her the same.

I'm very sorry you're hurting.

My ex did the same sort of thing. We did everything together; I built my life around him and his interests, putting aside my own. How does he convey his unhappiness? Not by telling me or just leaving, nope. He had multiple affairs, two I knew about, many others I didn't.

I divorced him after the second affair and was rebuilding my life when he decided to call me in Sept. 2010, nearly a year and half after our divorce and tell me he had multiple affairs all during our marriage. Only a sick fuck would jam the knife in and then later twist it.

I know you are hurting terribly right now. Many of us know the devastating pain. But please, do not entertain thoughts of suicide. You are going to get past this and will soon see that there is a good life after divorce.

Keep talking to us here. We will walk the journey with you.

Sending healing hugs.