Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I haven't been on here in months. Quite frankly, I thought things were going great and that I was fine, that my marrieage was fine. Well, life never plays fair now does she??
How did we get here again old friend? I stuck through another 3 months only to be betrayed in May, then once again last night. I cant even begin to describe the depth of emotion I feel right now. Im sad, angry, frightened, and so bitter. All I can think about is how this worm of a man I married doesnt love me, nor does he care about the effect he is having on my life and the lives of our children. Break up the home, force me and my children to move to a cheap apartment, force us to lose everything we have worked for and held dear for a 21 year old girl hes never even met. Thats the stinger right therehes never even met her, and yet her feelings and emotions take precedent over mine and our childrens.
He is the most evil person I know. The only reason he is doing this is because of my weight; which, lets be honest, Im not happy with either, but I thought I had someone who loved me for me. I can understand why he feels the way he does, what I cant understand is why he didnt even try. He made no effort to be a good man, a good father.
One of the big red flags that told me he was messing around again was his lack of interaction with our children. And it makes me hate him. I can understand pulling away from me, but to not acknowledge your kids? He doesnt even know the names of their teachers, what they have for lunch, what their favorite books are, who their friends are. He is an island and he has created that island of his own doing. I just dont understand how a man could not care about his kids or about their hearts. Who the fuck did I marry?
How did we get here again old friend? I stuck through another 3 months only to be betrayed in May, then once again last night. I cant even begin to describe the depth of emotion I feel right now. Im sad, angry, frightened, and so bitter. All I can think about is how this worm of a man I married doesnt love me, nor does he care about the effect he is having on my life and the lives of our children. Break up the home, force me and my children to move to a cheap apartment, force us to lose everything we have worked for and held dear for a 21 year old girl hes never even met. Thats the stinger right therehes never even met her, and yet her feelings and emotions take precedent over mine and our childrens.
He is the most evil person I know. The only reason he is doing this is because of my weight; which, lets be honest, Im not happy with either, but I thought I had someone who loved me for me. I can understand why he feels the way he does, what I cant understand is why he didnt even try. He made no effort to be a good man, a good father.
One of the big red flags that told me he was messing around again was his lack of interaction with our children. And it makes me hate him. I can understand pulling away from me, but to not acknowledge your kids? He doesnt even know the names of their teachers, what they have for lunch, what their favorite books are, who their friends are. He is an island and he has created that island of his own doing. I just dont understand how a man could not care about his kids or about their hearts. Who the fuck did I marry?
I agree the worse part is the damage they do to the children and all for what??? A piece of @ss?
Stay Strong!!
You cannot make him be a good father. I think that is the tough part for me, too. I cannot understand how they go through life and as long as their needs are met, life is great. You cannot make the relationship for him and the kids. Just give them the support and love they need. It does pay off. I am starting to see it as they get older.
Protect yourself and the kids. You don't want to be someone's seconds when you deserve it all. Hugs!
How have you handled the issues concerning your ex with your children? I literally told him that the children would stay with me and he shrugged it off as "no big deal." I don't underatnd how he could walk away. I could never leave my children.
I asked him to go to our daughters open house with her tonight because she would eally like him to meet her teacher, and he said "that's not really my thing." Just like that... also said he had plans so he wouldn't be able to see the kids. AAAGGGGHHHH!! I'm going to lose it...
I guess he would think your weight may be a good excuse for him, but I don't think so. I bet he would have cheated anyway, even if you were skinny.
Unfortunately, I looked at my husband's father and Mother and I could see all the reasons my husband wanted to act the way he did around all kids. His father just didn't like little kids at all. It is a really sad situation if it gets past down from parents to kids. The men can't change because they never had fathers that played with them or took time with them or went to their school with them.
He missed our son's kindergarten graduation but, at least to make it fair ( I say with sarcasm) the rock star missed my ex step daughter's eighth grade ceremony as well.
My X doesn't "do" field trips, etc. He also couldn't tell you his son's fave books, movies, etc. He doesn't know one friend past the couple my X brings him around because he's friends with his parents.
My X is 100 percent comfortable being bare minimum Dad.
Sometimes, I do get hung up on "How the hell isn't our son more important to you???" But, the reality is, and I had blinders on to it...FAMILY isn't important to him. People much passed himself aren't important to him. He is self-centered and shallow. He likes the pats on the back for being a good buddy, but fails where it counts.
I am used to my X thinking school stuff is stupid. As long as he doesn't screw my kid's schooling up, etc..then I can deal. Education has always been more of a big deal to me anyway, so my way of thinking is, maybe BOTH of us don't see the impact, but at least my son has one parent who is there consistently, showing up at school, and making HIS life important.
The exes will figure out what they missed out on when the kids grow up and can figure out for themselves which parents was more of a parent.
Hang in there.
It sounds like he is exhibiting his true self. A piece of ass is more important than the children. He needs to leave your life. He is showing you where his priorities are.