Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Its the 2 year anniversary of the day my ex told me we needed to try a trial "separation". I found her with her boyfriend in our house 2 weeks later.
I wrote my ex a long email that I probably (ok no probably about it) should not have sent.
On a good note its been a long time since ive done that, so i must be getting better.
I find myself 2 years down the road a lot less further along then I thought I would be. My life is chaotic and a CONSTANT struggle. The change of going from a life of security and companionship, to a life of lonliness, and constant worry about geting through every day, financially and physically has been very draining.
The few friends i have and family i talk to think I am 100% recovered and moving on with my life. They have no idea about the sadness and suffering I still feel most days.
I dont spend much time thinking about the past, or dwelling on my struggles. I do go to work every day and I try to live a normal existence.
I keep believing things will get better soon. They always did in the past when I was down. But honestly im starting to wonder if it will ever be any different than it is now.
Im not sure I can endure 20 or 30 more years of "just getting by".
Oh well....a bit gloomy this morning with the anniversary and all.
I wrote my ex a long email that I probably (ok no probably about it) should not have sent.
On a good note its been a long time since ive done that, so i must be getting better.
I find myself 2 years down the road a lot less further along then I thought I would be. My life is chaotic and a CONSTANT struggle. The change of going from a life of security and companionship, to a life of lonliness, and constant worry about geting through every day, financially and physically has been very draining.
The few friends i have and family i talk to think I am 100% recovered and moving on with my life. They have no idea about the sadness and suffering I still feel most days.
I dont spend much time thinking about the past, or dwelling on my struggles. I do go to work every day and I try to live a normal existence.
I keep believing things will get better soon. They always did in the past when I was down. But honestly im starting to wonder if it will ever be any different than it is now.
Im not sure I can endure 20 or 30 more years of "just getting by".
Oh well....a bit gloomy this morning with the anniversary and all.
I am glad that you did not send the letter. We often think that they will react in a different way than they have, and sometimes we are again disappointed. Big hugs for a better tomorrow.. Kimmee
Maybe getting a pet can help you too.
It hasn't been anywhere near 2 years yet, but I wonder due to my age, if I'm going to heal up as fast as I used to.
I've started journaling, because I find it very hard to talk about my feelings. They're really just to painful to speak out loud.
Maybe this method of therapy will help you too?
I don't think you'll go through this for 20 or 30 more years though. They say it takes almost 1/2 the time we were with our X to get over it, and I chose to believe that :O)
As im older now, and see middle age only 11 years away, I dont feel that sense of optimism anymore. Its more a sense of dread and wonder. Dread over the possibility of it being like this for the rest of my life...Wonder of how it ever got to this point....
As for approaching middle age, I'm there and completely enjoying my new life!
Hugs to you.
Lynne
The only question I have is have you set any expectations or goals for yourself? In other words, what are you aiming at on a daily/weekly/monthly basis?
Your ex did a horrible act of betrayal and aggression to you by having her affair. That was despicable. But, she did far more damage to herself by doing so than to you. That was her problem though. It had nothing to do with you. Her behavior was an indication of her character - not yours.
Stand back and look at your job, your friends, your family, your home, and your daily life. Look at those things that are dragging you down and pitch them!
Once your life feels wondrously simple and easy, start to build on that until it is absolutely brimming with joy.
I know this sounds simplistic and easier said than done. But, the reality is that we create most of our drama ourselves because, culturally, we have been taught that life is hard and complex.
Life can be a piece of cake, our hearts can be be light as feathers, and we really can have lives full of joy if we would just allow them to be.
Read, observe others' lifestyles that you admire, use your own creativity, use your common sense. Make your life one to really be proud of.
This is our only shot at this. These are things we all have to do and should want to do if we know what is good for us.
Good luck and best wishes. I apologize for preaching but just know that I care and want you to have the life that you deserve.