Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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ripped_my_heartout 12/31/2016

well here I am. It's been 9 weeks now and every day is still a struggle. I will say I am a little better. I was in a very dark place for the first 3 weeks. I'm really trying and pushing myself to get out, exercise and eat right. Trying to feel better but nights are the toughest for me. Loneliness sets in at night. It would be nice to sleep without dreaming of her. My daughter was supposed to spend the day with me. We were going to go swimming at the YMCA this morning but she canceled. She says she may still be over later but now I'm not so sure. I hope she comes over, I was looking forward to spending time with her today. Not looking forward to tonight. It will be the first time alone for New Years. Ex is going out tonight I'm sure she'll be getting her New Years kiss, just not from me. My stomach is in knots. I'm really trying to move forward but 22 years is hard to forget. Seems easy for her, I don't know how she does it. I wish I could be there with my family tonight but I'll be alone. I thought of going to bed early but I know I will not be able to sleep. I hope I can put 2016 behind me and start fresh in 2017. It will be a tough year too I'm sure. All the stuff I have to do. Lawyers, financial, dividing everything up. Its going to be a headache. Not look forward to that but I am looking forward to getting it done and over with. Many late nights ahead of me.

Happy New Years everyone.

I hope we all start to feel better and find our happiness in 2017.

cleigh 12/31/2016

I am not looking at tonight as New Year's Eve. It is just another night. I am renting a couple good comedies, getting some wings or buffalo chicken pizza (or both!) drinking my diet soda and looking at the evening as a chance to say good-bye and good riddance to all that is not good in my life. Do not picture your wife being with someone else. It only tortures you and it will NOT change anything. You are handing over power and control of your life to someone who definitely does not deserve it. I find solace in writing key sentences down and keeping them handy. When I am feeling my stomach get in knots when my mind starts to drift to my ex, I pull out one of my sentences from my journal and I find that it helps me. I need to be reminded that I am worthy of so much more and I will choose to be happy. He has no power over me. Don't let her have power over you!

SBC1238 12/31/2016

Happy New Year to you too. I think we are all in the same boat. This year has been the worst one in my life thus far and I look forward to a new year and a new start. Want to work on me, lose some weight, and then start to out myself out there to meet someone great. My ex husband has forgotten about me, so time to accept that and be happy in my life. <hugs>

radhika 12/31/2016

it is said there is reason behind every thing that happens.sometimes we resist changes fearing failure .life is a surprise. we never know what might happen in future. can you predict future.who knows what you think is a tragedy might turn up to be a blessing later.who knows god might be planning to gift you a loving partner. to get some thing new you need to discard old things.be brave enough to see the major changes that might bring a turning point in your life.develop an attitude to see positive in every thing that happens.lenoire (a member of this forum once told me visualisation of our desires to make wishes come true) instead of wasting all your energy in thinking about negative why dont you think that god will give you a beautiful life trust god. you will be fine. i hope every incident that happens will make you stronger and wiser.good times are ahead.good luck.

Koko 12/31/2016

Happy new year! I will be busy with my kids but as soon as they go back to school and things return to normal the sadness will return. Today is just another Saturday....

CrushedDad 12/31/2016

I'm in a similar situation after 19 years and am half dreading and half looking forward to tonight as a new start. I too think of her with someone else and need to stop like cleigh says above. Took my girls to a movie last night to come home and find she started gutting the house.
We need to release the power they have over us and regain our own power. It's easier said than done and I haven't figured out how but know it needs to be done. We'll make it my friend, one day at a time.

supportgroup999 12/31/2016

This is the sentences that I keep with me at all time.
I hope it useful for you.

"Each time we face fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in doing"

Time heals almost everything, give the time, some time!

Things happen for reasons and it's not in your control!

God has a purpose for your pain, and reason for your struggle and gift for your faithfulness. Don't give up!

ripped_my_heartout 12/31/2016

Thanks all for the postitive replies.
Cleigh- you have a very good idea. I think I will make tonight a movie night! I don't feel like watching any New Years stuff on tv not even the ball drop. I need to do something to get her out of my mind. She has no power over me. I need to look after myself and the kids.
Radhika-thanks for your kind words. Really gives me something to think about. You words are stuck in my mind. It's nice to think that in the future my darkest, painful and most tragic days could actually turn out to be the best for me. Who knows what the future holds but you really gave me something to think about. Thank you!
I found that what we all have in common is our spouses seems to move on quickly and painless while we all struggle with the loss everyday. I believe we are all good people with good hearts and we all deserve better. I think the pain we feel is what makes us human and eventually better people. Thank you all for the support.

basnime 12/31/2016

I agree. We hurt because we loved very deeply. I could not walk away from someone who still loves me. I don't know how their hearts are so cold.

Lonestar 12/31/2016

Happy New a Year to all and hopes of a better life in 2017 for everyone. My first New Years alone as well. I did a big shopping trip yesterday. Bought some healthy food to start the new year off right. For the last few months since he left I've been eating very bad and I'm feeling it. It is giving him power over my health as well as my heart and I have to stop it. So I have Champagne to toast in a new year that I am hoping is so much better than last year. My resolutions are to work at being happy as best I can. It's a long process and things pop up that make you take some steps back all the time. Just keep on swimming. (Disneys Dory reference!)

bluelab97 12/31/2016

This is my first post on here, I have been lurking around for a few months but just now had to courage to sign up. I am also spending my 1st New Years eve without my spouse but spending it with family. I am looking forward to seeing what 2017 brings! I hope being on here will help me continue to move on to the next phase of my life. Happy New Year everyone! ----->Lonestar, I also have some champagne to ring in the New Year, too! :)

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