Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I met my husband when I was 16. We dated for 11years before getting married.
I found out on Christmas Eve he has been having a 3months affair with a woman he met in pub one night.
He lived a secret life for 3months and I can’t believe it. We had such a great friendship and so much in common. We lived a great life with house, cars, 5* holidays etc.
I believed we were so happy and had everything we could ever want.
When I found out on Christmas Eve he had told me few days before he wasn’t happy and felt like he was falling out of love so I was totally shocked as I had no idea where it came from. I searched for answers and promised there was nobody else but after checking his messenger I noticed lots of dirty messengers to eachother.
My initial reaction was shock but i said I forgive you we will work at it.
He really didn’t ever want to work at it though he couldn’t stop communication with the girl.
I can’t believe it as she is the opposite of me. She’s 8 years older, has two children, lives in council house with no money and he had been given her money during the affair as she was skint.
I can’t believe it all and Iv went through all the emotions of hurt, anger, shock etc. He moved out in January as we were arguing like mad and he promised he didn’t have her number but I tracked him and found out he was at her house.
I was devastated as we were trying to work at it but after that I realised he wanted her. He is now moved in with her and spoiling her. He has been using joint money to do this and found out other day I got my months pay and he has wiped the account. I was devastated he could snoop so low.
I am now like a zombie. I can’t believe the person I loved and done everything for could hurt me so much. He’s desperate for money and been looking at houses and expensive cars with her. She has nothing and I lost my dad and have put a lot of my enherance into our future and I’m set to loose so much not only my husband I adored.
I am just struggling every day to think things can be ok.
Any help and support would be appreciated.
Sounds lovely like this is very new for you. So, the first thing to do is look out for yourself. Get a lawyer and get yourself protected. Listen to your lawyer. Take everything you are entitled to. He is not the person you thought he was.
Good luck
My future is so unclear cz of all the stress. There’s time I just want to end it all to take this pain and stress away.
I can’t believe someone you done everything for and loved with all your heart can turn so nasty.
The one piece of financial advice I can give you is to document the money trail. If you can, move the inherited money into your own account. If it's gone, still document where it went. The thing that kept my head above water during my divorce was all of the forensic accounting I did to prove that he wasted a ton of money. It was worthwhile for me in the end, as I was able to get a larger share of a new home he built (larger than the standard 50/50) because I showed where the funds for that house came from (inheritance). You can/should do the same. Your husband is showing that he has no qualms about bleeding you dry. Do your best to protect yourself. I'm sorry that you're hurting emotionally too.