Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
stayed off this site for a few days. My husband stringing me along 'Time will tell' - 'There is always hope' - 'I still think you are a hell of a sexy woman' - rubbing up against me, hugging me from behind, hugging me to him, giving me kisses - giving me hope......
Tells me he is upset that I have not been taking my phone with me. What if he wants to text me? Never mind the fact that he does not text me. So, I took my phone with me to work. Texted him around 4PM. Called and left him a message around 9 PM. Never heard from him.
His mother tells me he left the house at 4PM - says he left his phone at the house. Failed to tell me that he has gotten himself another phone.....
I come home at 3AM from work. Husband is at the house - just got there. I knew then that he had been at the OW's house all day and night.
He tells me he loves us both. I tell him he can't possibly love 2 women. 'Why not?' is his question.
No emotion in him to show that it bothers him that he is cutting my heart out with what he is saying.
I am so hurt and so bitter at this moment that I tell him I am going to make him lose his job. The OW works for him - he is her supervisor. He refuses to stop seeing her, but doesn't want to let me go. Told his mother he is afraid he will realize he made a big mistake. So, he keeps me hanging on to hope, just in case the OW turns out to be something different from what he has expected.
He was in trouble before at his job over this affair. Hasn't stopped them, even though he almost lost his job last time.
He calls me a vindictive c..t - maybe he is right, but at this time I am so destroyed, hurt, angry, bitter, I am very seriously considering going to his job and filing a complaint against both of them. I actually have text messages that show that they have also been carrying on at work.
I know it will make me what he calls me, but I am at an all time low.
Who plays with people this way? Who has total disregard for people they once claimed to love?
Tells me he is upset that I have not been taking my phone with me. What if he wants to text me? Never mind the fact that he does not text me. So, I took my phone with me to work. Texted him around 4PM. Called and left him a message around 9 PM. Never heard from him.
His mother tells me he left the house at 4PM - says he left his phone at the house. Failed to tell me that he has gotten himself another phone.....
I come home at 3AM from work. Husband is at the house - just got there. I knew then that he had been at the OW's house all day and night.
He tells me he loves us both. I tell him he can't possibly love 2 women. 'Why not?' is his question.
No emotion in him to show that it bothers him that he is cutting my heart out with what he is saying.
I am so hurt and so bitter at this moment that I tell him I am going to make him lose his job. The OW works for him - he is her supervisor. He refuses to stop seeing her, but doesn't want to let me go. Told his mother he is afraid he will realize he made a big mistake. So, he keeps me hanging on to hope, just in case the OW turns out to be something different from what he has expected.
He was in trouble before at his job over this affair. Hasn't stopped them, even though he almost lost his job last time.
He calls me a vindictive c..t - maybe he is right, but at this time I am so destroyed, hurt, angry, bitter, I am very seriously considering going to his job and filing a complaint against both of them. I actually have text messages that show that they have also been carrying on at work.
I know it will make me what he calls me, but I am at an all time low.
Who plays with people this way? Who has total disregard for people they once claimed to love?
This nice guy wants what is best for him at the moment
Nice guy, no
I am sorry you are being treated like complete and total crap
"me sleeping with my subordinate isn't so bad; you turning me in for sleeping with her, THAT's really really bad." ummmm, NO. NO. and H*LL NO. he's just trying to make you the bad guy. he wants you to feel bad. so he can have the power. so he can have control. what he did, is doing, is wrong.
you don't deserve any of this. sorry to hear this for you. be strong, respect yourself. no matter what kind of guilt trip he tries to lay on you, remember, he's trying to dump his own guilt onto you. cheaters do it all the time. it doesnt make him correct so don't buy into it. AND, it shows what kind of a person he really is inside.
BIG big hugs and lots of support to you.
Hugs to you and prayers for all of us to heal and be able to move on.
The important thing is to focus on yourself, love yourself and respect yourself. Then, demand respect from others including him.
His behavior sickens me and is sure as hell not respectful to you, his wife. I think @Broken spelled it out quite nicely. Take control of you and don't tolerate abuse. His behavior is nothing short of manipulative and abusive.
While they go and find someone else, fall in love, we are left to figure it all out by ourselves. No wonder it is so easy for them.
Broken, I have not turned him in at work. I wanted to hurt him, like he had hurt me, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I came close, but I just couldn't. I don't want to go through life, thinking that I brought him to his knees - even if he brought me to mine.
He is still very much afraid that I will go to his job. He has applied at another job. I hope he gets it. I don't want him to walk into work every day, wondering if today is the day that I got angry enough to call and make him lose his job. Maybe that is dumb, but I did/do love him and just can't do that.
Thank you for all of your support. This site is amazing.
Some very good friends of mine bought me a ticket to CA. They felt I needed to get ouf of here for some distraction. They have no idea how much I need that.
So just saying you might have something to negotiate with during the divorce process.
And I would cease contact with him and start the divorce process. He has shown you his true colors and you deserve better. So what if the woman "turns out to be not what he wanted"?? Does he run back to you until he does find what he wants. You deserve so much better!
Hope you find the strength to move forward! Take care of yourself and enjoy the trip to CA!
Did you know in some states you can sue the other woman for alienation of affection?
Hugs & prayers
Kathiey
Please, I understand how hard it is, but PLEASE know that you deserve better than a man that will rub up against you after sleeping with her. You deserve a man who respects you enough to not have affairs and call you truly disgusting names like c**t. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Say it to yourself every day, 10x a day, until you believe it.
Do you use affirmations? Here's one (of many) I use every day. I heard it on a tv show. The character was strong & beautiful, when she was asked why she didn't have a relationship with one of the other character's that was clearly perfect for her, she said
"I don't love men who love other women. I think more of myself than that."
I want to have that much self respect.
Many hugs to you.
Really, you have to set a firm boundary and let him know this can't continue. Getting him fiered may seem like a good thing to do now, it is no guarantee that he will stop seeing the OW. Then all you have is a cheating, unemployed H on your hands.
Truly, please a good attorney and a counselor. Those were the two best calls I ever made in dealing with my cheating ex.
sending hugs.