My husband left me for a woman who was 18 (I'm 37) a year ago. We reconciled but it's never been the same. I am not the hero here, I drink, I gamble, I run away/disconnect. He's not the hero either, he's in his mid 30's, still spends nite after nite in our basement playing video games, drinking, smoking, pills...
He's a refugee that has PTSD, and his temper flares up where he just storms after people. He has never hit me in 15 years, but he gets scary when he lets his anger control him.
The other nite we were arguing (our usual), but not epic-ally, ad he came toward me in the living room with a concealed butcher knife. I called the cops and he's been at the psych ward for several days.

*Sigh* It's been peaceful, albeit depressing, with him gone. He works 25 hours a week and cannot afford to pay rent anywhere. I took him back previously over him losing his job and needing a place to stay, and eventually he worked his way back into my bed, etc.

I don't know where to go from here. He's so bitter and angry 80% of the time that it's hard to have joy in my life. I know he's a broken person, and I feel as his wife I'm not always the most supportive, I'm just exhausted and feel every holiday he complains it's designed for "rich people", that weddings/birthdays, etc are ridiculous. We have two boys, and it's so toxic for them t see us carry on this way.