Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My best friend has been my friend over 28 years. We endured a lot over the years. Both of us marrying, divorcing, and personal health issues.
It doesn't bother me that she is still friends with my ex. What does bother me is that she thinks I'm lying about things my ex, after 3 yrs, still does.
My ex's and my son is in his last year of a private HS. They sub out the collection of tuition. My ex hijacked my account, spent all summer trying to straighten it out, finally did, only for ex to do it again. Why? I don't care. But, it put me in a financial disadvantage because I couldn't do the monthly payments, I had to do my 1/2 of a $7,000 tuition within a week to keep my son in school. I had the money, I'm at least done with tuition for now. College next.
Anyway, my friend thinks I'm making this up.
Why would I make this up?
She didn't realize the impact of her statements would cause severe results on my end.
Thoughts, advise, anything.
It doesn't bother me that she is still friends with my ex. What does bother me is that she thinks I'm lying about things my ex, after 3 yrs, still does.
My ex's and my son is in his last year of a private HS. They sub out the collection of tuition. My ex hijacked my account, spent all summer trying to straighten it out, finally did, only for ex to do it again. Why? I don't care. But, it put me in a financial disadvantage because I couldn't do the monthly payments, I had to do my 1/2 of a $7,000 tuition within a week to keep my son in school. I had the money, I'm at least done with tuition for now. College next.
Anyway, my friend thinks I'm making this up.
Why would I make this up?
She didn't realize the impact of her statements would cause severe results on my end.
Thoughts, advise, anything.
I think having a best friend of 28 years who is still buds with your x would be a little confusing. Most "friends" pick a side, so I do wonder at the ones who try to play both.
I decided to come up with some fake stories and I told a different story to each of the 5 friends and told each to keep it confidential and not tell anyone. Then I waited to see which story, if any, would come out from my husband's attorney.
Sure enough the outlandish false story came out from my husband's attorney that I was in line for a job that would pay me $100,000 a year so there should be no child support and I knew immediately who the leak came from. It was one of those friends.
At a get together of the 5 friends and I, I explained to all friends that I had planted the fake stories with all of them to find the person who was leaking my info. I confronted the leaker and asked why and she was embarrassed, was clearly caught, admitted she had been doing it, didn't try to defend herself, but wouldn't say why she did it. I told her we had been friends for so long and my husband was required to pay support for HIS CHILD. If she had the hots for my husband, that was okay and she could have him--I was divorcing him, so he was all hers, but that we deserved child support and this should be a lesson to her that you stay out of other people's business.
She left and didn't return. No one trusted her after that and another woman in the group had gone through a divorce before and she had a child, so it really hit.
So a warning--when you have someone that carries info to your spouse, if you are not yet divorced or are post-divorce and are in court over money/custody matters, know that your spouse will give that info to his attorney to be used if possible. You're going to have to be really smart about this.
My son had a competition for something last night for homecoming. I told family and friends. I was there, my boyfriend didn't go, thought it was a parent/family moment. My son was handsome, as always, even waved to me on stage. His father was no where, and neither were any friends or family.
Getting tired of this "I only think about myself" mentallity between, ex, friends and family.
Best friend is MIA. Isn't answering. Ex is also MIA. I have been told by him not to call or e-mail him, it's only written messages. Can't do it, refuse to give into him.
I'm trying to understand why the people we love try to hurt happiness when they know what we endured?
Sorry, you have such a friend.
She and my ex seem to meet out more than she lets on. She mentioned something recently I know I never told her. Ex said something that son inadvertently said, and said my boyfriend and I broke up, and I was dating someone else. My boyfriend had some scheulding problems with his son's sports, so could only stay a short while, but was still over everyday. I went out with a friend from high school, his wife just left him, so just trying to be a friend and have him someone to go to an event with.
She knew this person and I were talking, never said I was going on a date, and really didn't feel she needed to know about my boyfriends schedule.
I do know my ex tends to drive by on his way home from work, so my boyfriend used to be at my house at that time, at that time, had to leave 1/2 hr before.
This all makes my head spin! I just know people I've known for over 20+ years keep betraying me, where the people I knew 20+ years ago, lost touch with, reconnected have my back.
It makes absolutely no sense.
My son is with me, he likes the new/old people, and see's how they treat me, sees how I treat them, and there's no cursing, swearing and calling names. He's never seen me laugh this much in over 5 years.
Also, to say, he's not a great fan of my friend. He's seen me help her many times, but hasn't seen her do the same. For 18 yrs old, he has a lot of wisdom.