Not sure she is much of a friend.

You really find out who your friends are through this.. those that make me feel worse I have no time for.. I am lucky in that I have a lot of really good freinds on my side.. seeing me through. I dont have time for those that hurt me.. I'm already hurt. I want to surround my self... especially through this with freinds that can make me feel good about myself.. not ones that think I lie or was the cause of him walking out on me cause he wanted to chase some a##.

Surround yourself with those that help you.. not hinder you.
Just my thoughts.

she thinks you are making it up because he probably told her he didn't do it. Since they are still friends, there are probably other things that go on in his life, that if he would have hijacked your account, he isn't showing it or flashing the money to anyone.

There may be little things as well that you told her, that he either said you were lying about or exaggerated. Either way, she probably doesn't know how her words are being taken cus she has been your friend for 28 years. Some times, when we know someone for a long time, we let our guard down and can say things without thinking about the effects or how they may be taken. We get comfortable and think, "Oh shoot, they know me and know I wouldn't do or say anything to hurt them." When all in all, you were hurt. You should let her know that what she said bothers you or whatnot. It may just be a misunderstanding in the end.

Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. That's my thought.

She doesn't have to believe it - you lived it and know it happened. She has to respect it and be supportive.

That's my advise and anything.

xoxo

Thanks for the responses. I get such great compassion from you, it's hard to respond.

You have ex drama.

What's her vested interest? Why should she care at all?

I want you to be really careful because it is obvious that this friend of 28 years is coming to you and carrying tales from your ex and going to him and carrying tales from you. VERY BAD

That's not a friend. In her mind it has put her as certainly the important "decider" in the middle who gets to decide who is right and she has chosen your ex. A friend WOULD NOT DO THAT TO YOU. She would not place herself in that position and be a "decider" like this "friend" has done--a friend would stay out of it.

A friend would not carry tales to your spouse or vice versa.

You should put some distance between this "friend" and you because she is talking about you to your spouse and that's not okay. She is acting very much NOT like a friend.

You also have to consider that this friend may have more than a passing interest in your ex and that may be driving this. You wouldn't be the first to have a friend have the hots for your ex.

How can she possibly think that you are making it up unless she is hearing something else from your ex? And if she isn't yaking with him...and is coming to that conclusion b/c of that? "You ain't no friend of mine"...is what I would be saying to her. Life is hard enough, and sometimes we make it harder by keeping people around who really aren't that good for us.

Sounds like you need new friends. What kind of friend says that? Hell to the no! Im upset FOR you! Friends don't do that. R u sure your friend isn't crushing on him? Why does she see him through rosy glasses and get mad or in denial when you try to change her view of him? Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm

Astimegoesby, Amen! I think you said it very well

I know my friend has no interest in my ex. No one would. He looks like he's 70 instead of 55.

She also has a hunky boyfriend.

But, my boyfriend brought up the point that she broke us up in college.

She did apologize when we got back together, but there was still something that didn't fit. My boyfriend did say she hit on him in college and after we got back together. She denies it. I tend to believe my boyfriend because she refuses to meet us out together..

I love my friend. I have nursed her though eating disorders, divorce and other health issues. Now, her sister, who was my friend first, is moving back to town on the heels of a bad divorce, and she's worried I'll take her away. What is with that?

I did give her an ultimative a year ago. I told her to stop burying her head in books and other peoples problems, and move on.

I'm trying to move on. My ex and my friend keep pulling me away from that.

Then it's time to dump that which hinders your progression.

I have to agree that your 'friend' doesn't sound like much of a friend and that, yes, she sounds like she's carrying tales back and forth. I frankly wouldn't trust her if I were you, and would step back from her. Don't tell her anything even remotely important or personal. It's hard to lose someone you've been friends with for so many years but... it just doesn't sound like she has your best interests in mind any more.

I agree - that's what I would do. Continue to be friends with her and be social, if you generally enjoy her friendship, but definitely don't tell her anything personal that can be taken back to the ex. If you don't discuss it she won't have any ammunition, and neither will he. Then wait to see if she tries to get information out of you. If she does, then she's not your friend, she's his.

She's worried you will take her sister away? That's an odd thing to say or even be worried about.

Some times, people just become busy bodies. When they do it for so long, they don't know how to act any other way and most times, they don't feel they are the ones with the problems. Regardless, you two have been friends for a long time. She isn't stealing from you, or physically harming you, even tho her words, accusations or thoughts are. You gotta tell her. If you's are real friends you'll work through it and she will show you what a real friend is like. and if you's are real friends, you will just know how she is and still be her friend. What you tell her is up to you. If she is using it to hurt you behind your back, and you know about it, do with that what you will so to protect yourself. But I think if more friends would try to work thru things instead of letting some things cause mistrust to the point they turn their backs on each other, then maybe, the hate and discontent, lack of trust that people seem to throw out with the first thought wouldn't exist as much.