Brain Injury Support Group
Traumatic brain injury occurs when a sudden trauma causes brain damage. TBI can result from a closed head injury or a penetrating head injury. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. Outcome can be anything from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. A coma can also affect a child's brain.
So not sure if anyone else has this same issue but my speech therapist is becoming more of a parent than a therapist (I'm 34 for crying out loud) and every time I see her now we spend most of the visit talking about personal stuff than we do working on my memory, cognitive issues etc and I'm really getting frustrated and I don't know what to do and it's been happening over the past few weeks now. So the only thing I can think of is talking to her but I really don't know how so I typed this up, I don't know if I should email her or if I should talk to her face to face, I'm kinda worried cause she lives in my town and has made comments about wanting to know where my house is located, etc. I'd really appreciate anyone's thoughts on the subject. Sorry it's kinda long but I had to write it out what was on my mind....
I think we need to talk. I'm not sure you are understanding me really well and I wasn't really comfortable when we left on Friday. I've been meaning to talk to you about a few things for a few weeks now but just didn't know how to talk to you. So I've asked my friend to help type this up with me so I get this right.
I keep telling you that I'm fine or I'm ok and you keep asking me are you sure and I'm not sure how else to tell you. But I truly am fine if I tell you that, I have to spend time reassuring you that I'm either fine or explain that I'm just tired and that just takes time away from me doing a task which is more important to me.
Then sometimes you start talking about me stressing when starting a task but when I tell you I'm not you seem to still assume that I am, so I feel like I can't win with you. And then at the end of our last session you were all psycho analyzing me like back on day one for some reason after we had what i thought was a pretty productive session considering how tired i was and then you go and throw that at me. I just didn't understand why you were saying that?
I'm just really confused why you keep bringing up the emotional issues if those are the issues you would like to keep out of the session and be more productive. When all I'm trying to do is be more productive and stay focused on my tasks at hand. I'm not stressing out, I'm more focused, I've controlled my breathing, I'm working harder, but you keep going back to this emotional issue and I don't understand why this happens alot. It's like you keep taunting me and asking me if I'm stressed as if you're trying to get me stressed just so you can write something down on your notes, like that whole topic on Friday that came out of nowhere, that really didn't need to be brought up. It was uncalled for and it seemed to be antagonistic.
You also ask me all the time where my rides are and who brought me, I'm not sure if it's small talk but I'm 34 and can sort it out, I'm thankful that you care but I'm all set, I just sometimes feel as if you get to motherly..I don't need to be looked after, and I don't think it was appropriate to ask where my house was located that day.
I just feel that this wastes so much of my therapy time and money and really needs to be allocated in a more productive manner.
I think we need to talk. I'm not sure you are understanding me really well and I wasn't really comfortable when we left on Friday. I've been meaning to talk to you about a few things for a few weeks now but just didn't know how to talk to you. So I've asked my friend to help type this up with me so I get this right.
I keep telling you that I'm fine or I'm ok and you keep asking me are you sure and I'm not sure how else to tell you. But I truly am fine if I tell you that, I have to spend time reassuring you that I'm either fine or explain that I'm just tired and that just takes time away from me doing a task which is more important to me.
Then sometimes you start talking about me stressing when starting a task but when I tell you I'm not you seem to still assume that I am, so I feel like I can't win with you. And then at the end of our last session you were all psycho analyzing me like back on day one for some reason after we had what i thought was a pretty productive session considering how tired i was and then you go and throw that at me. I just didn't understand why you were saying that?
I'm just really confused why you keep bringing up the emotional issues if those are the issues you would like to keep out of the session and be more productive. When all I'm trying to do is be more productive and stay focused on my tasks at hand. I'm not stressing out, I'm more focused, I've controlled my breathing, I'm working harder, but you keep going back to this emotional issue and I don't understand why this happens alot. It's like you keep taunting me and asking me if I'm stressed as if you're trying to get me stressed just so you can write something down on your notes, like that whole topic on Friday that came out of nowhere, that really didn't need to be brought up. It was uncalled for and it seemed to be antagonistic.
You also ask me all the time where my rides are and who brought me, I'm not sure if it's small talk but I'm 34 and can sort it out, I'm thankful that you care but I'm all set, I just sometimes feel as if you get to motherly..I don't need to be looked after, and I don't think it was appropriate to ask where my house was located that day.
I just feel that this wastes so much of my therapy time and money and really needs to be allocated in a more productive manner.
The thing that I would ask myself is in your situation:
"What is it that I want to accomplish?"
What I THINK that you want to accomplish is to have the therapy sessions be devoted to brain remediation tasks. And, I know from other posts that you are struggling financially right now.
So, I think the best course is to simply cut to the chase and say something like the following:
"I'm really struggling financially now, and I want to make sure I get the most I can out of our sessions, because I may be limited in how long I can keep up going to therapy. I really appreciate that you ask me how I am, and am concerned about the emotional part of my injury. But, given my situation, I need to just focus on the memory and cognitive exercises. That would be the most helpful for me."
What do you think, Meeps?
Further, if she doesn't get it or refuses to meet your needs, it's time for a new therapist.
Do you think it's possible she is just running out of ideas or thinkgs to do with you? WIth my husband, we never had a therapist who overstepped or meddled BUT there did come a time with a couple of PTs when what they were able to offer/do for him simply wasn't what he needed or wanted. They were content with getting him to a certain point and thinking that was great. It was at those points it was time to switch to a PT who could see more fine-tuning was necessary and possible to increase his quality of life. Each time he moved on to another PT (which he did twice) they worked on a whole new level of things and he is doing great. Switching can be frightening and/or uncomfortable but may be a good thing in the long run.
I sure hope everything works out for you, Meep!
Pinpoint you expectations and keep it simple. You have a few really really great things said here:
" I'm thankful that you care but I'm all set, I just sometimes feel as if you get to motherly.."
"I just feel that this wastes so much of my therapy time . . . and really needs to be allocated in a more productive manner."
That last sentace of your is soooo concise!
My PT told me last week that it was my last session. And I was a bit taken aback, because I didn't know it was going to be my last session. (Change is hard for me since the TBI.)
But she had felt she'd gone as far as she could with me. And that makes sense.
I still need help, but I need help in a different way than what she can offer. More on the brain side of things. Ironically, I really need more help from the speech therapist at this point, but I'm waiting to see what my insurance does before I get myself in too deep financially.
We also worked with a life coach for a while, too. She worked with both my husband and I. SUPER HELPFUL! It's hard when your life has been turned upside-down and inside-out to figure out where the heck you are going! (FYI, if there is no life coach in your area, many do it all over the phone so location doesn't really matter!) It really helped us take a good look at some things we'd been pushing aside. The gal we worked with is also a minister but while her basic philosophy was faith-based, she wasn't preach-y or anything. Anywho, it just really helped us realize we still had a purpose and our lives are still going somewhere ... I've rattled on a bit, but just thought it might be something helpful. : )