Brain Injury Support Group
Traumatic brain injury occurs when a sudden trauma causes brain damage. TBI can result from a closed head injury or a penetrating head injury. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. Outcome can be anything from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. A coma can also affect a child's brain.
Started a college course in September and doing well generally but it's so hard. My course is an agricultural one. Today it really hit home how much I struggle and I think it's only my sheer bloody mindedness that keeps me on track. Today I did milking - very, very hard to take on the new learning. Realised instructions were going right over my head. When I did take stuff on it was through really simplified instructions e.g. the metal bit on the milking cups faces this way etc. etc. Beginning to know that I have to see and hear instructions at least twice over to get it and if there is a gap of a day until I repeat the task then it's all forgotten. So it's overlearning and overlearning with as much practice as possible. That's what I've taken on with the tractor driving anyway which seems much better - but it is like an eraser comes and gives me a mind wipe much of the time.
To get to the point - it's the embarrassment that gets to me really. When my brain went into crash at the end of the day today - I wasn't responding at all well to anyone and I think my fellow students thought I was a bit weird. I thought I knew what they were talking about and then two hours later I realised what they really meant (hence the weird looks when I did the opposite to what was expected). Does anyone get this brain lag thing where the meaning of a situation or what people say is held of until the brain processes it? Sometimes its half an hour, sometimes it's many hours or days later.
It's very hard work holding it all together....exhausting in fact. But feeling stupid does get to met an awful lot when I'm trying to get back into normal working life through my training.
To get to the point - it's the embarrassment that gets to me really. When my brain went into crash at the end of the day today - I wasn't responding at all well to anyone and I think my fellow students thought I was a bit weird. I thought I knew what they were talking about and then two hours later I realised what they really meant (hence the weird looks when I did the opposite to what was expected). Does anyone get this brain lag thing where the meaning of a situation or what people say is held of until the brain processes it? Sometimes its half an hour, sometimes it's many hours or days later.
It's very hard work holding it all together....exhausting in fact. But feeling stupid does get to met an awful lot when I'm trying to get back into normal working life through my training.
I am still in college, i've been taking 2 or 3 classes a semester.. for about 4 years now (I was in my first semester of college when I was in the accident, but those classes don't count). It's hard, but organization is key. I have a "brain-binder" which I write everything in that I would expect to know tomorrow or next week etc. and in the same way every day so I can find everything I need (I even write where I sit in the class, and every person I meet in detail). I started this because I was so embarrassed about my brain injury.. I didn't want anyone to know that I forget who they are on a daily basis. (I am a very polite person, and I just hate how rude my injury makes me seem) It also allows me to get A's and B's, when before I would just be failing and so stressed I needed to drop the class. I don't suggest being ashamed of anything at all, but being organized will certainly help you function in society quicker and easier.
You are certainly not stupid, or anything like that. Considering what your brain is going through, you're doing an amazing job. I do tell my bf I think i'm an idiot all the time, but whenever I feel really different, I just think about all that i've overcome, and realize that these kids in my class never had to do what I did. If anything, this makes us stronger, and I feel like I've become a much better person because of my injury and the experiences it has forced me to endure.
Do you have trouble reading? I have to do the opposite of what every doctors says just to read for class (I never read for leisure now, it's too painful). I sit in a very dimly lit room, I read with sunglasses sometimes, and I get terrible headaches almost instantly that last until I fall asleep. Sometimes I take naps in the library just to get through a chapter or two. For me, the words on the page move as if I'm crossing my eyes, uncrossing them, and crossing again once or twice every sentence. I re-read a lot, and I try to dim my computer and use sepia tones when I can. It's a pain really.. but my eye doctor said it's definitely nothing wrong with my eyes, it's my lovely brain =/
It's so important to enjoy life though.. Don't ever compare yourself to who you were before your injury. You are given the opportunity to start fresh, and really focus on what's important in life. Don't get hung up on what others think. Once you accept everything.. it will be far easier to not feel stupid or care about what others are thinking about you. Just enjoy the life you've been given. It's never easy, but at least you're alive to live it =)