Dear jsnyder,

The depression and anger are pretty normal par for the course with any serious injury of bad life changes. The cutting is a coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional hurting inside.

I think you would benifit greatly from a book that saved my soul when i was in recovery; The book is called The Artist WAy by Julia Cameron. It really helped me ID my anger and finds ways to express and deal with it in constructive ways. There comes a point you want to quite the book and you are screaming inside for relief; that is the turning point; I keep with the book and my internal self is so greatful. I think I would have worked through the mess but it helped keep things more structured. I need structure.

I feel for you; I know this is tough. You have come to a great place for support.

Dear Joe,

What is SI?

Self Injury

Dear Joe,

Do you have a back up plan to help you cope with the desire to self injury?

What can you do that would help you not hurt yourself? Just trying to be supportive.

Would journaling help? Write til you pour all the junk and hurt and goup out. Then write somethings positive.

jsnyder, there are all types of changes that can occur, from your mind getting scrambled. I know for myself, I was very fortunate, that before what happened to me, I was seeing a counselor, and then afterwards, I went back to him.

He helped me to understand things, I had never understood, on my own, thus it helped explain things to me, that otherwise, I'd have thought I was going nuts. It's not my thoughts were now mixeed up, it was how I was understanding some things, that had me confused. If possible for you, a counselor could help you with the depression, and the SI feelings you have. Whatever you do, I hope it can be of help to you.

Joe, You have every right to feel the way you do. Depression is normal following a brain injury. It must be frustrating not being able to work on top of everything else you are going through. Don't take it out on yourself though. Cutting is not the answer and it will do nothing to help you in the long run. Make choices instead to do something to make you happy. What do you enjoy? Make a list and every time you feel down, get out the list and do something you enjoy instead of hurting yourself. Find a good counselor. If you don't know of one, ask your doctor to refer you to one. Life is too short not to be good to yourself. Find that person inside you who wants the best for you. Listen to that voice telling you that you are worthy.
This site has helped many cope, I pray it also helps you to know that others care and are rooting for you.

I would be curous what part of your brain suffered the injury. The last portion of the brain to mature controls alot of those impulses and your injury may have caused some damage that is interfering with that control. On the other had... depression is anger turned inside out. I had alot of control issues after my injury, finding the right conbination of meds to control my seizure activity has done alot for helping me control those impulses too. Bottom line... have a HONEST conversation with your doctor about what you are going through. If you think you are going to tell them something they haven't heard before, you're wrong. They can only help you if they know what your issues are.

Hi! I had Depression before I had my TBI. I think it's worse now. I know say "beep" instead of swearing.

thank you all for your advice. I am going to try to stop. It is just hard....

im startin to not really give uh fuk....fuk everybody....nobody going to accept you now...fuck them...im gettin tired of it i aint tryna hurt myself now but fuck everybody....wat uh life this is....hahaha....