2 months ago i suffered a traumatic brain injury that i almost died from.

i ended up taking myself by taxi to the emergency room. i was suffering from neuro shock/systemic disfunction and was vomiting and had terrible stomache pain after the injury.

i have terrible headpain and couldnt turn my neck for a month after the injury.


because any movement or lying on my pillow on the left side caused severe pain.

i started having sensitivity to sounds or vision and light.

even birds chirping outside my window caused sharp pain in my head and bothered me

when i got to the emergency room i was shaky and nervous looking because my nervous system was overworking to try to stay alive

and the doctor there was incompetent and told me i have a psychiatric issue and tried to have me sent to the psych ward because of a brain injury.

i ended up leaving the emergency room with no medical treatment or testing

and i ended up back in another er the next day

at that one they found out my ekg was bad and i had a sudden arrythmia that i never had before the injury

they offered to give me a cat scan but i was told by my doctors a few yrs ago to not get another cat scan ever again because i had many ct scans and ex rays and radiation exposure at a young age.

eventually within a week later i felt like i would fall down, i couldnt stand up anymore so i said thats it i took myself to a different er at a better hospital

over there they told me they think i have bleeding in the brain. so they wanted to do a spinal tap and ct scan.

i agreed to go for the ct scan but they told me that since its a week later the injury or bleeding might not show up on a cat scan a week later

i ended up not getting the spinal tap and signing a form against medical advice and they told me i could die from my injury

but i went home and saw a neurologist later that week

neurologist told me i had a brain stem injury

my basic functions didnt work well anymore. my personality was the same

but i had trouble swallowing food or drinking. and digesting any food i would vomit. i lost 15 pounds over the next few weeks

i could not go to sleep. sudden insomnia at one point i was up for 3 days and could not sleep at all

vision and hearing changes

changes in my heart rythm


shakyness and trouble speaking at times

i also was not going to the bathroom because i couldnt digest stuff so i did not have to use the bathroom much

but from the outside besides from a sudden severe nervousness they said i seem fine but no i was not fine if i couldnt eat, drink, sleep , hear and see normally

i know my legs were stiff for a few weeks and i had strange burning pain on my skin and i also couldnt feel pain in other areas

i stepped on a sharp nail in my bedroom by accident with my bare foot and i did not say ouch. it took me like over 10 seconds to process that i stepped on anything and to take my foot off

also i did not have any pain in my eyeballs

i read one thing they do to test people who have brain stem injuries who are in a coma is scratch their eyeball surface with some sandpaper thing to see if they feel pain or flinch. maybe not feeling pain on your eyeball then could mean brain stem dysfunction

and when i put my finger onto my eyeball or even fingernail it does not hurt and i know before my injury i would have squinted my eye and said ouch and had a reaction

but now its like the eye is not feeling pain

maybe damaged nerves?

i went for other tests like mri and eeg. eeg came out not normal it showed that i had brain injury and damage to atleast a couple areas of the brain

the mri showed nothing but i was told that an mri wont show anything unless its severely serious like tumor or anyurism or something that requires someone to be rushed to the icu or whatever

there are even articles that say comatose , vegetative and dead people have had completely normal mris sometimes

so it dosnt show everything



anyways so what am i supposed to do my doctors dont tell me what to do. im in terrible pain every day and im someone who never had a headache ever before the head injury

my vision is bad now i feel like im looking through a kaliedascope or fun house miror sort of, its distorted and sometimes i cant recognize things i see now

such as i notice myself misspelling words and spelling was my strongest subject my whole life

and like for example i was looking at a box of donuts but at first i thought i was looking at a box of ice cream bars for an hour i was convinced it was ice cream bars and i relooked at the thing and then it i realized it was donuts

i went to the eye doctor to have my eyes checked and they said the eye exam was normal and that its not my eyes causing the vision issues, he said its my brain

i still have problems with my basic functions i wonder every day for the last 2 months am i going to be able to eat normally today and be able to drink water. am i going to be able to doze off tonight, is my hearing going to be bad, what day will the vision improve,

the thing that worries me is i have had mild brain injury before but nothing as bad as this that effects basic functions

i had mild tbi from psychiatric medication when i was a teenager and i had mild tbi from a staph infection that went to my brain in a few yrs leading up to the injury so i heard repeated brain injury is worse each time

but the past issues were very mild compared to my moderate brain injury now. i dont know if its considered severe but it seems severe

i feel like im not out of the clear like i can die any day from this

i feel shaky and like my circulation is weird like theres numbness on the right side

i have pain shooting down my arms and legs and back, its weird


my hearing is not normal, sometimes when i try to speak now i cant hear myself speak.

or if i chew certain foods it will make my head pain worse and i feel something happening in my head like healing up


but who says it will heal up correctly?

and i was sent home and not told what to do. i dont live in a good situation. i live in a bad enviroment with my parents that is abusive.

when i got home from the emergency room my mother would verbally abuse and yell at me every day and tell me to die. my older sister lives here with her young children and they scream every day. the youngest who is in preschool only goes to school part time and she is home throwing tantrums and screaming with high pitched screams all day

i had to keep asking her to be quiet because it causes severe head pain if i hear those kids scream

so my brain has not been able to rest with me being sent home to an abusive household where there is a loud tv on here all day, they play loud music here on the stereo and the kids run around screaming most of the day and weekend

i feel like its no place to recover from my brain injury and probably made things worse and my stress more high

i need a quiet and dim lighted place to recover not somewhere that im yelled at all day and hear kids fighting all day

i also notice my symptoms are less if it is colder weather and raining.

i have no idea why the rainy weather makes my head pain less since the injury?


but it got more humid and hott here since last week and its driving me crazy. the hott and sunny weather is making my symptoms 10 times worse even if i stay indoors

something about the heating is affection my brain and doing something

i feel lost, im not in any medical treatment. pain killers made my symptoms worse maybe because my brain cant metaboloze things so well now so pain killers and medication give it extra things to process

i notice if i eat dairy products my symptoms get worse maybe because of the hormones that are added to milk


and i have no where to recover . i need a quiet place and i dont have that im sent home to recover in a hell hole with 3 kids under age 7 running around screaming and fighting with eachother half the day and i get yelled at by my parents, my mother curses me out and does not care


i obviousely cant work right now since the head injury but before that i was battling a terrible staph infection so i couldnt work either then

i have no friends because i was isolated and not well from the staph infection for 5 yrs


im being bullied not only by family members but by other aquiantances

for example this whole brain injury thing happened because of a result of physical violence against me by someone who was harrasing me for a few yrs and then made death threats and had me injured

and first my priority is to take care of my health and stay alive

even if im in horrible pain and not functioning neruologically

but my 2nd thing is i tried telling police that im a victim of assault and battery and that this was done to me by someone crazy who had said they want to kill me before, and i am having a hard time getting anyone to listen to me

because of my brain injury it affects my communication verbally and makes me look nervous and it lowered my social skills so i cant convince anyone in person what happened to me because they dont take me seriousely due to my injury

so i went alone , it took me a while i dont know if theres a statute of limitations. and me alone with lowered social skills appearing nervous trying to tell police i was abused and injured had not helped because they told me to go home and didnt want to help


so this guy is out there and still wants to kill me i think and he is not in jail where he should be for causing me a brain injury

my parents have medical bills to pay for me and they dont want to get this guy arrested so that he could pay the bills.

so here i am sitting here at my parents house with crazy family members who dont care about me. and im scared about my symptoms, im wondering if im going to recover i am only 30 yrs old. i dont want to spend the next 60 yrs of my life with these symptoms or be dead

and im wondering if my attempted murderer is going to come back and hurt me again and when and am i safe, is he going to return to try to kill me and finish me off

so i dont know where to go. i tried to get myself into a domestic violence shelter but they said since i have no kids that there is a long waiting list and that they do not have room for me.and a few weeks after they had no room still

i ended up at one point at a regular plain homeless shelter and i was too weak to walk across the warehouse floor there so they sent me back to the hospital

im not sure being in a homeless shelter with a serious brain injury is the place to be

but i dont feel safe at my parents home here

so its too much to deal with