The injury or the accident.
There's no escaping the fact that I have had a tbi.
Its always there and a part of who I am now.
At times I get very annoyed, when I get overwhelmed or stressed but I try to accept this is how I am now.
Always pushing and fighting for the best life possible for myself.
My accident I don't think about too much.
I don't know why but it never bothered me that much, it happened I can never make it as if it didn't happen.
For the most I just want a good future.
I do often think about those who have hurt me because they couldn't deal with what happened and i wish i could just forget them and never think of them again as I deal with the driver who hit me but as they knew me personally, it hurts more.
Everyone is different of course and we all have are own ways of dealing with what has happened to us. There's no right or wrong way. We just have to find out whatever works for us and helps us keep going.

Well Lanie, I don't think about my injury that often anymore, and I am 6 1/2 years out. But with a new job and some personal emotional things going on in my life, it seems to be all I think about.

I don't think about the actual wreck that caused the TBI, but I think about the damage I still have, and have to work so hard to overcome everyday. I notice my memory probably most of all.

I wish I could tell you it does go away eventually, but that's not the case for me. Maybe with time this will continue to improve, and the memory of what I was before will become more distant for me. I just don't believe it will ever totally disappear. And I feel like it is totally a part of who I am now as Nat said earlier. I am still trying to accept this as who I am now.

I hope your thoughts will change someday too Lanie!

Take care!
SSE

I think how my life has changed. Glad my parents had passed before as it would have hurt them. How it affects my family. I guess every day as we deal with it every day. Just checked my brain book, first tbi was in 1995. So guess its as good as it is going to get.

I think about mine each and every day still. I drive through the intersection as I go to work and as I drive home. A constant reminder....I even dissociate at times while near that intersection.

I think about the injustice, the drunk, the fucked up so called justice system, I think about my injuries and how my life would be if this never happened to me.

I also think about some positives in my life since the wreck. My new very best friend came to me from our group here...I cannot imagine life without knowing her. (Shout out to SSE, love you girlfriend!)

I must admit that I am a much stronger woman since the crash. Having survived PTSD was probably the most difficult aspect of all of this. It knocked me off my ass....I am now one again..a better, stronger one.

I'm five years post, and I think it will always be this way. No, check that. I hope not.

I say it now, but I don't know how it will be next year or even tomorrow.

All I can say is when I misplace a paper ~ I blame my TBI. When my child says he told me something and I don't remember, I blame my TBI, when I think about that last class I need to get my Masters, I blame my TBI.

Yeah, it's become a crutch, but more importantly, I have no self confidence and no sence of what is normal. My true friends will tell me, they are far and few (you all know now) and I will believe them.
Most you will cling to! Others don't understand and mover on.

(I hear it all the time about teenagers stretching the truth; misplacing keys when you hit 40, going to beaches to be calm and zone and being afraid, for whatever the reason to complete a degree).

Also, making friends. Shit, I am the friendlies person out there. Or I was : ( I always trusted myself. Now, I stick with NY!

After my tbi, or after three years my family stepped in and said you can't be like the "old Kim" you need time to get your head together.

Ohh boy, yeah, that went over well. Now they say "I should get over it, it's been five years". O,kaaaaaay. If I had my leg amputated (O Lord, forgive me for saying that) and you had to look at it every time you saw me ~ I think you wouldn't say or feel that.
UGHH. A brain injury is so different. You look alright, but you're notl.

Take what you can from this post, I'm worried about something different and up late ; ( Peace & hugs to everyone ~~ brat

It affects my life everyday...It's just always there.

Only yesterday I was feeling out of sorts and couldnt work out why. Came to me last night, your grieving for what you have lost in your life. Something I had never thought about, of course I know what I have lost, but it must have without me knowing yesterday all sort of come together after having more balance issues, dont really know. Strange day, kinda sad, but back to normal this morning. Anyone else had this happen?

It is always on my mind. To the point where I am consumed by it. Too often the only words out of my mouth is about my TBI.

I fell off my roof (that's what they tell me, I still don't recall), probably because of my clumsiness. So I don't have any one to blame other than myself.

As you walked thru the cow pasture of life sometimes you step in the stuff you were trying to avoid. Work on getting it off your shoe and less on getting mad about it. Hope that helps.

This is a good topic Elanie! I hesitated when you first posted it because my first response was...never.

That isn't exactly true. I think about it but it is far less consuming than it was in the beginning. I have more constant reminders of the other injuries that came along with my TBI. The one thing that bothers me most is the unknown. What really happened?

I don't think about where I would've been now if the accident hadn't occurred. Instead I think of the future and what it holds in store for me. Much as I did before the accident.

In the beginning I packed a great deal of anger. I was angry at everyone and every thing! Most of the anger was real it was justified and it was all consuming. I thought of nothing else but...how to make them all pay for what they did to me or...what they allowed to happen to me from their actions.

I was never an angry person before. Sure...I got angry once in a while but this bordered rage. Not healthy and very lethal...my course was set for self destruction had I not found Daily Strength and realized...I had to get a hold of that rage let it go or at least pacify it for now.

The time will come for them to pay restitution but, it may not be for me to see happen. The only thing I can focus on is what I can control and mostly...that's me.

This one hits home, Lanie. I still have trouble with memory, decisions and still a bit of pain from how my skull is kinda pressed down on top, it's pretty annoying and if things get too chaotic, it's overwhelming... but as time goes by I manage to handle it a little better... i guess. but it is part and parcel of every day.

You all wrote such good responses. There are some good positive feelings, but also some sad, and I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you've had.
I'm the first to respond to this question that did not have tbi.
I am the mother that watches the differences in my daughter's personality and in her life on a regular basis because of her brain injury. She was injured 2 yrs and 2 months ago (close to Elanie). She still considers herself in "recovery/rehabilitation" mode. She told me this the other day after she blew up over something trivial. She knows things affect her differently. She doesn't mention the accident (she has no memory of it happening) or her injuries to me and I now wonder myself how often she thinks about it. She was only 21 when it happened so maybe it's not as difficult as it would have been if she was already in a career or marriage, etc. Since I read this discussion topic I now wonder if she does think about it often and if it is negative for her. But she is a strong and determined soul just like you all.

Hi I just passed 11years on may 19
I Think about mu fall every day. luckly i forget alot so i do not rember every time i think about my fall.
I try to stay positive and not let it get me down.

I think about my injury everyday.... sometimes on bad days, it is all I ever think about.

I think about my injury everyday.... sometimes on bad days, it is all I ever think about.

I think tbi or not we are always in a recovery stage of some sort.
I have had alot of good things happen since my fall.
MY twins were three month old when i fell. since I am not working I have time with them i would never have had.
dont be to sad about the diffculties it is comforting to be able to share with people that understand