Brain Injury Support Group
Traumatic brain injury occurs when a sudden trauma causes brain damage. TBI can result from a closed head injury or a penetrating head injury. Symptoms of a TBI can be mild, moderate, or severe, depending on the extent of the damage to the brain. Outcome can be anything from complete recovery to permanent disability or death. A coma can also affect a child's brain.
Hi guys!
I have been so sad over this last little while! My husband and I were talking to our lawyer about final court documents regarding Jen our brain injured daughter. I had mentioned I wanted to have a will made up! My husband gets upset with me saying I think too negatively! It's not negative it's preparation should the unthinkable happen! I have a sister who said she would take Jen in a minute and asked me to check with my son (24 yrs old) I called him and wanted him named first on the Will. He said "gee, don't think I can do that at this stage in my life then said he doesn't think he could do what I do!" I was both shocked and saddened that he wouldn't want to look after his own sister! He never comes around. I often wonder if he just couldn't handle her accident! My sister said she had questions about the financial end of it, before she and her husband could commit. I called a girlfriend who said "you are asking people to assume your life when you don't want your life, put her in an institution!" You can imagine how sad this made me! I cried so hard I vomited! I never said I didn't love my life I surely do! There is no place I would rather be than with her!
I realize others do not have the same opinion as me.
What have any of you done? Can you give me any advise?
Sandy ;(
I have been so sad over this last little while! My husband and I were talking to our lawyer about final court documents regarding Jen our brain injured daughter. I had mentioned I wanted to have a will made up! My husband gets upset with me saying I think too negatively! It's not negative it's preparation should the unthinkable happen! I have a sister who said she would take Jen in a minute and asked me to check with my son (24 yrs old) I called him and wanted him named first on the Will. He said "gee, don't think I can do that at this stage in my life then said he doesn't think he could do what I do!" I was both shocked and saddened that he wouldn't want to look after his own sister! He never comes around. I often wonder if he just couldn't handle her accident! My sister said she had questions about the financial end of it, before she and her husband could commit. I called a girlfriend who said "you are asking people to assume your life when you don't want your life, put her in an institution!" You can imagine how sad this made me! I cried so hard I vomited! I never said I didn't love my life I surely do! There is no place I would rather be than with her!
I realize others do not have the same opinion as me.
What have any of you done? Can you give me any advise?
Sandy ;(
she said.....sheesh.....that would really have upset me too!!
I think it would be good to hear from other caregivers...are you a member of the "tea room" group?
Your love and commitment to your daughter and her needs brings tears to my eyes...there aren't always understanding family/this is such a hard journey, as you know. I think you are doing the right thing...God Bless You
Wishing you all the best.
I guess I didn't honestly expect this would be so hard. I know if this was my niece I would take her no questions asked. It is a big responsibility, I know. My brother-in-law wrote us a wonderful note that talked of our loving Jen so much he is sure we are the sole reason for why she has done as well as she has. He agreed my twin sister would be best for the job as she is the closest to Jen and pretty much knows her routine and so on. The questions brought to us was their financial position. Could they afford our large house? Let alone the hydro going into it? They are both not working, he is a retired deputy Police Chief and she has just been told her job is up (from a maternity leave) in April. They are concerned that their house is what is potentially going to be their kids inheritance and that moving here, if they sold 1/2 would go to my son. Where does that leave them financially and what about their children? They are in terrible shape healthwise. He is over 250 lbs and she has COPD. (breathing lung issues).
I did get a hold of a very close friend of mine who is like a brother to me (Jen calls him Uncle Ed) he has offered without a shadow of a doubt and no questions asked to be put down as her guardian should anything unthinkable happen. My sister said they want to do it but need the financial questions answered first which I understand. I will be seeing our lawyer next week and ask him. My husband is furious with me for asking anyone without him. To be honest he hasn't been in support of anything I have tried to do to help Jen along anyway. So regardless if he is happy or unhappy it has to be done so whatever! Our relationship has suffered so much that he wont touch me hold hands or anything. We only just talk and that is about it. We sleep in different rooms now. Life has become an overwhelming challenge!
The good news is Jen got accepted into a behavioral unit in a rehab hospital about 2 hours from here. I spearheaded this about 6 months ago and again my husband was furious with me! He said she is fine where she is! I said I don't agree that a 26 year old girl should be sitting from 2:30 in the afternoon until bedtime watching TV in her "comfy chair" She needs to get out and get social and enjoy life outside these four frigging walls that are closing in on me too!
We think she will be an inpatient there from 3-4 months to a year depending on her progress. Currently she is living at home with us.
Thank you all again for your notes. I have listened to each and will apply all the advise given.
It sure is nice to come to a place to talk and be heard without someone like my husband knocking down every good thought process I have in moving ahead with Jens rehabilitation!
Yes cheesecake88 I do belong to the tea room, do you think I should raise this question in there?
Love to all
Sandy xoxo