Hi, I share your feelings. I'm afraid I'm on the same ship as you are. I even had a social worker suggest to me to give up the whole idea of being employed again. All I can say is my future looks bleak. It reminds me of a time I was hit by a car on my motorcycle post brain injury. After I was hit on my bike I got off of it and thought to myself "damn I'm still alive."

Sad to say i have had similar thoughts. However for the sake of my kids i somehow go on. I think not being occupied in the working world makes you subject to low mood (and with me angry rages). Im having an operation on 1st oct (another souvenir from the attack) and perhaps will think again once im better. Had to buy a car this week and the whole business overloaded me. Somebody without tbi wouldn't even understand that.

Hugs madoak, My career ended suddenly, never to go back...over 28 fulltime years of hard work......Pffffftttt....gone!! You are so right...no one, I mean,no one understands if they have not had a BI.....only those here on this site. I went into a severe depression...lost 35 lbs.....that was many years ago...I still struggle to adapt/get frustrated......I did not want to file for disability, over and over I refused....until someone said to me from soc security that if too much time from when you worked/had to leave goes by...you could lose out/then I think I did it for my pets/my furbabies/even tho in my gut I knew I couldn't function at a job. It's very,very hard to face, I know.

The only thing I can say to give you hope, is that I survived that depression, I sure did not feel very strong, but I can look back now and know I have improved even tho my life changed alot and is much different.

I have had my ptsd triggered recently, the ptsd board here at DS has helped me...it's a kind/diverse group where you can vent...say just about anything....I'm just mentioning it in case you want/need to vent......I read there often....I have found, like here, they "get it" when it comes to ptsd, so that has helped me to not feel so alone in those feelings. Blessings and Hope to you!

Hi Madoak, I"m sorry you're going through this stage of recovery. I think it's something most of us, if not all have dealt with at some period. I don't work, and I know part of the frustration is just not bringing in a paycheck and the self esteem that goes along with "I'm good at this- look, I"m being paid ". Having to give up a job because of the new limits we have can surely trigger feelings of "what good am I?" and "What do I do now?"

After your surgery ( the one that's coming up) , when you feel better, would you consider volunteering somewhere? That way you will be helping others, and yet not have all the responsibilities that comes with being a hired worker. You could do this and it may slowly build your confidence , as well as your stamina and other things.

What are your strengths and passion? You seem to like animals and nature; I know the animal shelter here is always looking for volunteers . We also have a 'bog walk" over a stream and through a forest, and the leaders use volunteers to lead nature walks.

I've had 3 tbis and have done a number of volunteer things, from working with the elderly to doing hospice care. I also read on the radio ( a special station ) to the visually impaired and blind for a while.

After my third tbi, a lot of my abilities changed, however one remained- my love of the English language and the skills I still had to know correct grammar and spelling , as well as writing. This led me to connect with a literacy agency . This group does various things: teaches adults to read, helps adults get their high school diplomas, and other things.
I have 4 students right now. Lori and Candace are going for their GEDs, and need help with the writing aspect of that . ( Lori had never heard of writing an outline- you should have seen the lightbulb moment she had when I introduced her to that!) . They are both ready to take the GED test again in November. My other 2 students are ELL ( English Language Learners) ; one from Belize and one from China. I am more a conversation partner with them as they learn the language and become more fluent in it. We also play Junior Scrabble and do other things that add to their literacy .

Forgive me for blathering on and on. My Ritalin prescription reads " an adjunct for brain activity due to brain injuries". It helps me focus , and in this case, talk too much . My hope is that you might find a low key way that helps you add more meaning to your life. That might not include a work environment right now. It's okay , in fact necessary , to take things at your own pace. If it frustrates you to read want ads and realize you can't do something, then stop reading them. I often think back to a professor that said "Find out what you enjoy doing and do well. Then find some dark corner of this world and brighten it with your gifts". I'm doing that in a small way, but am reaping great rewards from it. I know you will be able to do this too someday. Hugs, Holly

At least you have kids to keep you going unlike me. I don't know if my situation would really be any better if I had kids to deal with. I can see how it possibly could be worse, since kids don't come cheap. I can barely afford to take care of myself let alone kids. Buying decisions stress me out too. Medical expenses and the whole 9 yards.

Thanks for the replies. I think you're all right in that I've got to forget about working and explore other options. I do like being outside - that's my escape when things get too much or I need to be alone. So, perhaps the animal/nature volunteering would be an option. I do have a very busy home life anyway which makes coping difficult (both my boys have aspergers and are very needy). However, one goes for a little respite now (term time) and that helps a lot. My occupational therapist has backed off a lot lately and only sees me once a month which has probably caused a bit of backlash for me (funding cuts in U.K). She has suggested EMDR therapy for the ptsd though I'm a bit worried about this as my brain doesn't function right anyway. Wonder if the support group option (Cheesecake's one) might be a better idea if I could find one. Agree with Tedruxpin that buying things is a big stress trigger so am going to avoid if I possibly can. Feel ever so slightly better today - I do reckon that I've got a lot of anger about the next surgery (3rd one in 20 months). I was a very fit, healthy person before all of this stuff. Also, the other surgeries are fresh in my mind and I actually feel quite scared this time. It's affected my little boy a lot and he's already making plans to 'look after me' next week. It makes me so cross that we have to go through this and that my previous employer's response to the injuries were that it was a high risk job aka part of the job. This goes through my mind a lot.

hi there. im totally new to this forum and also pretty new to my brain injury.
I was operated for a brain aneurism in 2013.. ive now been declared unfit for work and its a bitter pill to swallow.
i fought hard to get back to work but each time i did it failed.. i have trouble communicating, talking and understand what is being said to me. i cannot concentrate on anything and often lose words..

in answer to the what now.... for me, i volonteer in a social center for the elderly, alcohlics, lonely.. its just 3 hours a week but its nice to get out the house!

Hi mummers,
Sorry to hear about your operation and injury. Advice is good and it's really brought home to me that to keep putting myself in a difficult situation is making me more unconfident and upset. Sad thing is I get very little state benefit and today I've been told that I have to go for a medical on the 16th to assess whether I can even keep that benefit. The doctors there tend to be different nationality with very little English and not much understanding of tbi. (They are employed by an agency). I'm really very anxious about it and now have to worry for the next few weeks. All this for 40 a week!

I am testing for the Division Of Rehabilitation in Maryland and am panicked that I wont pass so they wont help me get a job. I also have paralyses on my left side. As if TBI wasn't enough. I am getting help for the suicide attempt, but this will really set me back if I cant work part time. I have way more time on my hands than things to do. I feel totally worthless.

Hi friends,

Have you heard or read about a new molecular therapy that uses targeted peptides and proteins to restore cellular function?
If you Google "Peptide treatment" or the company named "Regenerative Cellular Therapy", you can get a lot of valuable information.

My brain injury happened when I was ten and I have never been able to hold a job long. I'm always three steps behind everyone else. It just sucks. I got lucky and married a man that knew what was going on with me before he married me. He has a good job with good insurance. We aren't rich, but we get by. I have always felt kind of useless.
Just last week my doctor told me that I have brain atrophy on the right side, so yeah, I'm like, 'what now?'.
My injury was thirty nine years ago. I was hit by a car, landed on my head and had a grad-mal seizure. During the seizure I stroked out and lost 35% of my right temporal lobe.
I have looked into a service dog. But you can't have one if you already have dogs. I have two. And it takes one to four years to get one. If you think you might need one, go to paws for a cause.com. Good luck. You are not alone.

Yes, I have a dog already. Actually he's the most enriching part of my life (always there for me). It's such a difficult time at the moment - I'm reeling from one crisis to the next. I have two sons with huge problems and the elder one has been ill since 16 years with hypothyroidism and chronic fatigue as well as learning dis. - he's now 24. I'm trying to make decisions about his care and ongoing medical investigations. Realised I'm going to have to make a case for him having Armour thyroid treatment and will have a big fight on my hands as the UK doctors are totally against it. Last night I was so stressed that I took double the amount of a tranquiliser just to be able to switch off for one minute (not something I would ever normally do). I tried acupuncture this week for the first time to alleviate spinal pain but it wasn't in any way helpful so I had that disappointment hanging over me. So, even though I'm going back to do my voluntary work again next week - I know the pain issues are going to be big. I guess lots of people on this forum are in the same boat with tbi and also pain issues. Sometimes you just don't know what to do for the best. Anyway, thank goodness for this technology otherwise I don't know how I'd cope.