Are you on disability? Do you do anything with your days. Hanging out in limbo is not good. I have a tbi but the military treated me like nothing was wrong. I kept wondering why I couldn't keep up.
Anyway, I don't work. I have a husband that takes care of me. I know it is different for men. But I do do things. I belong to the Eastern Stars. We do charity work. I also belong to the Red Hats. That gets me out of the house at least one day a month to do something fun, just for me.
Try to find a tbi support group in your area. If you were military, go to the VA. Try to meet other men with the same interest and problems. You need to get out and do something. Anything besides being in limbo.
Good Luck
Jenn

Hi, I don't know what "craziness" you did on the day of your tbi, but I wouldn't repeat it. If it was anything careless, you might end up with another tbi.

As Pogo said, you need to do something to fill your days. Living in limbo isn't good for you in so many ways. You need emotional connections, even if it's just with a group you have coffee with once in a while. That also will meet some social needs. You mentioned you didn't do the bar scene anymore. That's good because alcohol is No good for people with tbi. It causes neuron death , so your memory and other things can't regenerate. And perhaps that's not the best place to find new friends- you don't need drinking buddies right now. ( I used to counsel alcoholics, and they said they used the term "buddy" for people they met at the bar . "Friends " were those people who were there for them and supported them in life ).

Try to make a schedule for your days, even if it's just "Monday, do laundry and go to the store. Tuesday, go to the library". That will give you something concrete to do and routine is good for us. For me, I have something concrete to do every morning and every afternoon ; it helps break up the day and I"m also doing something worthwhile.

As far as marking your anniversary; I've had 3 tbis- Sept 23, May 30, and March 17 (of different years ) are the dates of mine. I don't bother to acknowledge them much now. I write an email on the one in Sept to my original neurologist . I had brain surgery that day, and I like to update him. Other than that, I am busy on all those days with other things- I guess I"ve moved on with life . They just don't mean anything to me.
The key is to Live! As Jen said, try to find a group to join. I belong to 2 groups within my church, teach English to foreign students, and have a regular Friday date with a friend to go shopping. Those activities , along with just doing things here in the house, keep me busy . I must have quiet times also, but they don't take up a lot of my day. I hope you can find things that will interest you , and can find a purpose for getting up in the morning.

Hi, I wonder if the hiking option would be good. Exercise makes me feel better in so many ways - I mean walking with my dog. I do have pain issues but the benefit to my mood and general outlook is huge afterwards. Recently, on the advice of someone on this forum, I started doing voluntary work on a local community farm. I do this when I feel up to it so there's no pressure (and also no pressure when I get things wrong, can't remember etc.) It's a lovely place and I chat to the pigs, fowl, goats and other critters as I do the feeds. I come home feeling just a little like I used to after doing exercise. I don't like to mix so much nowadays and keep myself to myself but animals are great and don't talk/mess with your head etc. I try not to think about the accident anniversary and am a bit plagued with bad thoughts about how I was treated afterwards by various people; so this memory is not a good place for me. Good luck, have a great birthday and remember, you might just meet someone nice through a regular voluntary slot or similar (or even on that hike!)

Yes I'm disabled, or so the Dr. likes to think. It'll take more then this crap to keep this Hill Jack down. No I'm not military. If I stay in limbo I tend to not piss people off with my short temper, memory problems, or the trouble I have with focusing sometimes. I cut the ties with most of my friends because I didn't want them to see the new me I like them to remember that other guy. Hey Hollygrove, I know it seems a little off but I was always a loner, didn't seem to really need that emotional connection with people. Since the 6th grade I've had one true friend, we were close, but after the wreck I cut her and her kids out. my lose. The craziness of that day was just visiting where I worked, then on the way home that dumb ass hit me. so I ended up at OSU med. so I thought I'd visit the nursing home that morning, then I have my yearly visit with the Dr. at 3p same day. So I think I may just wing the in between times.. But who knows I may just run into the man or woman of my dreams and live happily ever after... LMAO

Hugs Red, I don't have an exact date for my injury, and although I worked with lots of people, I have always needed my alone time...that is even more important now for me. I do talk to people, but it is often strangers at the grocery, neighbors do not get it....I really hate gossip, judgements, so I'm solitary where I live and look for ways to socialize, even if it's just at Whole Foods, or with animals at Petco and Petsmart. Whatever you find that helps you, it's probably different for all of us. It's true what was said about volunteering/venturing out in the city.....you just never know who you might meet when you aren't looking:-) :-) Peace and Blessings!!

Hi Rednecknit,

I am 49 and got my TBI and partial Paralyses on 9/9/2011. I found that by keeping my life in limbo, it was the worst thing I did. It was only when I moved forward that I could look back and feel awful for my life and mourn it. I am still young, but don't date either. I want to love myself again before I do. I'm on disability and don't expect or want anyone to take care of me. I made 40,000 in 2011 and had 6 years of college. Now I'm at a 3rd grade level with my subjects but a few. I used to love the Bar scene in my 20's but not anymore. I started getting out as much as I could even if it was to take MTA Mobility to the movies by myself. I did that until I could get a volunteer job to make me feel vibrant, alive, put meaning and purpose in my life so I didn't feel like I was sitting and waiting to die. I now feel like being part of society again. One day of lunacy will give you happiness that is fleeting. Why not have some joy each day so you build some happiness everyday. I used to go for the "Quick Fix" but now I get my fix in just by living my life as best I can everyday. Sure there are shitty days, but staying stuck is the mother of SHIT................

You can do better my friend....I believe in you as I've read many of your posts. Don't sell yourself short, you have too much you can offer yourself and others.

Anita

Call your friend. She misses you.

Thanks NoBotox, but I'm just not ready to try an rebuild that friendship. I miss her more than words can speak, I'm just not able to balance her and my father. They don't like each other.

I understand.
When the time is right, perhaps.