Hi, my name is Norma Jean and have an ABI (acquired brain injury). In my experience, it doesn't seem to make a huge difference "How you got our BI", you may end up with the same results as someone like me who never got their head banged up, but was deprived air. Different method, same result. But, everyone has a different reaction to the offense on the brain.

You didn't say how long ago you were injured? That is important in how far along your recovery is. Would you be willing to share?

Having a hard to relating to others, including family and friends is pretty normal for us BI'rs and for them to relate to us.

I have included several really good links for check out if you like, The more you educate yourself and your family (if they are willing). I hate to say this, but some families just want the "old you" back and since there is no cast on your head....you should be fine. What you write is not uncommon for someone with a brain inury.

Check out: tbiguide.com
It is a downloadable very easy to understand for you and your family the basics for brain injuries and is kind of the tbi bible if you will for helping to easily understand what is going on with you. Dr. Glen Johnson wrote the book.

also: http://bjscloset.bravepages.com/7.html
BJ is a fellow survivior who has a great set of pages for you to gain information, support and such. Most importantly is the very first link on her page is: A LETTER TO YOUR BRAIN.
I have it saved on my favorites and whenever I feel stupid, down and need to be reminded of why I am the way I am.... I read it again.....It is great read...

There are many other great sites to go to. If you like, please write me off list at: stormyjean2002@yahoo.com

Also...... good move about the boyfriend... you need to be surrounded with positive, caring and informed people about your injury.... and..... love does come after a BI... I met and married my husband after my accident. We've been married for seven years.. he does not have a BI.

nj

Its so sad to hear you call yourself damaged goods. Although I understand what you mean. I hope someone comes into your life that loves you regardless. I never knew love was so 'conditional' until after BI.

My BI came after a medical condition and many brain surgeries. So even though my head didn't receive a 'blow' it was under tremendous pressure for a period of time enough to cause damage. I have a permanent shunt now diverting extra fluid off my brain into my belly.

The good days and bad days confuse me, so I understand why it confuses other people. Its extremely frustrating though. I wish there was a way to make other people 'get it'. We are here for you any time you feel lonely. Are there any BI support groups that meet up in your area?

I fell in my apartment hitting my head on my coffee table. It knocked me out cold. Luckily the consignor from my apartment came up to check on me or in 2 hrs I would have died. I would always stop on my way to work and chat with him and that day I didn't.

Theres no such thing as "damaged goods" Dont call yourself that ever again. My bf is only 29 and i am 47. He drove everyone away from him over the years due to his deep struggles with bi-polar, OCD and ADHD. He was so-called damaged goods, but we clicked, and he fell in love with my son first, then me. I have depression and ADD also, and a mixed up past, marriage to an alcoholic, sexual abuse as a child. I too was damaged goods (according to ppl who think that way) We helped each other...actually feel he saved me more than i did him. When he had his car accident Dec 4th I knew he was the only true love ive ever known and i was losing him. But he pulled thru and is home now and progressing. Oh I dont mean to say its easy....hes a real handful, and he is frustrating much of the time, but its worth the journey to have him back. So what im saying is that you will find your perfect mate, and what you see as damage will mean nothing to them, ok??

Norma Jean,

Thank you for the links, those helped alot, I've been searching for something like that and if you or anyone else has any other info that they think might be helpful, anything at all my email is cutegirlinus@aol.com. But my whitewater rafting accident happened in august 2010 but I started having slight symptoms over the upcoming months, I didn't start having major symptoms until my seizures kicked in last month and now its just been a life altering experience from cognitive, speech, memory, vision, balance, crying all the time, depression, confusion, if its listed under the mild tbi list I have it says my neuro doc. It's just been overwhelming and then the bf thing goes to crap..which like I was saying before is fine I deserve better by far and to boot, he has a tbi..so either way it wouldn't have been healthy to be together until we healed ourselves anyways...but I just can't take much more. This week is just tough overall emotionally, I'm just struggling, financially, mentally (dad's going into surgery on Thursday and my best friend who passed away in October, his bday is Saturday) and then I just broke up with Jim yesterday and then my family just doesn't get my injury and they don't seem to want to even try and understand it. It's just a tough week. But I did read the letter to your brain and that was good. I really liked that link. The tbiguide I have..that helped me out as well especially the steps one goes through..i think i'm in-between steps somewhere. But I'm not sure what you mean by write you off a list? And if I was injured in August of 2010..how long is recovery do you think? or can one even begin to gauge that?

Hi Moxy,

I actually have to go to a different state to see my speech lady and she's trying to put together a group for me but trying to find a ride to just go to my regular doc appts is hard enough so I'm not sure how I could even work that out. But I'll figure something out. The bugger part of all of this is that my now ex-bf is the one person that has been bringing me to most of my appts. As much of a awkward situation as it is, he's bad at relationships but a good friend so I'm not sure how long I'll even be getting rides for but all I can do is hope for the best for right now and see what happens. I just feel like lately no one wants to deal with me cause they think I'm damaged. Even one of my girl friends that used to hang out with me all the time now says she'll call to hang out and then never does..I get blown off all the time. It's just sad. Or like my uncle called today for the first time, he didn't know yet about my injury and after I had told him his exact words were "well I'll be honest with ya I don't know what to say so I'll let ya go bye" and I was just crushed cause he just literally just hung up on me. I'm not brain dead I'm still sharp..I'm still intelligent it just doesn't come out the way I want it to half the time and its so frustrating. I guess coming on here makes me feel a bit better cause its people like yourself Norma Jean, Jonrusse, Blue and the others that just know..ya know..I just wish my friends got it. I do have a friend that has cancer not a BI but has suffered in a lot of pain and frustration so he gets some of it so we tend to lean on each other and he lives a couple of towns over so its atleast something. I was pretty low the other night..scary low to be honest but he was there to pick me back up emotionally..thank god. But I've never had my emotions been this out of wack before and its just such a scary feeling. I just don't know who else to turn to and without being able to drive to people cause my license got taken away due to my seizures I feel trapped. I'm limited to my resources. But anyways, thank you for responding, it means alot that you took the time out of your night to care about someone you dont even know :) means the world to me.

Jonrusse,
Did they ever find out why you feel in the first place? It's funny how its that one day you didn't stop by that makes someone react to go check on you. Thank god he was working that day too. It's funny how I think of my accident. It was my first time ever going. The guide put me in what they call the "ejection seat"...I didn't know this til after and he knew it was my first time too. there wasn't even supposed to be 10 of us either..the girl that invited me wasn't supposed to be on it cause she hurt her back..but went anyways..then i got ejected on the class 5 rapid right after my guide flipped out of the boat.(um ya that was a bad sign). But they say everything happens for a reason, just want to know why I got a brain injury and when will my recovery be done with. But thank you for sharing.

blueguitargirl,

I know I shouldn't say damaged, I know but it's so how I feel lately. Especially after how I've been told all the things I'm saying or doing wrong lately, and how I've been kicked to the curb and not wanted anymore. Just who would want someone who can't even speak correctly or share something correctly or has to drive them everywhere and has no job right now and can't work. I hate being a burden. I went from being the most independent, caring giving person you could possibly ever know to being the most imperfect one. I just have nothing to offer anyone right now. No money, no license, no job, can't even speak correctly lol who the heck wants that. I know I'm kicking myself up the butt right now and I know its not healthy to think that way and I'm so trying to stop these thoughts but its so hard when there's no light at the end of the tunnel yet. I need to hear from my long term disability people that a check is approved but they haven't yet. My stupid license is still revoked cause of my seizures until the summer so I still have to ask for rides which I hate doing, I hate depending on others. I'm always the one helping others not the other way around. I'm just out of my element that's all. I just need something to go right. I need my dad's surgery to go well. I need money in my bank account and I need to get my brain stronger. I hate not having control over my life and all I do lately is cry and it just bites. Just trying to stay strong ..that's about all I can control at this point. But I will do my best and take your advice...and not say I'm damaged goods.. thank you for being there for me as well.

Here's another question for all of ya...do you find that after your injury your emotions are all over the place like you can be somewhat ok one minute and then a basket case the next? I've always been a very stable person but ever since my seizure and my TBI symptom kicked into full gear I can't seem to gain control of them like I used to. The past few days I've just been feeling like I've been on a nasty roller coaster of emotions. Anyone else going through the same and if so, what have you been doing to help with it?

Hey!

Yup, if you don't come out of the hospital with a cast or stitches or a crutch, everyone seems to think you're fine. I'm four years post and to look at me I'm fine, but there is other pain you can't see.

I aquired my tbi by falling down a flight of stairs in the middle of the night and not being discovered for a couple of hours. Duh.

You're not damaged goods! If anything you're a 'survivor' and have more strength than you had before ~ and more undiscovered determination.

You're not rambling. It's not a sob story; it's your story and the chapters will keep getting better and better.

hugs & rainbows / kim

Hi Meeps. Saw your post earlier and was going to respond, but I myself am going through a bad bout at the moment with my head.

Am glad to see you got so many responses!

My TBI is from a car accident, but I think others have said this: It doesn't really matter too much how you got your TBI. It's not like people understand or are sympathetic, just because I was hit by a drunk driver on the freeway.

Don't get me wrong - some people are horrified at what happened to me. But other people are just like, "Oh well."

Meanwhile, it's 1 year later, and my life has consisted this past year of excruciating pain, depression, and living on my couch and in Dr offices.

Just about everything you write I can relate to, in terms of how you feel.

Yup, my emotions have been all over the place as well. I think that's pretty much par for the course. It sucks & is overwhelming to have the whoosh of emotions overtake you. I'm in the midst of some sadness today because I had a bad head pain day yesterday & am dealing with the exhaustion today.

i got my brain injury walking into a steel beam. but had a prior brain surgery for a ruptured brain aneurysm followed by a stroke.
I know what you mean if you dont look damaged everyone thinks your fine. it can be very frustrating.

Mine is from a motor accident, motorcycle to be exact, but I know it has been said. Doesnt really matter how you get it. Brain injury sucks!!!
I do have one friend who got hers in a horse riding incident. And another that was shot in the head, and another from anoxia.

I have been saying for a while that I feel like I need to wear a band aid on my head. Yeah I "LOOK" fine, but that does not always mean I feel fine. I do have problems. Good days and bad days.

And yes, severe mood swings can be common with some folks. My moods are everywhere.

I too have said I am broken?? Who wants me I am broken?? I understand what you are saying there.

I am glad you found us and this site. We do understand, more so than family and friends that you see face to face.
Much love luck and strength to ya!
Kara