sure I relate. If you ask for valium, they will give it to you through an injection which hurts, by the way. I have another MRI sceduled for the 21 of this month. I close my eyes and pray when I am in there! Even with the medicine, I close my eyes and pray! It's very calming then. Fear subsides and one becomes tranquil.

For sure you are not alone with that feeling. I've had medullablastoma since 1999 & have MRI's every year as well now over the past 6yrs. I feel that i only really can live from year to year. Next to my picture in the mri room it says the nickname that the tech's gave me "most frequent flier" it's funny but scary at the same time. No one else here can really understand all the anxieties that i have when i go into that clicking & banging machine. I look through that little mirror in there & watch the faces & reactions of the technicion's, they aren't always good. I can read my own scans now but i'm usually only halfway through, have another half hour before i can truly know for myself. It's excruciating! I don't know anyone else (without health problems of course)that can empathize with us. Well, it sounds to me like you are supported in all that you do. So i wish you all the best...