Borderline Personality Disorder Community Group
For people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, or family dealing with someone who has been diagnosed. BPD is an extremely difficult mental illness to deal with and I am hoping to be able to share experiences, advice and support to help people living with it.
I am currently going through the diagnosis process with my 13 year old daughter. She fits all criteria for BPD. I've thought this was just how she was and had no idea about BPD.
Can anyone tell me their experiences? Diagnosis history or how you finally knew you or someone you loved had BPD? Treatment options? Prognosis? Anything really would be appreciated.
Thank you in advance!
i've been diagnosed with bpd for a couple months now. i'm also studying to be a clinical psychologist, so i got some pretty thorough knowledge of mental illnesses in general.
i self diagnosed years ago though because the medical industry is biased to bpd folk and i couldn't afford a doctor. i've shown minor symptoms since i was about 6-8 years old, but they got really severe when i was 12.
having bpd is hard, especially when you're a young teenager. people always told me was it "normal" and "just teenager mood swings." getting a professional diagnosis is also difficult because, historically, doctors don't want to diagnose patients with bpd for a number of reasons: if they are a minor, if they are AMAB (assigned male at birth--these folk are usually diagnosed with ptsd instead because of gender biases regarding the link between sex and emotionally display), the social stigma associated with a bpd diagnosis--the list goes on and on. it is often misdiagnosed or under-diagnosed, especially for minors and AMAB folk. i had therapy as a 6-8 yr old because of csa trauma, but doctors don't like diagnosing people that young and i wasn't able to afford continual therapy. i got diagnosed after i told one of my professors i tried to commit suicide since they're legally required to make us attend the university counseling center.
i never knew i had bpd at first. sure, my behavior was odd as hell, i was always depressed or hyper, and i couldn't socialize even if my life depended on it. because of what adults told me, i thought it was "normal" to spend every day wanting to die because of "hormones." it wasn't until i was 15-16 that i thought "maybe this ISN'T normal" and i researched around possible explanations. i read the entire dsm-iv (the manual used by psychologists to diagnosed patients) and sifted through symptoms and diagnosed myself with what fit me best (that's called a differential diagnosis). i also poked around online in bpd communities and...it just all made sense. my behavior WASN'T average like i had thought, but there was others like me.
treatment wise, there isn't a specific treatment, but there's a most common used approach. weekly therapy sessions are a MUST for improvement. the therapist will use CBT (specifically DBT which is a more refined sub-category of CBT). cbt is cognitive behavioral therapy and dbt is dialectical behavior therapy. my counselor focused on dbt with me since it was developed my marsha linehan, a doctor with bpd, and made SPECIFICALLY for borderline folk since nothing really helped us. this is what dbt is in a nutshell: http://www.discoveryacademy.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/DBT-infographic-DA.jpg ; the words in the red are the instinctual borderline behaviors, which need to be turned into the terms in the center of those circle things through usage of dbt skills. filling out mindfulness worksheets helps with figuring exactly what needs to be worked on. a google search of "dbt worksheets" could be helpful for your daughter. most people attend therapy until their 30s-40s on average.
depending on symptoms, a number of medications can be used. the medications DO NOT treat bpd, but they help manage the symptoms (if you manage the symptoms better, you're more likely to successfully implement dbt skills to correct behavioral issues). most common medications are anti-anxiety ones, anti-depressants, and occasionally anti-psychotics if dissociative symptoms are present. they help manage the intense mood swings and dissociation.
as for prognosis, bpd really can't be cured. it's a personality disorder. it's not, for a lack of better word, as "simple" as just taking medications and being all better. bpd is a set of learned and automatic behavioral responses to stressors, and behavior/habit are the HARDEST things to change in a person. most people attend therapy until their 30s-40s and an overwhelming amount of patients will relapse with their symptoms. catching it at a young age is CRITICAL for being able to get off of having therapy at an earlier age. if it is caught at an early age and the patient cooperates with their therapist on treatment, most are able to AT LEAST reduce symptoms so they aren't as detrimental to the quality of life. keep in mind that doctors are not miracle workers: if your daughter wishes to get better, she has to put in effort. the worksheets can be a chore, but they really do help. ultimately it is up to her to learn the dbt skills neccessary to control behaviors/emotions and how they are displayed--whether she chooses to act on an emotion/impulse or not.
it is extremely important to be supportive throughout treatment. us bpd folk tend to do whatever most pleases our loved ones; we can be like emotional sponges--our self worth is defined by whatever those we care about want and think of us. treatment can seem daunting at first and many people choose to skip it, but it is crucial for one's quality of life to improve.
i THINK i touched on almost everything, but if you have any other questions or specifics you would like to know about, feel free to ask me. i hope this helps!!
At 18 I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2. It was further backed up by two psychologists. However, as I got transferred to a psychiatrist when I was 22 or 23, I started doubting whether or not it was really bipolar. My psych at that time did a test, I was comorbid with bipolar and bpd traits. She then referred me, and I'm currently in intense treatment for BPD. As for meds, I was initially on meds for anxiety (clonazepam). But I really fought to not be on meds for years. Eventually I had enough and went through many trials of medicine. Only after some weeks and through comparison I could really assess the differences in side effects of meds. I'm currently on Lexapro and Lamitcal.
As for my symptoms, and things to expect, you need to observe and speak with your child often. My bpd does not show up as the criteria outlines it, not all of them anyway. Manipulating people or bursts of anger aren't in my symptom list. So for me, its chronic feelings of emptiness,pushing and pulling people away, spiralling quickly into depression for triggers,sensitive to rejection even if its mild, idealising, splitting, two instances of dissociation, merging with other's identities, serious fears of abandonment, feeling unstable,self harm, drug dependency and then symptoms of depression and avoidance that stem from it.
my family has not been supportive, and that's been a huge wound. So when trying to be there for your child, please talk to them about what they experience and what they're feeling and perhaps try to establish patterns so you can start recognising moments, and being able to treat with it as it comes. Being there is absolutely key. Letting her know that you will never leave her, no matter what surfaces for her, she needs to know that especially in her down moments. Keep an eye out for other comorbid activities that could stem from it, like drug or alcohol abuse. (My dr told me that BPDs have a higher tendency to have addictive tendencies)
And finally, I want to suggest something that you may not agree with. My doctors have used CBT and DBT and this new treatment called Dynamic deconstructive therapy. But I've found that meditation, yoga, reiki, and mindfulness help. If your family is religious, maybe that can be an source of stability for her as well. BPD gets a bad rep, but its truly not as crazy as people make it out to be. Management is important. Good luck!
Well she is currently in a residential treatment for young girls and they are doing intensive therapy and cbt but at this point she is still very reluctant to open up and doesn't feel like there is anything wrong with her. We know there's nothing "wrong" yet she definitely has BPD. Its really hard for my husband to understand but he is patient and kind and living but he has faced most of her push/pull behaviors which has been so difficult.
We seem to be seeing some progress and they have started her on anti depressants for now. Also, we feel like this treatment may work better since it is about a year long program versus a few months as she would easily manipulate that.
I am curious if any of you are will g to share some symptoms that you have experienced??? I understand it may be private and I respect that 100%, but if anyone is willing to share that would be helpful.
I read the DSM and she fits each of those criteria but I am interested in a personal level. Some of you talk of the manipulation and the push and pull so I am curious if anyone will share more.
I appreciate each of you and all of your replies helped so much. All of you are amazing resilient be vs and I have so much love for each of you.
I love my daughter and will go to the ends of the earth for her as well as our immediate family. It is not something I've shared with all of the extended family as many are judgemental assholes. The most important and closest to her k ow and support her. It would be helpful to hear experiences as well that I may be able to share or relate to her.
Thank you in advance and I will NOT wait 1p months before coming back!!!
Love and light to all!!!