Ninja,
I think you should choose someone else, not someone your b/f used to be close to. Good luck!

ive been interested in polyamory, only problem im single and haven,t got any1 lol

I have had 2 or 3 women come into our bed ...at the time it was great .. I realised ..Someone else was haveing sex with my fiance !! Its fun while it lasts ..the after affects can hurt you to the core..dont do anything if there is a second thought in your mind ..Dont do it for him..do it for you

my fiance and i are interested in polyamory as well. we havent found anyone, u and ur man should communicate and make sure u dont find another girl like the one u described. is it possible to be bi, not into polyamory and still date other women? j/w

For me being bi doesn't mean i have to see both sexes at the same time. I love women, and I love men. My boyfriend wanted to make me happier by allowing me to see women too, because physically he cant offer me the same thing. But, i can go without and just stick to fantasizing if need be. I think he is making a very good effort to make me happy, I am just not willing to share my boyfriend's emotional love with any other girl.

A really great book that explains more than I possibly could is called 'The Ethical Slut'. It depicts polyamory in a moral, and obviously ethical way/practice with helpful problem solving techniques for jealousy and setting boundaries within an open relationship.
It has helped my partner and I maintain an amazing relationship where I am free to pursue women if I choose (without bringing them into our bed)....
peace xo

I've actually found the newer book "Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships" by Tristan Taormino to be a better "go to" book about polyamory than The Ethical Slut. I keep having to buy new copies because I loan mine out. :)

this subject is back again. i used to ask a question on here about poly but the women on here chewed me out! i have done poly had a gf for me and me only. we agreed to be honest at all times plus she said im only exclusive to u no one else well she lied and cheated me 3 times such a hoe anyway. i dropped her we dated for 2 months still kinda bitter.

i still do poly but not looking for a gf nor a fuck buddy.

I'm sorry you had such a negative experience, ladytiger (both in the relationship, and in talking about polyamory here). :(

I totally "feel ya" - not looking for fuckbuddies either. And I'm finding that women just scare me any more. *sighs* I don't know what it is, other than my long experience at women feigning bisexuality to get with the guys I was with, because they figured it was a "package deal" or something. Universally, once they got in HIS pants, I'd hear "I was just trying it out, but bisexuality isn't for me". Or, as in the case with my last girlfriend, she really had no idea how to get beyond "having fun sex with girls" to having an actual relationship with one, and eventually declared she "just wasn't as bi as she thought she was" All of which has left me incredibly gun-shy (which is really frustrating me right now...the current object of interest is lesbian and has absolutely NO interest in my mate, but I find myself too scared to make a move, fumbling and feeling like I'm screwing things up and like I'm disappointing her). *sighs*

Here's hoping I'm just hormonal and being silly. I know I tend to over-analyze things and worry too much. Meh.

reply #10,

now my ex gf is a les and preggo so she claims. she talked shit about me i tried to help her with her probs she gets in bed with guys in a heartbeat. she let girls do things to her sexuality she wouldnt do much with them im like really? frustrating. she was so much into sex with men than women but saying i will do lots of naught stuff to u never did happen.

i agree that your mans ex is not a good choice................someone kinda neutral would be better.