I started coming out in my early teen years. The first person I told was my parents. My dad was then and always has pretty much just ignored it. My mother on the other hand, freaked. She blamed the first girl I started dating and still blames this girl. I had asked my mom at 11 years old what she would do if I was gay and she just told me to go away. Then at 13 I started dating a girl. She did not like the fact that my parents did not know and a month into the relationship I told them. My mother screamed at me, called the girls grandmother and told her what was going on, that I was no longer allowed to see the girl, and that the girl had screwed me up. She told me it was all that girls fault and that it was wrong and I was not allowed to see her again.

A few years later I started dating another girl. She came over on a Friday after school, and we started dating then. She stayed at my house over the weekend and left Sunday. I told my parents I was dating her Sunday night. My dad got mad I had her in my bed the whole weekend but ignored the relationship after that night. My mother freaked again and wouldn't allow me to see the girl for a few weeks, but when I didn't give in she let me see her. But if I even held the girls hand my mother tweaked.

Now I am 20. I am still having severe issues with my mother. I was in the car with her and my brother yesterday. Somehow, we got on the topic of gays. My mother stated that she was not homophobic and my brother and I both laughed and said oh yes she was. She said she wasn't. I then stated that she had a problem with me and she freaked out yet again. Said, "I do NOT have a problem with gays, I just have a problem with my DAUGHTER BEING GAY, or bisexual or what ever the **** you say you are. You cause this ****ing family enough grief with your medical and psych issues, you are not allowed to ruin it any ****ing more by being ****ing GAY!"

I just do not know how to deal with my mother. My brother was even surprised to here that come from her. I don't know what to do, or how to get her to realize I am not going to change. I am in a relationship with a man now, but I still feel the same way about women as I do men. I will still say going down the street that I think that some girl is hot just as much as some guy. Why can't I get my mother to accept me or at least understand? Does anyone have any advice on this situation? It would really be appreciated.