Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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I decided to type and send a letter to a woman who really hurt me a year ago. I really don't think she realized how her actions hurt people. I told her the pain she caused me and my family and the ripple effect its had. She is married and tried to get my husband to sleep with her so she could get pregnant and we could share the baby. She never said she was sorry and it ate me up inside. Her husband was my husband's best friend. He stopped talking to him because of her and he had a breakdown. Anyway...in the letter i told her its hard for me to trust or make new friends...how i thought she had better ideals...how could she teach school children and be that kind of person. I told her if she saw me or my husband to leave wherever we are because i didnt want to regret what i might say or do. I told her i hoped she found a better self than the person she was then.
I was harsh. I didn't use profanity. I said what I felt and thought I had the right to tell her how she made me feel. Her husband called mine and said please tell your wife not to contact mine anymore. Lets forget what happened back then. She feels threatened.
I think all i wanted was to see or hear remorse from her about it and let her know there is consequences that last more than a day. Now it feels like I'm made out to be the bad guy and she probably is saying she feels threatened because she knows I'm bipolar. Is what I did ok or should I have just sat on it? Who wouldn't want to confront the person who tried to ruin your marriage? Mayne I'm not seeing clearly...maybe anger has clouded my judgement. Please tell me your opinion...good or bad.
I was harsh. I didn't use profanity. I said what I felt and thought I had the right to tell her how she made me feel. Her husband called mine and said please tell your wife not to contact mine anymore. Lets forget what happened back then. She feels threatened.
I think all i wanted was to see or hear remorse from her about it and let her know there is consequences that last more than a day. Now it feels like I'm made out to be the bad guy and she probably is saying she feels threatened because she knows I'm bipolar. Is what I did ok or should I have just sat on it? Who wouldn't want to confront the person who tried to ruin your marriage? Mayne I'm not seeing clearly...maybe anger has clouded my judgement. Please tell me your opinion...good or bad.
I would let it go and keep your relationship with your husband moving forward/ She knows what she did and she has to live with it!
It's tempting to say bullshit you will here me out and so on. Thing is if she is beyond a full deck and is feeling "threatened" it's not worth her drama!
Good luck either way.
You had your say, got what you wanted to off your chest, I'd leave it at that. It sounds like you may live in a smaller town and you show up at the same places from time to time...the hope that she'll leave somewhere just because you are there is not realistic...the reality is you'll have to learn how to deal with it somewhat and just ignore her, otherwise you and your hubby can leave.
I think you did good for you by sending her that letter...and if she feels threatened, well she shouldn't be trying to sleep with someones hubby. But now I'd let it go, don't let it or her consume you. Enjoy your life with your hubby.
Kat
I don't think you did anything wrong but if you expect remorse you probably won't get it.
Also I'm not sure I would even be concerned about being told not to contact her any more. You should have been doing that from the start! I can't even imagine talking to some one if they came on to my husband!
I say good riddance!.
Try to let it go, u said what u needed to, I believe she is remorseful, but won't show it. Let her feel threatened, after what she did to u, she ought to feel threatened.
she knows deep down the harm she's done, and probably is being eaten up by her inner demons.....or is just sociopathic. either way, words would be of little use, besides short-term catharsis.
I went back and read it and it really isn't threatening. I think i just popped their bubble and she's being dramatic really.
You are right it is unrealistic in this small town not to run into each other at some point in time.
A common 'therapy tip" is to write the letter -- and then not send it.
So many times, sending it leaves the sender feeling worse than they did in the first place.
I understand the want to confront people on their past wrongs that bother you. I'm tempted plenty to do just that. Ask yourself what the repercussions could possibly be if you did something like that. I'm not surprised that her husband told yours that you shouldn't contact her again. I probably would have felt the same way.