2 attempts... no notes

it's easier to expose yourself when you're dead. I spose it's cowardly but that's how I see it.

*high five* Good post cb

I guess that was a rethorical question.

Go people! Do what you know should be done! Make up with people! Tell people off! Expose lies! Ask for forgivness!

What good is it going to be when you're dead?

i did all that exposed the lies made people see what was there and all it did was make my life my illness that much harder.

Its not worth it.

I'll treat it like I treated running away from home at 16 with my pregnant girlfriend. I didn't leave anything for my parents. I wasn't mad at them at all, the girl was going to go so I had to be the fool/hero to help her.

After a few weeks in a trailer on Marin County north of Frisco. She told me she was going shopping. That meant shoplifting of course.

I waited, and waited, and waited. After a week, I called my best bud Mike. He told me she came home and dumped me for another guy.

I called mom and cried all the way home on flight from SF.

Story of my life, except for my wife....26 years.

Mozart left too many notes

believe me, relatives got their grubby paws on my notes, ha. Have a long one from 2004. pretty much states opting out as realised I was becoming psychotic & was terrified. Realised after how connected I was to so many people, how much I would have hurt them..was oblivious to such things at the time. Try now to fight future death moods, be vigilant against them.

Writing and leaving a note was not in my thought processes during those times. It always cracks me up when people pick their song to die to. People really do this! Hugs to all the suicidal peeps.

I think when you are very serious about wanting to die some will plan it out to a t. write notes to all loved ones, pick a song, and have an exact way to "go". I think that is when it is scary if someone has it that planned out. However, it is also scary for the very impulsive suicidal person that will in an instants time take their own life without so much as thinking about it. there. thats my opinion

after my suicide attempt last week my doc and I had a serious discussion about leaving some sort of legacy for my girls something for them to hold on to. The point was to leave it if I tried again and succeeded, but we also talked about giving it to them before that happened. The whole idea is very sad for me to think about.

The impulsive people think about it a looong time also. Mine wasn't like planning a foreign vacation with all the travel arrangements in order. More like a trip to the figurative corner store to get the tools/supplies you'll need. I'm just not a romantic I guess. Writing a note doesn't make it any of a less thoughtless act either. And it's certainly not the time to tell someone off. Some only think of suicide to end an unbearable pain, not thinking about who's gonna be at the funeral & shit.

gemiwings got a good idea

one attempt no notes. Was too damn depressed to write.

I wrote the note but tore it up when I knew I couldn't follow through.