Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Well, to me it isnt really silly because it feels like im suffocating and it happens EVERY TIME my boyfriend goes out to his parents for the weekend in West Chester (which is not too often but often enough for this to happen when it does). They live an hour from where we live together on Staten Island. We have been together for a little over 2 years.
I dont know if its seperation anxiety, or if he makes it worse by COMPLETELY making me feel like I do not exist while hes there. He will not check in with me at all, unless I text him.
I guess I dont understand it because our family dynamics are so different. He's Russian and came from Uzbekistan when he was 8 and I'm Italian and Irish, American.
Although my family is tight knit, His family is overwhelmingly close and have no dysfunction WHATSOEVER, although his mom has MS and I know that must also be the reason my boyfriend feels the need to want to be close to her.
My point is, when I go out to visit my parents in P.A., Im constatntly on my phone telling him how much i miss him and how I cant wait to come home to him, because thats the truth. And, MY FAMILY DRIVES ME INSANE! I can only take them in super small doses. We are loud, curse and scream at each other, have a long line of addicts and mental illness.
And he, he just doesnt even fight with his family and goes to their every beck and call! When my mom calls I press ignore, let alone run out to P.A. whenever she needs something.
Maybe this is jealousy too.
But then again his mom is sick. I mean she is still mobile and works a full time job in Manhattan and everything.
But Mine isnt. She is just annoying.
And sometimes I forget that.
Our families are so so so different and everytime he is there, I just dont exist in his world. And it makes him gone being so much harder to deal with, because when hes there, all the attention is on them. But yet when hes with me, he has no problem staring at his phone...
Advice here? I don't know how to occupy my mind enough to stop obsessing about how hurt and neglected I feel, even though we live together, and even though he doesnst see them that much. This feeling is just too heavy.
What is this?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
1. Have you talked to him about this and it makes you feel?
2. Why don't you go with him sometimes?
I moved 1800 miles from my own clan center, and fortified the distance with barbed wire and armed guards, so my family and their violent dramas haven't been a big part of our daily lives, but the times hubs and sons have been exposed left them feeling culture shocked.
After 36 years of visiting, I still don't feel like a member of my husband's family. The amount of repression that goes into that family-unity-show is downright oppressive.
No good answers for you. The only consolation hubs and I have found in it is, "Between us, there is balance." We just keep it on our awareness radar as an on-going challenge.
arfie- that sounds hard, and I know many people with the same problem. I hope that your balance inbetween is where you and your husband find your peace. Much love
And hugs to all for the advice <3