Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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heretic 09/12/2011

I totally trashed my life, over and over again, and didn't even realize what I was doing till years later - after getting on meds.
The is no way to undo decades of damage. I've probably hurt dozens, maybe hundreds of people.
Just the realization of the extreme things I did makes me feel sick. I didn't even realize how sick I was at the time. I did so many terrible things. And now I have to live with the fallout. It's no mystery why my life sucks.

deleted_user 09/12/2011

Hi Herectic, I totally understand, trashed my life over and over again, I too have done the same thing. You can only go forward in this life,try not to dwell on the past, don't let it keep you from being happy in the future

dancingd 09/12/2011

It's time to forgive yourself.

Try to make amends where you can, offer up appologies , that's all you can do.

I also suffer great pain , when I think of the things I have done.

deleted_user 09/12/2011

I'm with DD, make amends where it wont injure someone. Some amends can only be made my living amends. Basically, Living right, taking your meds. and doing the right thing. Good Luck, this too shall pass

walkingthewhiteline 09/12/2011

Forgiveness is possible.

My husband could have written this discussion, but I have forgiven him. Please forgive yourself so your new life can begin.

Hugs to you,
Tamara

dancingd 09/12/2011

Also...............

Do NOT fall into the mind trap, that you are being punished for past things.

hugs

deleted_user 09/12/2011

I understand, I think my kids were robbed of their childhood....now they are teens living with their dad and barely speak to me. I'm hoping some time soon that will change.

deleted_user 09/14/2011

Letting go helps a whole lot.

deleted_user 09/14/2011

i think you need to realize you wont in control of your action at the time you need to forgive your self and maybe get back in people lives your not feeling good right now and you running this thought throught your head and it just making you worse i think your feeling this right now but it will pass i lost a lot of friends when i got sick but there not as close but where cool again now that they know why maybe some of the people you feel you hurt need to know why and you will get forgiveness

peanutsandcheese 09/14/2011

I am with you on this. I have done the same in my life. Living with the fallout has been tough. For me at this stage its all about making peace with myself. Accepting that I was very ill has been tough.
Others don't seem to accept that either. I do my best and with some people I will never stop trying to make peace with but with other people I have had to let them go. For my own sanity. Some people are actually getting to see me and know me as the stable person I am for the first time and they are surprised at what they are finding. Hell I am even surprised LOL. Don't beat yourself up. Make your peace where you can and move on from those you can't make peace with . Accept you were ill because its the truth.

deleted_user 09/14/2011

I totally understand what you are saying. You have to forgive yourself first. Realize you were not in a good place. I agree, make amends where possible, but where not your going to have to let go. some will be good about it and others won't. I am finding that a lot is the fact that people don't want to look at themselves and admit to what they have done, so they hold onto what others have done.
Please be kind to yourself!

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