My life is so shallow and a mess, like what a wreck, and as a result its become an emotional wreck affecting me as an active effect. Nothing but grief I'm given. It is written parents don't aggravate your children, we've all known from the beginning. 

Life is too much for me to handle all life tasks on my own. Knowing I've been limited makes life impossible and unbearable beyond belief.

Ehh... my troubles have nothing to do as a result of lack of knowledge, personal effort, failure to work, or lacking faith with works (I've tried all possibilities) and certainly not as a result of lacking hope or love but as a result of paperwork and paper trail being intentionally tampered with at state and National level. 

Whatever, this is all right here right now and it's all I'm good for. I'm not a poet, I'm not a mentalist or shallow person playing mind games with a persons life (my own life) which is at stake.

But never mind as in don't forget the times I've been repeatedly offended even when I've presented facts and still with the emotional infliction having to rise above the levels of disrespect in the form of swept under the rug to de-escalate for me to later completely having to avoid when in need of help. This kind of dark psychological behavior is called reverse psychology that leads the person in need back to their starting point of worse off a complete dead end. 

Totally understand why freedom ain't cheap and its never been for free, it comes and came with great sacrifice, placed all at stake, in the highest price one man has ever achieved. And it's no funny matter or serious blood drive type of promotion either. To him, Jesus The Christ, be all the glory on high for ever and ever. He's been my pillar of strength. I believe in his blood and sacrifice (atonement) for me.

Enough, I'm emotional and I know why and so do many others. Hundredths others if not thousands and three religious others in a similar disposition as I am. 

I'm so angry and hurt because I feel offended. I'm so much more than all this lowlife pettiness and shallow grievances when time is of the essence. Being victimized into a narcissist system is the worst type of bullying. 

Don't people know covid19 whipped many out of the opportunity to serve in good faith while those who are alive behave worse than dead corpses. 

Ungratfel people are the real virus.