Hi Pchamber~~

I don't know that we've met but I see we share some very common BP traits -- that imposing doom, gloom and dread. I'm sorry you're in the middle of bad days. I know it can get better.

I saw where you've taken some medications that were not helpful and had to quit another due to lack of insurance coverage. So where are you in your treatment? For many of us, we can do everything in our power to manage BP -- proper nutrition, exercise, adequate sleep and even therapy. But we just can't get a handle on it without the proper medications.

You have a very dear friend who understands very well the give and take of a good relationship. He obviously knows you've been down and he's still hanging in there with you. You're obviously very special.

We're here for you, Pchamber, and we want the best for you! Hang in there!

Depression sux chamber... Recognize it for what it is.. a cycle of our illness.. It lies to us and can be so painful...There is stability to be had.. Have you seen your pdoc lately?.. Do you need a med tweak?..
It sounds like you have a great friend who's there to support you...He values you and understands when you're in a dark place..
Please reach out for the help that you need sweetie..
Big hug for you and a blessing..xo

I hope things start working out better for you soon. I almost lost my marriage due to this dang BP I hate it. My wife and I both have BP. I have BP 1 and am now on Lithium 1200mg's a day but I still haangry outbursts and feel terrible afterwards for my actions. It does get better with counseling and staying medication compliant.

Pchamber-- BP almost ruined my life before I found a good pdoc and a good med combo. If you're not able to take your meds because of insurance issues there are discount cards available out there and also you can ask your pdoc for samples. If you explain that you have no insurance he/she should be able to provide you with samples every month. Just a thought.

As far as your friend goes... he obviously cares deeply for you and is willing to stick around through the bad times too. Find a way to reach out to him and ask him to continue to give the support you need. I'm sure he'd be willing and quit being so mean to him. He doesn't deserve it. I know you feel you can't help it but you can because I've done it. I wish I had a friend like yours still. You're very lucky.

Good luck in getting stable. It is possible. Keep us informed of your progress.

I am sorry you feel so down. It could be a combination of your bp and your life situation. I just know of you of what you wrote so my statement is a general one. Some times BP can make things seem worse than what they are. This is not to dismiss your situation. I didn't see other than your boyfriend relationship any details of what is going on in your life. Is it possible the BP is coloring your perceptions of your life right now?

I feel the same way a lot.

I know exactly how you feel. I also wake up feeling horrible and full of anxiety. I am trying to remember that our illness has these up and down cycles that are just part of the condition. I know you will feel better soon-

I know it can be absolutely horrible sometimes when your meds do not have you stabilized. As far as your insurance issue, pdocs sometimes have cards for certain meds to get 12 fills free such as Depakote and Lamictal. Like lilchit said they also have samples they might be willing to help you out with. Also, sometimes if your pdoc requests a medical necessity to your insurance company they will pay. I have know idea if this would be one of those times. Good luck to you and I hope your friend stays by your side. It sounds as though he will. - Suzanne

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