God promised us He will never leaves alone..


Look! God is behind you!
He don't wants to be seen because He is crying,
crying because you're sad.

I'm so pissed that i can't do anything right...my mom told me to join the PeaceCorps but i can't... hello meds? She just wants me out of her hair.... god i might be pregnant too! nothing is going right

Let it out then, vent away! :( Scream into a pillow?

Please vent! You are going through a lot.

You are not alone, you are never alone here, we understand when it feels like the one time of pain and crap too many. Who doesn't deserve times of self pity it's part of being human it's honest and healthy. lf l can ask anything from you it is to please please please go to your next therapy session, write down the emotions and thoughts you have now, some may escape you if you don't and take them with you to talk through.

Your therapist may well advice you see your Dr again, l know it feels futile today but try to remember that part of the hopelessness you feel is from the depression you are in, its the low telling you to give up and that it will feel this way forever....thats not true l love the line that this too shall pass, because it will.

You can get through this dark time hold on and tell your therapist everything.

i can join your rant - parents, brother, dead last two years. psych retired. i can't even BUY all my pills - and i HAVE insuarnce. it's the co-pays. but, at the end of the day, at the end of the hour - it's me, and, for me, it's my spiritual belief system. pills? why pills? because part of what all this is abt, a large part, is fucked up brain circuitry. we are simply wired differently. nothing bad, weak, evil, damned abt it - fucked up brain wires. so, pills help re-wire the grid. the electricity goes off at home? go out to the garage, find the control panel, and flip thru the breakers until you hit the right one. the lights come back on, but maybe now another you threw has to be re-done. so, you just do it, until the lights come on, the cable works, the whatever whatever. that sounds like a metaphor - but it's really NOT.

and, as the pills do their thing, talk therapy helps the other stuff.

hard to keep in perspective, i know - but it really COULD be worse!
you have enough capacity, intelligence and resources to get the help you need. many people who could be on these boards with us are instead homeless, unmedicated, self-medicating and sleeping under the bridges. this illness SUCKS. but, for me, i just try really, really hard to understand i DO have some blessings to count. as do you - whether you see them today or not. they are there, and when you can draw breath easier, you'll see them.......

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you are feeling so awful now. I feel like that too often but this site is helping me as are my meds. I hate taking pills too but if I didn't have something to take the edge off of the constant pain or help me sleep. No pills no sleep for me. You are not alone anymore. I found a quote that helps me, "No matter how bad you feel you will not always feel this way". I hope it helps you too. Gentle hugs, Lavonn

thanks everyone! Turns out i have the flu so at least i wont have to worry about work this week

i just checked that last one, and had to laugh!!!! i do the SAME thing - i feel awful, decide my life is even worse than i ever thought it was, make all kinds of decsions about just how much and how thoroughly i was useless and an unnecessary glob of protoplasm - and then find out i have the flu! or something similar - so OF COURSE i feel worse than usual. i am just awful abt this kind of thing - i've been known to go my doc and tell her how bad my memory now is, how everythign aches because i can't handle stress well.......etc., etc. the last time, i went to my doc abt headaches, pain radiating down my arm inability to move my shoulder - having already diagnosed myself into a group home for the rest of my life. i humored him, had an MRI done - 48 hrs later having surgery for 2 collapsed discs entrapping a nerve root.

my advice: the PHYSICAL is just as vital to pay attention to as the PSYCHOLOGICAL. of course, there's an interplay, but i have myself so locked into a "i'm crazy" thought process that the last thing i generally think of is that i might possibly feel awful bcs.....the flu is going around.

i know... sometimes i feel like a total hypochondriac, so when I'm actually sick I'm totally surprised.. They just put me on Cymbalta... does anyone take that?

i've taken that.................i've taken everything. i'm unfortunately one of those people very, very, very hard to find the right combo for. i think what iut as most helpful for for me was getting off effexor. i'd been on effexor a long time, and it was beginning to go sour on me, but i was having horrific w/drawal symptoms - so cymbalta was used to titrate me off. my major mood drug now is lamictal. also take provigil. suposed to be on lexapro - and i could REALLY use a good SSRI anti-dep, but the co-pay is too $$. so i'm now also working on incorporating omega-3 fish oil, which is a 100% natural mood balancer. *****************HOWEVER: i make it a practice of NEVER making suggestions of what may or may not work for anyone else*******************

I hear where your coming from at times I feel like that but I know what will happen to me if I dont take them and thats worse ,try to stick to it I am sure with time they will figure out the right pills takecare if you need a friend I am here .

I take cymbalta and it is working for me for the most part. I think it takes some time to kick in though, so hang in there.

If you just hang on you'll get through it. It completely sucks but it's good you are saying something about it and talking to people who understand. Sometimes when I write out everything that I'm feeling and how my life is shit I get it all out and then I start feeling guilty for feeling so pathetic and eventually I realize that there are good things about my life even if its hard and I start feeling better. Sorry to hear all the sad things that are happening to you, God loves you, He isn't gone. I'm a mama and sometimes I have to let my babies cry it out...I think God does this to us too. hugs

Take a deep breath, in and out a couple of times. Now...I have tried to kick pills twice this year and ended up trying to kill myself (overdosing) shortly after each time (ending up in the hospital-Emergency room and Psych unit).

Unfortunately at this time, pills are our friends. Not too long ago, we were treated with bloodletting, chains, wet packs and lobotomies. Meds, as much as we hate them, are our modern salvation. Yeah, Docs don't really know exactly how they work, but the right combination is essential to your mental health. Please hang in there and know that all of us understand the frustration of meds.

Try to stick with the Bipolar support group. I find it helps me when things get really tough (like now at 1:30 am and I can't sleep).

By the way, I think god has sent us to help each other (he seems to be really busy) so come to your friends for a little peace!